"Hey, man, were here."

"Hmmm?" I mumbled as I regained control over my physical body. It seemed so real to me...

"Come on man, get up. Remember, you have a lady friend tonight!" Greg said with a chuckle. I suddenly remembered my little predicament with the girl I found on the road, and the life-stealing make-out session she gave me on the side of the road...

"Dude, you look retarded with that stupid grin on your face. At least open your eyes!" Greg said as he gave me a shove. Snapping out of my happy place, I opened my eyes slowly. All I could see was two giant green eyes, just an inch away from mine!

"Whoa!!!" I yelled as I jumped back after I realized what these two green things were, and in the process bonking my head slightly against Greg’s rifle behind me.

"OH MY GOD NOOOOO!!!" Greg bellowed as I recoiled from his precious gun, back towards the girl. She looked confused and scared at these two men yelling around her, but when our eyes met again, she calmed down and stopped wiggling away from me. As I tore my gaze away from hers, I looked back at the gun and saw that if I had moved one more inch, I would have decapitated the little car ornament he fused onto the gun with a little glue and a lot of passion.

"You almost killed my gun! You dumbass!" Greg yelled as he roughly pushed me out of his hand's way to gently pick up his precious deformed weapon. I fell against the girl’s body, my head resting against her breasts accidentally. She didn’t seem to mind.

“Oh, come on Steven! Stop trying to get into her bra already! My truck does NOT count as a hotel room!”

“I’m not trying to get into her clothes! You pushed me into her!” I yelled back from the soft comfort of this girl’s bosom.

“Excuses, excuses,” Grey grinned as he held his gun to his chest.

"Why the hell do you even have a car ornament on that thing, I think the value was triple what it is now when you got it!" I changed the subject as to avoid more prodding from Greg. Besides, it was odd seeing that Greg hugged and petted his gun like a baby. His eyes were looking at it's metallic surface as his lips moved slightly, as though he was comforting his frightened gun. It looked like he was saying "Its ok, Gun-Gun. The bad people will go away soon."

"It is my lucky car.... whatever-you-call-it," Greg said as he looked at me in anger, then his gaze softened again as it dropped back to his gun. "And besides, it looks awesome!" Greg added as he started to talk again to his gun. His conversation with the not-so-living object would go on until Greg either fell asleep, or found another shiny object to look at. Greg is very simple person as I have seen so many times...

Ignoring Greg for the time being, I escaped the girl’s love fluffies. I got into a sitting position and there was her eyes again, staring deeply into mine, giving me the uneasy feeling of her scanning me over.

Unknowingly to me, Greg stopped whispering comforting words to his rifle and had snuck up behind me. What he did caught me off guard.