17th of June

Every decision. Every decision I make seems to be wrong or right?

I did my best to avoid sleeping as long as possible. Rearranged encyclopediae, dusted off some of my old mother's lyric collections, all in the hopes of exhaustion sending me into a deep sleep unperturbed by dreams. Well, I did fall asleep out of pure exhaustion, but the dream... it was clearer once again.

"I... love... you... my image... arouse you?"

Once more, I felt gentle fingers on my manhood, hot breath in my ear, softness on my chest, explosive release... but the dream didn't end. The woman pulled back from me, but I couldn't see her clearly - and the softness on my chest remained... I looked down in confusion and...

I woke with a start and a stain in my pants. And a faint longing I can barely place - or dare to examine closer.

I was late to work after cleaning myself up and hiding my clothes from Miss Blake; cleaning my pajamas well enough to hide the strange goings-on from her was one thing, the slightly dried... matter is another. Luckily, Miss Blake has her day off today, so I did not run into her while wearing my stained clothes.

But it seems I was rather more frazzled and exhausted than I realized - I misaligned the spectrograph, dropped a sample and pushed a rack of test tubes off a table before Niles Garner, my lead lab tech, decided to send me home early with the advice to take a good, long rest.

Only... how can I do that if the dreams

I fell asleep while writing the last entry, and... I did not dream. My sleep was tranquil for once, even if it just lasted from mid day until late afternoon. Now I feel rested, and much more optimistic. I might have to consult a psychologist on what is likely a shaken mind, but... who knows, maybe the spell if finally broken. Maybe I can finally sleep in peace.