"Do you remember why I stoped Vataries fight last week?"

Stephanie asks, kicking the circle she'd made around you out of the sand.

obviously you remember, though you still aren't sure she'd actually kill someone. "What does-"

"She was going to kill someone." Stephanie interrupts.

"You think I'm going to kill someone?" You aren't sure if you are feeling more insulted or surprised.

"Battle shock does a lot of things to a lot of people. I've seen women far stronger than me loss themselves to the memories of **** and attack and innocent because their was the sound of metal on metal and they thought they were being attacked. And I saw that on your face."

"I didn't-"

"You almost killed Mary a few days ago." Stephanie said flatly, the circle was gone and she was looking you the eye.

"What?"

"If she hadn't pulled you out of it with the forms, you'd have killed her." You had no response to that. "Some people get aggressive, others, like you, ignore it, use other people as a way to not remember."

"I know but, I'm not, I'd never hurt anyone." You'd already been through this with the others when you had a panic attack in your room a few days ago.

"I believe you, but you won't know you're hurting them."

"They why push me so much? Why do everything you could to try and make me," You stop yourself from saying the word as discomfort made your stomach twist.

"Because there were at least two people who could stop you in the audience and I don't want you to loss it when there aren't." Stephanie picked up the remains of your training sword from the floor. "How close were you from acting?"

You were quiet for a moment. "Close." If not for the other students stepping in the guard would have been inside your dead zone suffocating in the void. Wait, would you have killed someone, you could feel their auras so you'd have known when they were ****, you would have stopped when they were, wouldn't you?

"This wasn't just about pushing you." Stephanie handed you the sword and you saw the handle had been blackened with the wood splintering from the crush in your hand, you hadn't even noticed you'd done it. "It was about showing you that it's not only the people you're fucking that'll come to your aid if you need it."

Well that is, fair. "So you put everyone at risk so I'd realise I might snap and hurt someone and realise that I don't have to do all this alone, and hoped that Delilah and Clare would step in if I did snap."

"No I spoke to them before this and told them to step in if they felt you lose control in your aura. You are extremely predicable, I knew your first step would be let your aura out, your second would be to reinforce, your third to try and talk your way out of it, then you would act. If I had the ability I would have trained that predictability out of you but that would require me being able to punish you for it."

She pulled her dagger and swung it at you. You stepped out of the way before it had even cleared her sheathe, your magic close to hand even this long after you'd let it go. Her dagger sailed harmless past you and she gave you a raised eyebrow. "Oh." You said. "There were many better ways to do all this."

"No there weren't. I've been doing this for long enough and seen enough people 'snap' to know that half measures only earn consideration, if you don't see how you can be dangerous you won't accept that you are until its too late." Stephanie put her dagger away.

"Out of curiosity what would have happened if I just stepped out of the circle?" You asked, her dagger seems more than a little precious, even if the guards had been in on it and weren't after the dagger so much as obeying orders.

"I would have been entirely wrong about your condition and had either Ten or Nine take your place and play the test as usual." She smiled softly at you. "It's a part of battle shock, even if you aren't aware of it you can only see a fight as **** or victory, no alternative."

"What about Edin?"

"If I tried I would, Princess Anastasia angry at me for expelling her," she didn't add a noun. "Princess Mary angry at me for punishing an innocent party. Queen Aurora angry at me for antagonising you. And several members of the academies staff for removing an excellent student. And if you were thinking clearly you'd have been aware of that."

Her logic was hard to debate. "So what now? We talk about it or I talk to someone else you know?" Clare would be the obvious choice but she didn't seem all that keen on talking much about you and possible ****.

"You talk to who did that." She nodded at your missing hand. "Forgiveness goes a long way, after that we keep training, wear down your battle shock so you don't see every fight as life or ****, only real ones."

"That qualification at the end isn't encouraging. And I've already forgiven-"

"No you haven't." Stephanie sighs and stretches, pushing her chest out. "I imagine you'll want to renegotiate our duel at this point."

"Wh-" You start then stop yourself as the obvious contrition came across in her aura. "Right. Well, we're going to duel when Mary leaves but that could be while."

"Agreed. Three weeks it is. If you haven't found the star metal yet, I'd suggest you hurry. Also you've been slacking on your imbuing this week. I was expecting you to try it at some point, which is why I told the guard to destroy that. I didn't want any shrapnel going into the audience." She nodded at the hilt in your hand.

"Hang on, that's not fair." You said. "I was supposed to renegotiate not you."

"I had to completely change my test and inform multiple people of what to do and when to interfere to protect people. Unlike you who just had to stand there." She had a teasing twinkle in her eye.

"Ok fine. Then you'll tell me who to ask about the star metal." Stephanie thought for a moment but before she got the chance to respond you added. "And you have to join all your students in the bath until we duel." That shut her up. "You are going to be naked around several of them a lot after I win, figure I should help you get used to it early."

Stephanie smiles at you. "I see you are finally learning to press an advantage." She grabbed the front of your uniform and pulled your into a kiss. Her tongue running along your lips, but pulling away before yours could meet her. "Three weeks. Talk to the elf." She let you go and started walking to away.

"What if I lose control in the duel?" It was a thought that hadn't been acknowledged but one that had been hanging over you since she'd brought the duel up.

"You won't." She didn't turn as she said it, "You would never pass up the chance to see me naked." She spanked her ass, leaving a slight echo around the arena your only company.

Aside from strongly disagreeing with her methods, you understood why those were hers. She was a fighter, makes sense she'd think of PTSD in terms of combat, both in how it exists and how to treat it. You have no idea what the forgiveness thing was about, but you haven't really talked to Delilah or Eve since, not seriously, not in detail about, killing you on accident and torturing you in their mind, or trying to make you kill Delilah in their mind and cutting off your own hand to avoid killing her, or about the poker.

Weird why'd your brain add the poker to the list.

No matter, you maybe have somethings, forgiveness related you might need to say to them. Only as you made you way to the Dorms did you think about how you hadn't given a start date on Stephanie joining the baths, only an end date ... you hurried to the baths.