Turn the documentary on and sit back, arms crossed.

The documentary opens with a shot of the king sitting regally on his throne, wearing a furred red cape and a polished and bejewelled gold crown. There's a woman, dressed in more simple old-timey clothes (blue overalls over a white shirt with poofy shoulders), approaching him along a long red carpet from the grand double-door entrance. They both look like they're in their late twenties, and also like humans, which is weird but you'll go with it for now. The camera slowly pulls in, and transitions to a modern cinematic recreation of historical events.

"Oh, hey Samantha." The king lifts his hand as the woman struts down the carpet towards his throne purposefully.

"Hey." Samantha waves back, then stops and jolts her hand down angrily. "No, wait! Stop being friendly, I'm here to talk!"

"Okay."

"I'm really mad at you!"

"Oh. I'm sorry. What did I do?"

Samantha huffs and folds her arms, glaring up her nose at him. "You said that us peasants were dirty!"

"Mmh."

Samantha waits for more, then exasperatedly throws her hands down.

"That's not okay to do, Peter!"

King Peter scrunches his face in confusion. "But... I wasn't doing it to be mean. You guys are sorta dirty, and that can give you diseases. I only said it because I was making soap and clean water freely accessible. So that people get given less diseases."

"Still!" Samantha lifts her finger and points at him dramatically, other hand going to her hip. "The gesture was nice, but you really need to work on your phrasing! Don't you have royal advisors or anything? Are you writing all of your own speeches without any help?"

King Peter nods. Samantha sighs outwardly.

"Alright, look. That's fine. The soap and clean water was.... nice, or whatever. That's not really what I'm here for."

"Oh, alright. Can I be friendly again for this one?"

"Not yet!" Samantha raises her pointer finger again. "If you really don't have any advisors, then I guess it really is up to me to say this after all -- you've got to get yourself some heirs, guy!"

King Peter rubs the top of his head in confusion. It is full of thick and well-washed hair.

"You're, like, the only person in this whole palace! Isn't it lonely? All you've got are dukes and duchesses, barons and baronesses, and they're all in their own places doing their own things. They're not even related to you, you just promoted good prominent leaders in each town!"

"I'm supposed to make them related to me? How does that work?"

"No, you stupid- rragh!" Samantha throws her arms down in anger again. "You can't just- you're supposed to have children, and they'll be related to you, not turn other people into relatives!"

"But my children would be quite young, wouldn't they? And what if they aren't good at leading? Or if they want to do something else? We've got a whole extra island with like no infrastructure right now. There's room for people in every career path that exists at the moment. Besides, who would I even make children with?"

Samantha scrunches up her face, and brings a hand to pinch her nose.

"You... okay, lis- alright." She says. "Look. You've got to have kids. I've told you a million times before, 'royal family' is not metaphorical, dude. Don't make me get mean, because I'll do it, I really will."

She glares at him in silence for a while, while he looks back sheepishly, both waiting for the other to say something. After a short time, King Peter opens his mouth, but before he can say anything Samantha grunts angrily and grabs him by the wrist, dragging him off the throne and away to a different room.