"Robot Rain Fog" with my coworker, Akari

Peeking out of the corner of my eye, I still couldn't glean everything I needed to know. I couldn't read the text and focus on the road at the same time-- at least not in this heavy rain, all the time worrying that I was going to hit a naked lady hitchhiker. All I could make out was the same pink rain from earlier, paired with a light blue robot face and a little fog warning symbol of rising clouds. What sort of freakish weather was I in for? I remembered that the so-called "Slut Showers" were supposed to last until 2:00 PM and we had a long time to go until we reached that time. The roads were heavily stalled as motorists either ended up stuck behind people who'd gotten out of their cars, got hit by rain, and started fucking, or else, had rolled down their windows to check what was happening... gotten rained on... and then also turned into slaves to sex.

It surprised me to see this wasn't resulting in massive numbers of crashes and pedestrian injuries, but thankfully "mating behaviors" seemed to extend to "ensure that my life is prolonged so that I may mate." That meant that some people were proving uncannily capable of dodging cars or even driving them while getting a blowjob. It was twisted, but it was also a little funny.

At any rate, I just had to be thankful Akari had managed to avoid the rain. Having sex with a DMV driving examiner I'll never meet again was one thing, but if it had been Akari sucking me off, it'd make things very complicated past this point, once things got back to normal.

Thankfully, we'd ended up on a side-road looking at the interstate before we actually got on the interstate, which told us what we needed to know: the interstate was a bad idea, to be avoided at all costs unless we wanted to join the orgy. We needed to get as far away from main roads as we could until this rain let up.

Akari and I both jumped as the incoming call sound came in over the hands-free audio, blasting all around us, I prefer to talk without the hands-free option, but Akari is the only one of the two of us who knows how to turn it off... which means it's usually left on. Akari scrambled for the volume controls and turned it down. "You always leave it way too loud! Is that the only way you can hear it? You're so old!" she complained, now just as loud as the audio system she just brought under control.

I held my ground. "That's why I don't like the hands free... The radio is so much quieter... It's hard to balance the difference-"

She ignored my whining and tapped the answer button on screen. "Hey, it's the chief! We better answer it. Chief, what's up?"

I grimaced. The chief. She and I... didn't really get along. I see the news station as just a place to work and live out my days comfortably. She's the kind of person who, even though she's about my same age, still hasn't stopped ladder-climbing. She finds my lack of ambition and drive aggravating, I think. The funny part is that I think she's just as lazy as I am, she's just annoyed that I don't bother covering it up, so it makes her look bad as my direct superior.

But I digress. My point is that a call from the chief, especially on a day you've called out of work, is never a good thing.

"Kenzo! Where are you and Akari? I've got nobody on weather right now!" her voice came loud through the speakers.

"Chief... we both called out. You should have put someone else on it," I told her in a mild but matter-of-fact way.

"Don't take that tone with me!" she snapped back, as though I'd raised my voice first. "Do you know what's happening out there today?! Ordinarily, I can just bump off weather if there's nothing interesting. Today is interesting! Today is the mother of all weather reporting days and I have zero qualified weather reporters in the station!"

"... That isn't my fault. I took the day off. I put in papers and everything. You signed them for both of us."

"That's not gonna cut it, Kenzo! God, you're being selfish. Where are you? At home playing video games?"

"I was at the DMV..."

"Well... Well fine! That's a pretty good reason to take a day off. But not today! Forget whatever you're doing now, I need you and Akari both on this! This isn't just the weather of a lifetime, of all history! Rain showers are being connected directly to strange behaviors people are comparing to hypnosis and I've got nobody reporting on it outside the station!"

"Good..."

"Good?!" the chief spat back, dumbfounded.

"Keep everyone out of the rain. It's, um, not safe." It was actually perfectly safe in most ways, but it wasn't something I want most of my coworkers subjected to. I pulled over to focus on my conversation with the chief, now that I'd gotten a safe distance from other people. "We don't have any camera equipment or anything and it's impossible to make it to the office right now. We can't help, I'm sorry."

"Then use your phone, at least, dumbass! Send me something! As long as you can get me some kind of footage, I can put it on a loop with a news ticker, at least! Can you go above and beyond for once in your damn life?!"

"Yes ma'am. But... the effects are not the kind of thing you can put right onto television without a pass through an editing room. I don't know if a mosaic blur is going to be enough either."

"Then I need it even moooore! Come on, Kenzo! Do this today and I'll give you three fucking days off in a row, all on days when it's not goddamned hypnosis rain!"

"Slut showers-" I started to say, but she scoffed with laughter.

"Hey, you don't have to name it. Just get me the video. Alright?"

"Okay. By the way, Akari is here with me too."

"Hi, Akari, sweetie."

"Hey Chief!"

... The chief and Akari got along pretty well, it seemed. When I hung up, I saw Akari grinning, getting her own phone ready. "You heard the chief. Let's film some amateur pornography!"

"No, Akari. We're not doing that just because the chief told us to. If we find someone who isn't stark naked, fully penetrating another person, then okay, we can film them. Until then, don't- hey stop that!" I whined, trying to push her phone down so she'd quit zooming in on a porch in the distance where an older woman was getting it doggy style from a handsome young man that I certainly hoped was not related to her. It was a little hard to see, actually. It seemed like a fog was forming as the rain continued to fall.

"Okay, but in return, you tell me what the heck's happening here. You know more than you've told me. 'Slut showers?' You didn't come up with that! Was it something from that weird app on your phone? And why is your phone still getting calls and things anyway, if it's dead and the screen's gone black. And why.... why..." Akari had been going a mile a minute with the questions, but suddenly, the energy seemed to fade from her eyes and she stopped speaking. It reminded me of Rachel the moment after she got out of the car.

I panicked. Had she been rained on? I thought the umbrella had managed to catch it all, but was she about to transform into a sex-crazed lunatic the way the driving exam lady had when she tried to make me bone her in the car? Just as I was trying to think of what to do, the darn phone blasted through the hands-free again. "Pick up. H-hello?" I stammered, wondering if the chief had picked an especially bad time for a follow-up.

"How you been, daddy? This is your slut calling."

It wasn't the chief's voice. It was Rachel's! I put it together: I'd put my phone number on the paperwork I gave the DMV. But why was she seeking me out instead of just getting busy with somebody in the building with her?

"You get that skinny ass of yours back here to the DMV while I'm still horny. I know you want it. I saw the way you looked at my tits... They got you real fucking hard, and you never even got a chance to touch them. They're yours. Come back and motorboat them, fuck them, whatever you wanna do with them. You like my ass too, right? It's waiting... I'll let you try anal for the first time. I know a guy like you's never done it before. Or hey, how about I just use my mouth again, like I did in the car? It's okay, some guys just like blowjobs. I'll give you as many as you want and I'll do the sack this time, too-"

"E-End call!"

I was freaking out. I clenched my teeth in nervousness and looked over at Akari to see how she was reacting to the news that I got my dick sucked by the driving instructor. Would she cackle and tease me about it? Would she want to give me a high five for scoring with such a girl so far out of my league? Would she get sick and complain about that gross mental image? Or, I dared to ask myself, would she look a little jealous?

None of the above. She was staring forward at the windshield wipers, like she was hypnotized by them. The expression on her face was somewhere between asleep and awake. I couldn't explain it... I hadn't seen the Slut Showers do this to anybody up to this point. Confused, I picked up my phone and reopened the Weird Weather App.

"An update to today's forecast: Slut Showers will continue through 2:00 PM, but will be joined be a Robot Rain Fog. Robot Rain Fog will begin at 10:45 am. Robot Rain Fog acts in the same area as Slut Showers and is expected to affect those not already affected by the Showers. Those who breathe in the fog will experience: A trance-like state, during which they will be able to do nothing besides defending the basic functions needed to keep themselves out of physical harm. The holder of this app is immune to the fog and, additionally, may control the affected either by clapping his hands or saying the word 'Activate.' Either will activate all affected in audible range. Once the affected is activated, they will respond to all verbal commands without questioning. The original personality of the affected will be restored after weather's cease and they will have no memory of what happened during the time. One affected by Robot Rain Fog cannot be affected by Slut Showers at the same time.

Weird Weather's Tip: Uh oh! Staying in your car won't stop the Robot Rain Fog! The car's ventilation sucks that stuff right in. Now's the time to enjoy everyone's unaware time with zero consequences! I'm sure there's a few things you've wanted to see them do for you, right?"

---

Needless to say, I wasn't planning to reprogram Akari to do anything unscrupulous... at this point, anyway. I had two objectives: first, to find a remote place to shelter until 2:00 pm that would protect Akari from being advanced on by any rain-crazy lunatics. Second, if the moment permitted: video some real evidence of the slut showers for the chief, hopefully something that could be used without getting us sued by the videoed parties later in the same day.

... If I was going to do that, the interstate was the better option. My two objectives conflicted, so I chose the one that would protect Akari. I needed somewhere remote to shelter.

I couldn't just break into somebody's house, so I needed a business, but one with almost no foot traffic. Again, contradictory. I needed a place that you could go inside but that almost nobody does. Somewhere without much staff working there either.

After a while driving, I found what I thought to be the perfect place. Along a dirt road, a driveway split off, leading up to a sort of cozy, small-sized cabin with a big "OPEN" sigh that was the only way to tell it was a business of any kind. There was a sign as I got closer reading "Luna's". Was it some sort of local eatery? There was no telling until I went inside.

Speaking of which, I needed to get inside... I could probably have lifted Akari and carried her, but not very comfortably, and I'd be slowing myself down in the rain too. I decided it was the right moment to test the effects. "Akari... Activate!" Shouting that made me feel like a character from the action cartoons I watched when I was younger.

It worked, though. She seemed to perk back up, lifting her head and opening her eyes to their usual level. When she didn't wisecrack or say anything at all, I knew for sure these were the effects of the Robot Rain Fog.

But I wanted to test one more thing.

I held up to record, then cleared my throat... it felt odd broadcasting like these strange events were just part of my usual weather report, but I had years of experience talking to a camera, so I wasn't totally uncomfortable. "Hello everyone. This is Kenzo Kobiyashi. I'm reporting on the strange and unusual weather that's moving across our city. I'm joined by my coworker, Akari, who you will note is... completely zoned out. This is the effects of a phenomenon that we will hereby refer to as 'Robot Rain Fog...'"

I went on to explain all its effects. I probably sounded even more insane than I otherwise would, since I omitted the part about the app. I didn't want everyone know that I, the holder of this app, seemed to have unusual privileges associated with it. Of course, they'd probably figure out something was amiss by the fact that nothing was happening to me...

"I will now demonstrate that Akari is under its effects. She will respond completely to any of my commands. Ahem... Akari. Blow a raspberry with your lips."

"Pbbbbbft-" she spat, shooting a little spit as she blew a very rude, very enthusiastic raspberry on demand.

"... Wait, that's something she does all the time anyway. Akari, say 'Sorry for messing with all of the controls on your dashboard, Kenzo.'"

"Sorry for messing with all of the controls on your dashboard, Kenzo.'" Her delivery was totally deadpan. If anything, it matched the exact inflection I requested. It was pretty off-putting.

"... Say it a little more like it's actually Akari saying it, but like she actually regrets it."

She blinked for a moment, then suddenly averted her eyes and pouted. "Okay, geez... I'm sorry I always mess with your dashboard. I just think I know what's best for you and like... you don't even know how to use your car, dude! I want you to listen to cool music and stuff. You can get so gloomy when you get into your own head like that and I worry about you. I wanted to liven up your ride a little."

I felt my heart thumping a bit. That was so convincing! Wait. Was that just what I wanted Akari to say, or was that how she really felt? I couldn't tell...

But there was a way to test. "Akari, describe my looks to me. Please answer in-character, like you're Akari."

"I think you look like you're fifty even though I know you're around forty. A weird thing is it's like... your hair never grows? Like it's the exact same length since the day I met you. Do you visit a barber every day? It's really freaky, especially cause it's not a good haircut in the first place! You look like the caricature of a Japanese business-man. Your mouth is too low down on your face. The way your eyes squint up when you're looking at a girl's boobs is suuuper gross and it's really obvious cause your glasses make your eyes look big. Your shirts don't fit you that well, you don't tie your ties exactly right, and your shoes are all scuffed up and muddy cause you never replace them or clean them. You don't shave often enough, so sometimes you get this gross five o clock shadow. I can't believe you go on TV like that! You notice none of the other guys in the office let it go like that, right?"

I had unknowingly signed up for the roast of Kenzo Kobiyashi. I couldn't believe I was recording all of this and uploading it to the cloud. I wanted the memory of it extracted from my head and destroyed. "That's quite enough." I was feeling a little vengeful now, even though she'd just done exactly what I'd ordered. "Akari, tell me an embarrassing secret about yourself. Something you think about all the time when you're with me but never say out loud. In-character, please."

"Huh? Oh, uh... I have, you know..." she began, then looked to the side, doing a great job of acting like Akari trying to withhold a secret from me. She mumbled something quickly and quietly.

"Repeat, please." I brought the phone in closer and held it near her mouth while turning my ear towards her.

"I think I have daddy issues and that's part of why I hang out with you, I guess." She winced hard, like it was gross for her to talk about. It probably was. I felt bad for forcing it out of her.

Also, this was the second time I'd been referred to as a "daddy" of some kind today, strangely. As a reminder, I was divorced with no children. "... Elaborate on that point. What do you mean by 'daddy issues?' Like you... see me as a father figure?"

She pouted to continue the realistic impersonation, becoming a little red around the cheeks. "That's not it, really... like, you know how you have porn of women younger than you on your phone? Like college girls?"

"I, uh, don't know what you're talking about," I responded, hoping that she was making an educated guess and hadn't looked at my phone's browser history, nor the downloads I didn't know how to delete.

"Well, I'm always looking at stuff too with kinda, you know, ugly-to-average looking older guys having sex with twenty-something girls. So there's some part of me that thinks I'm hanging out with you hoping you'll, you know, get drunk at a party... or invite me over to your apartment one day without thinking about it cause you're so socially dense... or-"

"Akari stop." I made the request urgently and she stopped immediately, turning back to her robotic state. I'd just heard something I wasn't meant to hear, that much was clear... it was going to be hard to treat Akari the same way after things resumed normalcy. I wondered if maybe I should try to stop hanging around her so often... it sounded like I'm feeding a kink that's going to look bad for both of us if it's ever acted upon.

Either way, I was definitely going to have to edit most of that out before sending this to the chief. I'd rather broadcast a whole orgy than let people hear that interview just now. Unfortunately, Akari's the one who knows how to edit video on my phone, not me. I commanded her to do it for me. Then, I commanded her to finally follow me into Luna's.

---

The inside of the place made it seem like a personally owned thrift store of sorts, where the owner tries to sell all kinds of trinkets and curiosities that've piled up over the years. Some of those had been there a lot of years, clearly-- I spotted a lot of tie-dye and other relics from the hippy days. You'll be happy to know that the store's choice of stock translated to as few customers as I was hoping to encounter, which made it a great hideout for the time being.

I did discover one other figure in the store with us. There was one woman-- a blond who seemed too young for all this stuff, but dressed to fit the store regardless. Maybe she just had a passion for flower power, even out of era? She was pretty enough, with bright blue eyes and an extremely long tie-dye t-shirt over bell-bottom jeans. Like with Akari, her overall figure was pretty slender, but she was a good bit taller. I had to assume this was Luna.

Whatever her story, I'd have to activate it if I wanted it out of her, because she was conked out just the same way Akari had been earlier. She'd been lucky enough to stay inside and avoid the showers, but the rain fog came inside her little love shack and got her anyway, turning her into little more than a piece of the scenery, waiting for reprogramming. Actually, she wasn't in a particularly comfortable looking position... her body was bent at a slight angle, as though she'd been fishing for something below the counter.

I couldn't help thinking about how that position was begging someone to go behind her paralyzed form, wrap their arms around her waist, and take advantage of the way her butt was stuck bending out behind her, but again, I wasn't quite so far gone that I'd act on such an impulse.

Although, if I wanted to... it's not like anyone could have really seen or stopped me.

I shook my head and refocused on what was important: using this time to send the chief something that would help convince her not to castrate me for poor employee performance. "Alright, another command, something Akari wouldn't ordinarily do. Akari: tell me how you feel about tie-dye clothing," I requested, as Akari stared forward, expressionless, at the front of the store.

"Don't like it. Tacky."

I nodded, while continuing to film with my phone. "Great. Now, Akari: I want you to redress-- out of my line of sight-- into only tie-dye clothing, then return and model it for me."

Unsurprisingly, she complied, walking into the back past a curtain of beads and presumably checking through the inventory for something that would fit the bill. I stood awkwardly in silence, surrounded by the vaguely dusty smell of a lifetime of unsold tapestries, blankets, sweaters, and tees, and I reflected that this would be a great place to take a nap, especially with the rain, if circumstances were a bit different.

I was just beginning to wonder if purchasing an eye-scorching orange-and-green rug would be a good way to repay Luna for misusing her store this way when I saw the beads parting, pushed aside by Akari's hand. I raised the camera to begin recording again, though I'll confess, Akari always told me I take pictures and video like I don't know how to hold a phone.

Fiddling with my phone distracted me for long enough to allow Akari to start striking poses. If I'd noticed what she was wearing, I'd probably have stopped her before she could begin. Thanks to my rather unspecific request, Akari had indeed undressed and re-dressed in only tie-dye clothing, but I hadn't clarified which clothing, nor how much of it I wanted. As such, she'd lost her hoodie, shorts, tennis shoes, socks, and whatever else she had on for a tie-dye swimsuit in garish orange, blue, green, and pink swirls that she wouldn't be caught dead wearing without being instructed.

Sorry, I admit, I made the mistake of omitting important details again. This was a men's swimsuit, meaning that Akari was topless. It wasn't as impactful as it might have been, since modeling the shorts apparently meant drawing attention there instead of to her chest. One arm was crossed over her upper body to censor herself while she stuck out one leg in a ridiculous pose, matching her ridiculous stage of dress.

I tried to focus on the ridiculousness of the whole situation in order to stop blood from rushing to my boner. This situation where my trendy, female coworker is topless and under my complete control, unable to stop herself from turning and shimmying her hips in my direction, was ridiculous, not erotic.

It did feel sort of wrong, so I course-corrected... in the wrong direction. "Akari... act like Akari while you do this."

She smiled back at me, flipping her black bob-cut so that it fell just right, then got onto her knees, pinching the sides of her shorts like she was planning to lose them. "This is so stupid. This is what you're into, Kenzo? Does regular porn not do it any more? You're into this kind of stuff?" she teased me, looking a little flushed. It seemed like she was enjoying herself...

Now I really was hard. "If you think wearing the trunks is stupid... then take them off."

Akari bit her lip and lowered her eyebrows, wiggling the trunks just a bit further down so I could begin to see the cleft between her buttocks. "That's not a command, Kenzo. If you really want me to, use one of those freaky robot commands~"

"Akari, take off-"

I practically jumped out of my own clothes as I suddenly heard my phone go off with another call. It was the chief again. It was as though she had a supernatural sixth sense for ruining my day. I cleared my throat and answered the call. "Chief?"

"What are you doing?" Her voice was so terse and accusatory from the get-go, it was like she was watching my shenanigans somehow.

"I'm... Okay, so it's hard to explain, but there's a robot rain fog spreading as a byproduct of the slut showers and-"

"Kenzo, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"There is a fog spreading across the city that turns people around me into robots I can program to do anything, accompanying a rain that turns people into shameless, sex-crazed lunatics. Akari has been affected by the fog and I'm er... attempting to take a suitable video to send to you to show that the effects of the fog are real. She's safe from the rain, don't worry."

"Kenzo."

"Chief?"

"How the hell is it going to prove anything if you take video of one of our reporters? God damn, you're an idiot."

"..."

"If Akari was the one who'd avoided getting hypnotized by the stupid fog, she definitely would have realized that from the get-go."

I could picture her rubbing her temples in frustration. I stayed quiet.

"I've got two new job assignments for you. One: don't do anything freaky to Akari, she's your co-worker, that's sexual harassment in the workplace and is a very thorny business, a lawsuit that you barely skirt by every day you openly stare at my tits. Two: find someone who's not on our payroll whose behavior can prove the effects of that weather. Okay?"

"Yes ma'am." I set the phone down, then groaned loudly.

"You didn't hang up, dumbass."

I hung up. When I looked up, I realized Akari had finished pulling off the shorts and was currently using them like a curtain, pinched between two fingers to hide the spot between her legs. "Ah dammit. Akari, stop."

She froze with the curtain at a bad angle, so I respectfully moved to the right so the curtain would be in a protective position for her. If Akari was off the table and the chief still expected me to get the video, I needed to find someone else to record. At least between the fog and the rain, with only about two hours before both let up, I knew what to expect going forward...

It was past lunch time, so I placed ten dollars on the counter beneath Luna's hand so that she'd be properly paid, then went into her kitchen to prepare lunch. No use working on an empty stomach. Lunch was the one part of the day that made my job bearable... I fixed a peanut butter sandwich. Pretty expensive peanut butter sandwich, but I also felt a little bad for using her shop (which I now recognized doubled as her home) this way.

I sat down at the single chair in her kitchen and pushed aside a pile of newspapers and magazines on her table, all mysteriously opened to subjects like astronomy, horoscopes, or even tarot readings. I started to wonder if she was running a fortune telling business on the side... Then, I checked my phone, intending to scroll through social media and see if anyone was talking about the strange occurrences.

Instead, I found the Weird Weather app was still open and yet another new notification was flashing on screen...