A Bar

Craig walked into his third bar of the night. He had struck out in the first two. Always an optimist, he thought “lucky number three!” As he walked into the dimly lit establishment, he quicky surveyed the bar for prospects. Taking a seat at the bar he ordered a whisky neat. “Sorry bud, Pizza place, only beer and wine”. Said the bartender. Looking behind, Craig noticed for the first time an adjoining room with tables and benches. “What have you got on tap?” He asked. He only half listened to the seemingly endless list of beers he had never heard of. Leaning forward on the bar he ordered the only name he recognized, when he sat up his arm brushed something loose on the bar. It was sitting in that little depression in the bar that’s supposed to stop spills from ending in your lap. Some kind of little stick. Maybe something to do with darts? He had noticed a dart board at the end of the room. Toying with it, he again surveyed the bar for a potential pickup. Ahh. Down near the far end, was a redhead by herself. MMMM. “Boy I bet she’d look good sucking my dick” he thought. “I’d have to call her Hoover, on account of how well she sucks.” He had a mental picture of that in his head. Speaking of vacuums, why had someone decided now was a good time to vacuum the place. The noise was distracting. But not as distracting at the redhead knocking her barstool to the ground. He looked back at her. She had the strangest expression on her face. Her mouth was forming a perfect O, and she seemed to be fighting something invisible to him. Maybe a bee had gotten in here, or a wasp or something. She was somewhat crouched, and kept moving her head back, as if dodging something. Then she started slowly sliding across the floor. It was like she was being pulled across the room and was fighting to stay back. The closer she got the louder the vacuum sounded. Weird. He stood up. Unsure of what to do. As he stood, his pants fell to the ground. What the hell? He was just about to reach for them when the redhead was suddenly right there! And with him half naked! She had her hands out in front of her and managed to grab his hips. The vacuum sound was very loud now. He realized the sound was coming from her! Specifically, her mouth! His naked penis, already half erect started fluttering in the airflow rushing into her mouth. The redhead, in the meantime was pushing as hard as she could to keep her head back. Fighting an irresistible . Just the thought of what was happening brought him the rest of the way erect. The extra inches made all the difference. Her lips met the head of his penis, and there was loud SHLOOMP sound. The vacuum cleaner noise was shut off. Total silence in the bar. Except the sound of the beer tap overflowing a mug. Everyone was looking at them. “Hey lady! Take it easy there! We just met.” He finally managed to get out. But MAN was she sucking. And sucking. He couldn’t concentrate. “Ok save some for later!” He tried to push her head back to extricate himself. But his dick was stuck! And he was coming! Oh God! Oh God! I’m in a bar full of people. I can’t! UNHHH! The suction was too much for him. He came and came and came. She was literally sucking his balls dry.

“OK I’m done now” He said. And tried to pull his dick out. No Go. Wouldn’t budge. The girl, the redhead, was looking up at him with a hopeless expression on her face. She had been trying to pull back the entire time. Her lips were sealed airtight around the base of his cock. No matter how hard she pushed on his hips, her lips would stretch but never let go. It was like she had used superglue instead of lipstick. Several of the patrons had witnessed what happened and tried to help. With two pulling on her, and two pulling on him, all they managed to do was stretch her lips even further. One gal, trying to be helpful, managed to get a finger partway between her lips and his now soft dick. There was a loud whooshing sound and another “Sloomp.” As she pulled her finger back in haste. The redhead was MMMing and snorting, but couldn’t make an intelligible sound. There was a weird uncomfortable feeling in his left ball now. He shifted his hips as if he needed to adjust something. And as he did, his left ball was suddenly sucked into her mouth. “Yearg!” It was like someone had just squeezed his balls. Then the right one did the same. “Yeaahhr!” Now the redhead looked like a chipmunk. He could see both his balls in her cheeks. If anything, he was even more stuck now. He knew from using a cockring that you couldn’t just pull his junk out. It had to be pushed back from the other side.

When the paramedics showed up they were still like that. Of course, without witnessing the events leading up to the current situation, all they saw was another couple stuck together. Probably glue again. Why do people insist on gluing themselves to one another? They just shrugged and got them ready for transport.