Greg's sense of humor... again

Greg stood behind me as I looked at the only girl who has ever sat on my lap willingly. She was gazing into my eyes, and I returned the favor, though I didn’t know why. Suddenly, I was shoved foreword, and my lips made a second contact with this girl’s lips.

“Mmmmmphhh! Mmm!” I exclaimed into this surprised girls mouth. I guess right then I didn’t have the sense (or the want) to pull away from her soft mouth. Her lips were just so soft and warm and inviting…

“Hahaha!” Greg hooted as he watched us in our unexpected make-out, “Hey, don’t blame me! I’m just speeding up fate. You both know you would be all over each other once you got into your house. I just wanna watch for a bit!”

Greg laughed some more as he watched our mouths hug. Then, she wrapped her arms around me and held me tight as her lips started to move against mine. My eyes widened, but quickly became relaxed as that pleasant wave of tiredness washed over me again. I was putty in the arms, or should I say lips?

“Hahaha, still goin’ at it, huh? Shes pretty straight foreword, isn’t she?” Greg commented to no effect to her or me. “Ok guys, I think that’s enough smooching for one night. You can stop now. Steven? Are you even listening to me!?”

The fact was, I really wasn’t there right then. I heard him speaking, but it was like a daydream and I didn’t understand what he was saying. I couldn’t register anything in my mind but this girl’s soft flesh and the subtle movements of her lips against my own. My eyelids closed, being too weak to stay open anymore. Her sweet breath poured into my-

“Hey! Get off of him! You doin’ that thing you did to him in the ditch!” Greg’s arms came between us and forcibly pried us apart. I opened my eyes to see my kissing buddy retreated in the corner of the truck, farthest away from Greg as possible. She looked afraid as her fingers dug into the cushioned car seat. Greg pulled me out of the truck.

“Steven! Snap outta it!” Greg shook me, and I flopped around like a rag doll. I was still in a daze, and my legs only barely seemed to keep me standing. “She’s bad news! I think she’s drugging you somehow or sumthin’. Im gonna call the police.” Greg started searching for his cellphone, which was tough due to all the pockets his hunting vest had.

“No!” I exclaimed to even my own surprise. “Can’t you see that she’s alone and scared? Maybe someone threw her out of a car on the highway.”

“Then why isn’t there a single scratch on her!?” We both turned to look at her. It was true; she didn’t have a single scratch or bruise on her. Her weird clothing looked like a fibrous rubber. A full body… thing was on her, light green with white stripes on her sides. I had seen such things in some porn movies before (I really didn’t care what as on the ladies, just what was under it!), but this suit didn’t have any visible seams or zippers, like in those high-budget “Space Boobs” videos. She was still crouched back there, looking scared but innocent of her inherent oddities.

“It’s like… she wearing a green sports sock, Steven…” Greg said in an ominous undertone, “That can’t be normal. And look at her skin!” I looked, and saw that she was pale, very pale. Her skin reflected the street light’s glow like a roadside reflector. Her light green eyes stood out like road flares on a white road.

“Well, she might be scared to death of you, Greg! Maybe she’s some sort of…” I didn’t like to say the word hooker, especially if it was such a pretty girl that was the subject of the word, “Roadside employee that got fired by her boss and left on the highway,” I said.

“Steven, we aren’t talking about construction workers here! But whatever, shes not my problem! You can keep her in YOUR house. I don’t wanna have her sucking the life out of me any time soon.” Greg stormed over to his side of the truck, causing the girl to leap out of the truck to me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged onto me, burying her head into my chest.

“Greg, I’m sorry-” I started, but Greg interrupted.

“Hey! Don’t be sad,” Greg suddenly changed from chiding to cheerful, “You finally have a girl going into your house without the famous Twinkie Trap that you usually use!” He chuckled as he jumped into his truck.

“Hey, the Twinkie Trap works a lot better than the ‘Hey, I got a gun collection in my house. Wanna check it out?’ Ploy.”

“Sorry Steven, I can’t hear your insult over all the heavy petting and kissing coming from over there!” Greg rolled up his window and drove out of the driveway and onto the road. His truck sputtered onto the main road and disappeared into the night.

“Hmph. He wouldn’t be able to hear ‘heavy petting and kissing’ from way over there. I don’t think you can even hear heavy-” Just then I heard the girl stepping onto my doorstep. “Hey, whatcha doin?” I ran up to her. She can apparently walk really quietly when she wants to. She turned to me then back to me door without saying a word, but her eyes looked curious.

“Well, I guess we were going to be going into there anyway,” I resigned as I opened the door to my house. As soon as my door was wide enough, she sprinted into my house like a kid when a candy story just opened.

“… Weird girl, indeed…”