(Some time Later)

You gave up day to day leadership of the contractor company to your senior operative and his wife. You and him have been friends since childhood. You wanted to say more to them but you had nothing. “I’ll just be a board member; I know you guys will flourish without me. I trust you, take care of my baby please.” You say to Connor and his wife Paige. “What are you gonna do D?” Connor asks? “I don’t know man, I have nothing left” you respond “Come back to work man, bury yourself into our work man. We need you, it’s not the same without you and Rox.” He says as he hangs his head in shame for saying her name. You want to cry but you are out of tears and empty. Connor and Paige see this and feel helpless. Connor holds you and nothing is said, nothing needs to be said. Later on you are at home drinking and looking through your wedding album. The more you see her face the deeper you get. You get up and get your sidearm and look at it. You can feel her calling to you in your drunken addled mind. Just as you put the barrel in your mouth the doorbell rings. “Go away” you slur to the possible intruder. The doorbell keeps on ringing and as you answer it Connor bursts in and grabs the gun. “your neighbor called me after seeing you walk around with the gun drunk. You need help Damien James Newman, you can’t kill yourself. I need you, I got my little Jay and she needs her godfather.” “Connor I can’t do this anymore.” You say to him as tears run down your eyes. “You will stay with us until you get into therapy or I will commit you. I can’t have you kill yourself. Losing Rox tore part of my heart out but I can’t lose you man.” Connor says leading you out the front door.

Over the course of the next few weeks your best friend and his family take care of you. Connor even sets you up with a psychiatrist he saw for his shooting when he was in SAD. “She is good man, she helped me get stronger for Paige. She will help you if you let her.” You promise him you will give it a shot. That night you have a strange dream. You are walking along the beach but it’s not a regular beach. The surf is endless and the water is the purest of blue. The sand is silver in color and is very soft but provides a asphalt like while you are walking. The sea smells amazing and for the first time you feel a sense of peace running through you but, you begin to feel empty again because you remember walking along a beach with Rox. “I wish you were here with me now Rox” you say as you look into the sky and is surprised. Expecting to see normal beach weather you see stars and 3 moons. “What the hell 3 moons? Where am I” you wonder as something strange catches your eye. As you walk towards it and becomes clear that it is a building like structure on the entrance of a cave. Walking into the cave tentatively you see foreign fauna of which you have never seen before the area is almost gardenlike with a tall metal pillar in the middle.

You feel yourself being pulled towards it and as you get close to it you see words written that you can’t read. [Touch It Damien] a voice whispers into your ear but when you turn there is no one there. Becoming scared you run down the tunnel that brought you in but it leads you back to the pillar. You see branching paths from the center room but each time you go it leads you back. Finally, you give up and the voice whispers again [ You are here because you are slowly drifting away from everything. The pain will not end but you can redirect it. Touch the pillar Damien. It is why you are here.] For some ungodly reason you trust the voice and take the leap. Touching the pillar, it awakens something deep in the cave. The voice speaks to you again, whispering into your ear like a lover. [the pain will make you stronger beyond you could ever know but it carries something terrible in comparison to what you have known. Take the fourth most path and find what lies at the end Damien.] you hear the earth shifting as a new passage opens up before you. As you enter it you are shrouded in complete darkness.

[do you wish to see what is before you or will you trust in your future?] the voice asks patiently waiting on your answer.

“I want to see” you shout in the darkness,

[I want something in return. There is nothing free in this world or the next] the voice says.

“what do you want” you reply back

[I want your compassion and passion Damien] the voice responds.

“What? Why?” you ask confused

[that is for me to know and you to possibly find out later….if you are strong enough] the voice responds

You consider what the voice asks of and because you have nothing to live for you give it away. Slowly the hall begins to glow but you see the ground isn’t solid you are walking literally in space but you do not fall. Taking a tentative step, you find your “ground” is solid and you continue forward. As you come to the end you see a chamber lit by a weird light and when you take a closer look it looks like a star in the sky but is brighter and purple in color. [that is a Quasar Damien] the voice responds as if it can read your mind [I can read your mind Damien] it chuckles. Inside the room there are 3 pulsars lined up side by side and a coffin like case in front of it.

[Turn around Damien] the voice whispers to you and when you do nothing is there. Hearing giggling you turn back to the coffin and you see a young woman kneeling in front of it.