Aliara has found no peace.

It was a stupid fight. She knew it was stupid, and worse, she knew it was her fault. But she couldn't stop herself.

"I'm not the one who 'lost' the Moonsilver Mirror!" Aliara snapped. "After everything we went through to get that, you let it be stolen off you by some two-bit pickpocket? Did your mother have any children who lived?"

"I don't have to take this from you!" Vizzi shouted back. She was as tall as Teysa had been and broad of shoulder, but that was where the similarities ended. Her tongue was as quick and sharp as her blade and her temper was shorter than her thick, coal-black hair. "You're the one who said we needed to keep the Mirror on us instead of selling it! And you gave away half the bounty from slaying Samoved to those shitty kids!"

"They weren't shitty kids, Viz, they were orphans! Samoved burnt their village to the ground! And the Mirror, I, I... I thought we could get a better price for it in Durbistan!"

"Don't lie to me, you little cunt!" Vizzi shouted. "You didn't want to sell it all! You wanted to hire someone to scry through it!" Her face twisted with contempt. "You wanted to scry on your _ex, _didn't you? Gods, you're pathetic!"

"I don't even know why I told you about her!" Aliara could feel tears welling up behind her eyes and **** them back down. She could already sense that this fight was tipping past the point of no return, but she didn't care. "At least she never cheated on me! You fucked that bartender in Torren, didn't you?"

Vizzi, at least, had the good grace not to bother denying it.

"So what if I did?" she asked, planting her hands on her hips and cocking her head. "He was a gentleman. And sometimes a girl wants a bed-warmer who doesn't just lay around crying all the time. You're such a sad-sack! I don't know what I ever saw in you!"

Now the tears came, and there was nothing Aliara could do to stop them. "Get out!" she shrieked, her voice cracking. "Out, out, out! I never want to see you again!"

"You never will!" Vizzi yelled back. She swept her arm across their table, scooping odds and ends into her leather satchel. "I'm taking my share of the Samoved money and I'm gone! Find someone else to work your issues out on, you crazy half-breed!"

She slammed the door behind her and stomped all the way down the stairs. Aliara sank down into the straw mattress that they had, until just now, shared, and covered her face with her hands.

It had all gone wrong. Again.

Vizzi had lasted three months, and she was the longest. Aliara lay back on the bed and let the sounds of the city wash over her. She was paid up in this room for another week, but after that little display, she was pretty sure the innkeeper would politely ask her to move on. She thought she could handle him-- at least long enough to find a new place to stay-- but what then? She wasn't exactly hurting for money. Whatever Vizzi had said, they had made more than enough from slaying the drake Samoved to be financially secure for the foreseeable future. But what did that future hold? She'd find another partner, probably. Maybe another lover. And then what? Whoever it was-- man or woman, human or half-orc or dwarf-- they wouldn't be Teysa. And there'd be a little fight, and then a bigger one, and then everything would tumble down all over again.

Find someone else to work your issues out on. Well, she probably would. But the issues wouldn't go away. They never did. From the moment Aliara woke up in the morning to the moment she stumbled (drunkenly, more often than not) into bed, guilt clung to her like a shroud. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Teysa's face, as still and grey as a statue's. Once, in a drunken rage, she'd attacked the weeping stone angel atop the fountain in Triell. That had earned her a quick expulsion from the town and a thoroughly deserved dressing-down from Vizzi. And now she was gone, and Aliara was alone. Again. She sat up and looked at the fat coin pouch Vizzi had left behind, then stared thoughtfully out the window.

By sunset, she'd already worked her way mostly through a bottle of elven red. Every time the bartender tried to take it away, her arm shot out lightning-quick and slapped his hand. Other drinkers came and went, but she sat in the middle of a gathering cloud of gloom and stared down at her glass.

Full, empty. Full, empty. The hubbub of the bar faded into a dull background roar. She only gradually became aware of the presence at her elbow. She turned and looked into a familiar smile.

"Teysha?"

The bartender watched the drunken half-elf with some concern. He'd seen her in here before, usually in the company of a black-haired swordswoman, but now she was alone. Or, not quite alone: one of the doxies that patrolled this part of town at night had cozied up to her. He thought he recognized the girl-- Molly or Jenny or something, pale-skinned and dark-haired, with her youthful radiance only beginning to dim. She wore a simple cotton dress, low-cut enough to leave little to the imagination. It wasn't his business, he decided. He'd tried to pluck the bottle out of the half-elf's hands before she could do herself any mischief. He'd done his best.

Aliara blinked. It was hard to focus. "Teysha?" she asked again, and she felt cool hands clasp around her wrist.

It wasn't Teysa, she could see that now. This girl was smaller, thinner, younger; her skin was alabaster, her hair thinner and straighter. But perhaps she would do. For a night, at least.

"Pour you a drink?" Aliara asked, and the woman smiled.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Between them they polished off the bottle of red, and when Aliara felt cool fingers resting on her inner thigh, she made no move to remove them. The girl-- she'd said her name, but Aliara had forgotten it immediately-- curled one arm around Aliara's back and breathed in her ear. "Why don't we find somewhere more private?" she cooed. "Just a few silver and I'll take your mind off your troubles. You look like a lady with a lot of troubles."

Not five minutes later the two of them left hand in hand. They'd taken the bottle with them, too. The bartender sighed and shook his head. Sometimes, you saw the track someone was on, and you just couldn't do anything to shake them off it.

The door to Aliara's room slammed open and she staggered in, dragging not-Teysa behind her. The girl's face twisted momentarily at the sight of the mess, but she recovered quickly. "What do you want to--" she began, then yelped in surprise as Aliara pulled her down into the bed.

The half-elf's hands were clumsy, her motions erratic, but the girl seemed to know what was expected of her. She wriggled free of her dress and pulled it over her head. Beneath it, she wore only a triangle of silk that covered her sex. Her breasts were small but firm, her nipples already stiffening in the cool breeze through the window. Aliara's mouth descended on one and she sucked greedily.

"Oh!" The girl's moans filled the air. They were unnecessarily theatrical, but Aliara didn't seem to notice or mind. The half-elf's fingers caressed up and down the girl's side, squeezed her other breast, slipped down below her smallclothes and cupped the warmth of her quim. The girl was soaking wet already and Aliara's fingers slid easily inside her. She leaned over, propping herself up on one elbow, still slurping and suckling on one fine pink nipple. The girl let out a little sigh, a gentle noise of contentment, and tilted her hips slightly to allow Aliara easier access.

Her fingers worked the girl's slit with patient, practiced motions. As she did, her mind went far away: another bed, another room, a hammock of silk and the cool wetness of kisses against her belly. Memory doubled and redoubled. She had been lying on her back then, giggling, pretending to protest, while Teysa had stroked her with those strong, thick fingers. Fate had played a trick on her, reversed their positions, so now it was Aliara pumping her arm in and out and Teysa wriggling in ecstasy below her. Tears beaded the corners of her eyes.

"Teysa," she murmured, lifting her head off the girl's breast. In the silvery moonlight her pale skin looked slate-grey. "Teysa, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Shhhhh," Teysa said. Aliara felt fingers twining through her hair. "Shhhhhhh, love, it's all right. It's all right." Aliara stared in wonder through eyes blurry with tears. That familiar face, that familiar smile. "I'm here, love," Teysa said. "I'm whoever you need me to be."

Aliara picked up the pace. Her head spun and her stomach roiled. She thrust her fingers forward and pulled the back, the tips curled in to rub against Teysa's sensitive inner walls. Her thumb found Teysa's clit and rubbed it in a semicircular motion. Teysa bucked beneath her, thrusting her hips up to meet Aliara's questing fingers. Her lips closed around Aliara's and her tongue swirled through the half-elf's mouth. Teysa kissed the tears off her cheeks and nuzzled against her, cheek to cheek, jaw to jaw. "I forgive you. Whatever you've done, my love, I forgive you."

Aliara closed her eyes. You left Teysa, said a nasty little voice in her head. Sometimes **** made the voice shut up, and sometimes she could silence it during sex... but more and more often, lately, it spoke up regardless. You know that's not Teysa, don't you? Teysa's out there, somewhere. Alone. Because of you. Because you were weak. Because you were scared.

"No," Aliara whispered, and thrust her arm forward. "No, I wasn't! Shut up!"

The girl's spoke again, her voice high with distress. "Love? What are you- ah!" She squealed. "You're hurting me!"

Aliara, uncaring, speared her hand forward. "NO!" she cried. "No, you're not her! Liar! Liar!"

SLAP!

The sound of skin on skin rang out in the tiny room. Aliara reeled backward, clutching at her face. The girl, her eyes bright with fear, scrambled backwards. She practically rolled out of bed and bundled up her dress, pressing it against her body to hide her nakedness. She looked wildly around the room until her gaze landed on Aliara's reduced money pouch. She scooped it up with one hand. "You're crazy!" she yelled. "I'm taking this! I consider it hazard pay!" With that, she scampered out of the room. Aliara reached out one pleading hand after her, then collapsed on the bed.

Well done, said the mocking little voice. Is there anything in your life you haven't ruined? It's almost impressive. You haven't done one thing right since you walked out of that cave.

Aliara curled up on the bed and cried.