"Can I have a towel?"

“Excuse me,” says the woman on reception, a African-American woman in a conservative dull red blazer. Her name is Janelle, and by coincidence she bears a strong resemblance to Janelle Monae. “Honey. Where the hell are your clothes?”

“Just… that’s not your problem. Can I have a towel?”

“You think we keep towels at the reception?”

“I don’t know! You must have something!” Cass’ head swivels back and forth, conscious that the lobby of the dorm is rapidly filling up. Plenty of students from the fourth floor have followed her down the stairs, and they’re all excitedly texting their friends to come down and see the show. She hops in place, doing a mortified little dance as she struggles to conceal her curves from all the excited eyes, and says “A blanket! A jacket! An envelope! Please, anything!”

“This is reception, honey, not a wardrobe department. You’re supposed to provide the clothing yourself.”

“I got locked out of the shower! Somebody stole my towel!”

“Well, that’s hilarious, but it’s not my problem. Actually,” says Janelle, rising from her desk to reveal long legs clad in an equally conservative dull red pencil skirt, “this is a blatant violation of the student code of conduct.”

“What? But… but… it’s not my fault!”

“Young people these days need to learn to take more responsibility. I’m afraid,” says Janelle, pulling a pair of handcuffs from her belt and taking firm hold of Cass’ wrist before the startled blonde has time to react, “I’m going to have to take disciplinary action.”

“I… no, wait, this doesn’t… stop! No! How are you so strong?”

“It’s called responsibility.”

“That makes no sense! Let me go!”

Ten seconds pass. Janelle is now sitting down on her swivel chair, Cass handcuffed and bent over her lap in full view of everyone. The laughing dorm students crowd around to get a better look as the officious secretary plants a hand in the small of her squirming captive’s back, and raises the other high in the air. “I want you to know,” she says, “this is for your own good.”

“There’s no way this is official college policy! Take your hands off me! I… OW! OW OW OW!”