A) Profile Upgrade

I run through the options in my head really quickly. Option C jumps out at me, but honestly, making Binita squirm has been really fun. Option B wouldn't really do me much good right now. Option A would actually make both of the other options more useful. There's really no point in revisiting old girls or finding new ways to mess with them until I can actually attract more girls, so A is the obvious answer.

I pick A, then glance up at the professor. She's still holding her phone in a **** grip, but she's looking around the growing crowd of students filing into the lecture hall. She's looking, she's looking, there we go! She sees me and we lock eyes. There are over two hundred students in this class, so I doubt she knows my name, but she recognized me as one of her students when she saw my profile picture. If she's experiencing what Binita described, then she knows she's mine now.

I look down at my phone, but not at the app. It's 5:10, time to start the class. I smile at the teacher, hold up my phone so she can see the clock, and I tap on it. She looks around nervously at all the other students who are waiting to start.

“Um, good evening students. We, uh, last class we were talking about how the different countries of Europe welcomed the eighteenth century.”

She goes through about five minutes of the lesson before she even realizes that she's still clutching her phone tightly in her hand. It's hilarious.

I check out the app again. There has been an update to my profile. First, there's the picture. I recognize the picture as one I took last year. It's got fireworks behind me, a great smile (which you can't see is because my buddy Dave was one second away from dumping his drink on my head), and it's at an angle that make's my cheeks look a lot less chubby. I couldn't recreate the lighting in the pic in a million tries. This is literally the best picture of me ever. The bizarre thing is that I lost this picture last year when I switched phones. I'm sure I never uploaded it to the cloud or anything, but there it is.

Then I look at my bio. The bulk of it is a joke about penguins. It's funny, kinda sexually suggestive in a really subtle way, and then a little sweet. The joke is really familiar, but it takes me a minute to remember that it's one of my jokes. I told it to a girl at a party, and she laughed like crazy. I've never gotten a reaction like that to any of my other jokes, but this girl actually gave me her number. She stopped taking my calls after a couple of conversations because she's a stuck-up asshole, but still. I'd completely forgotten that joke.

The whole profile is like that. It's all me, but it's bits and pieces of the best of me. This isn't gonna make some instagram model dump her boyfriend to swipe right on me, but it's definitely a lot more appealing than what I had before.

However, there are no girls to test it on. For the moment, I've already gone through the girls in my area, even the older ladies. Glancing up at Prof. Barnes, I lower my preferred age range back down to college girls. One older woman is enough. I'll check for more girls to try this new profile on tomorrow.

Right now, I just want to get through this lecture. Prof. Barnes is droning on about something, and she looks like she's calmed down enough to be back to her old self. In other words, she's writing on the board without ever looking at the class and talking in a monotone. I have professors in their seventies who are more animated than her.

There's about twenty minutes left in the class.