"You can't keep distracting me!"

“No, seriously, why are we here? You can’t keep distracting me!”

“In a minute,” you say to Meg. Pippa, in a panic, was able to think of nothing to do but sprint away from Lottie as fast as possible. Doors opened as she sprinted squealing through the halls, heads poking out to see what all the fuss was about. Eventually she tried to climb out a window, and found herself trapped on a balcony four stories above bustling Piccadilly, in full view of the crowds below.

It was a long wait before a window cleaner came along with his ladder to rescue her. After a long, slow climb down, poor naked Pippa found herself trapped out the front of the building, with no alternative but to march straight into the lobby with nothing but her hands for protection and politely request a new room key. Tragically, Lottie was there waiting for her, along with a flying squad of tabloid paparazzi who’d dropped by on the mistaken impression that the Queen would be making an appearance.

Which brings you to the current moment.

“EEEEEEEEEEK!” Pippa’s squirming, nude on the marble floor under the chandelier, hands clapped across her naughty bits as twenty cameras flash and her worst enemy in the entire world points and laughs hysterically. The dozens of other guests in the lobby seem to be enjoying themselves, as well.