'Get Off !'

Debbi recognized the backing track for her 'dancin' in my knickers' rap which had started to blare out. The festival stage manager pushed her forward. Debbi's appearance was initially greeted by wolf whistles and some mild cheers from the crowd, pleased that at last something appeared to be happening on stage. But when she began nervously to intone the lyrics, these quickly changed to catcalls, boos and cries of 'get off' and chants of 'we want Dolla', along with the predictable encouragement to 'show us your tits'. Because unlike Debbi's previous audiences, this crowd was not there for tits and ass but primarily for the music. And Debbi's nervousness was not doing anything to help the quality of her performance, which before today had been improving.

It had been agreed that Debbi's appearance would be brief, consisting of song, instrumental break and just the one reprise of the song. At least she did not feel hidebound to conform to Jody's choreography for the instrumental break and she just continued to dance woodenly, keeping away from the front of the stage which was now being showered with plastic bottles thrown by the rowdier elements in the crowd.

So it was with great relief that Debbi heard her backing track begin to fade and segue into Aaron Copland's 'Fanfare For The Common Man' as the stage lights went down. She scampered offstage, treating the big screen to a final glimpse, for now anyway, of her thong clad bum.

The crowd went wild as DollaXL made his big entrance, backlit by blinding white spots and sporting a red velvet cape. Debbi hovered to the side of the stage among 'Dolla's Bitches'. The Bitches were also scantily clad but what they were wearing at least had the appearance of being properly made and fitted stage costumes and so seemed much more in keeping with the setting than the everyday Victoria's Secrets underwear that Debbi had on. "What do I do ?" she hissed at Saffron, Dolla's UK agent, as the girls began to file onstage behind their star. "Just follow the lead of the rest of the Bitches, they'll make sure you're ok" Saffron replied !