(Non canon)Strategic Rear Advance

Life on the run is never an enjoyable experience. You’ve just pulled off the road outside Waukesha, the stolen RV still running. You need to piss like a racehorse.

Following waking up to what you can only think of as a warning (he could have just as easily killed you), you hightailed it tge hell out of town, stealing a Winnebago in Lake Nebagamon and shooting East in Eau Claire. The girls met up with you in Minong. Tammy, Beth and Chrissy. While you were waiting for them you completely burnt the Ryan Morningstar identity, and used The Stranger on everyone you knew at the Androy and Builders. You also caught the news report of the Goat Hill apartment going up in flames shortly before the girls arrived. Someone was cleaning up loose ends.

All of them, it seemed, as you weren’t 10 miles from Thorp before you saw the bikers on your six. Even from 100 yards, the Vincent was recognizable. They followed you through Stevens Point and then south toward the Illinois state line.

You were more than happy to lead. You’d chosen the spot to make your stand. You only hoped that the story was true.

As you continue down the now dirt Mystic Drive, the trees start to thicken on either side of the path. You can hear the engines behind you, but they’ll have a hell of a time following on the lunar surface that you’re traveling. Up ahead you see a dead end.

You’re waiting for them when they get there. Three bikes and a pretty ostentatious Hummer. Your girls are standing behind you. It’s now or never.

He gets out of the Hummer as the bikers take up an honor guard formation. He’s not wearing any makeup this time and you can clearly see the resemblance. With him is a woman of about your age, with the same poker straight brown hair and lithe figure that you share with the twins. It strikes you that you’ve discovered your final sibling.

“You’ve lead me on quite the chase mladshiy.” The Russian accent is only barely detectable. “Now it’s over though. I’m glad you’ve chosen to make a stand rather than embarrassing both of us.”

“This has to end.” You look into your father’s eyes and pray to Eris or possibly your hack author that you’ve made the right decision.

He nods, and with an almost sad expression pulls a Desert Eagle from the inside of his long coat. “I was going to make it slow for you. But this is for the best. Have any last words?”

Moment of truth.

You shout at the top of your lungs two very specific words that are only used in very specialized circumstances. “Hey Rube!”

He just shakes his head. “I cannot kill my only surviving son.”

He turns around to get back into the Hummer then hands the gun to the woman. “Kimberly? Kill my only surviving son.” He gets into the vehicle.

Kimberly... your twin... levels the barrel of the hand cannon at you. Then two things happen at the same time.

A shotgun blast peppers the tailgate of the Hummer which immediately takes off back down the road. About a dozen little people burst from the underbrush and disable your assailants.

From the side of the RV walks a sight almost as terrifying as your father in full makeup. A giant albino hobo with a shotgun. One of the little people looks up from delivering what’s probably the 15th kick to the groin of one of the bikers and grins fiercely at you. “Welcome to Haunchyville, Highpockets.”

(AN: ok. So we made it this far. I’d like to do a sort of in-character wrap up for the act. I’m soliciting questions that you the reader would like to ask the characters. Any of them. They’ll respond in a full AMA (ask me anything) style chapter. Send em to me in comments or direct messages. After that I’ll write up a full recap and we’ll plow right on into act II. Thanks for staying with me this far.

~W)