"I can't."

“I’m sorry, Tey.” Just saying the words opened a floodgate of grief. “I’m sorry! I, I, I...”

She trailed off, and the cave was silent, but for her sobs.

By degrees, she regained control of herself and looked into Teysa’s eyes. What she saw there chilled her. Rage, she could have lived with. In some ways it would have been easier. This was worse: defeat, utter and abject misery.

“I can’t do it.” Once the words were out, somehow, it became easier to go on. “Whenever I look at you, Tey, I see... I see her. The Matron. I think about how it felt. You know. When she took us. Kidnapped us. **** us. I wish it wasn’t this way. But if I stay, what kind of life will I have here? I’m the only broodmother left. They won’t take no for an answer forever. And you can’t protect me, can you?”

Teysa’s silence was all the answer she needed.

"I'm sorry," Aliara repeated. "This isn't my place anymore. I'll never-- I'll never..." she could feel her self-control dissolving. She fought desperately to hang on. If I hesitate I am lost. "That woman, Teysa... she taught me to love again. To trust again. I will never forget her, never. I hope you can find her."

Teysa nodded once, slowly. "I understand," she said, her voice thick. It had never sounded as inhuman as it did at that moment. "I will not stop you. But before you leave..." she swallowed. "A kiss? One last kiss, to remember you by?"

Aliara searched the drider's expression for some hint of subterfuge and found nothing, nothing but pain and sorrow. She stepped forward and tilted her head up. Teysa leaned down and closed her eyes, and her stony grey lips found Aliara's.

There was no passion in the kiss, only desperation. Teysa's hand clutched at Aliara's back and she felt five tiny pinpricks against her skin. The drider's lips tasted odd, spicy-sweet, and her canines were sharp enough to draw blood. Despite the fact that she towered over Aliara more than ever, there was no strength in her limbs. The two of them remained locked for almost a minute, neither willing to be the first to withdraw. By the time the kiss ended, Aliara tasted salt on her lips. This is it, she told herself. There is no turning back.

She gently extricated herself from Teysa's arms and stepped backwards. Teysa didn't appear to notice at first. Her eyes were closed, her arms cradled to her chest, her mouth slightly open. She looked like a statue, one of the Mourning Mothers that lined the Plaza of Broken Souls in the City of the drow. She did not move or open her eyes as Aliara retrieved her bag, but when the half-elf turned for the door, Teysa spoke behind her.

"Goodbye, Aliara." Her voice was a whisper on the edge of hearing. Aliara hesitated. I cannot look back, she told herself. I cannot.

"Goodbye," she said, without turning. She slung her pack over her shoulder and left.