"...offer your bodies as a living sacrifice... ."

With a groan the heavy oak door swung open as Holmes stepped into his new place of power.

“Welcome back to New Light Baptist Church, Reverend,” an older black woman greeting him. “May I take your coat?”

“Yes, thank you Sylvie. Always good to see you at the door, do I have any visitors in my office?”

“No Reverend, I think the idea for one on one meeting with our youth to discuss opportunities for outreach is good, but on a Monday morning, the traffic may be a bit slow. You know how those weekend nights get for young folk these days,” said Sylvie mild distaste in her voice.

“Ah well, we shall see,” Holmes said, doubt clear in his own. Stepping past, after the morning events, he couldn’t help noting the lines in her face, and the older appearance and ethnicity so common in his own congregation. So rare to see younger people in his parish these days.

Once through his office door, on the 2nd floor off to the right of the main entrance, a smaller space, for a smallish church. Perhaps 70 people total. Maybe 150ishish on an Easter morning.

Looking around in a cheaper swivel chair eh couldn’t help noticing the fading paint about him, the desk sturdy, but aged, the floor creaking under little weight.

“Whack,” as Holmes decisively slapped his notebook down.

“This simply will not do.”

Gazing down he once again saw what he presumed was a joke number, but if not, well he should make sure, should he not?

Picking up his office phone he dialed the number, 503-867-5309.

Several long rings later, “Hey there! You’ve reached Lee, currently serving Ambrosian Coffee to some picky brats, what’ cha want?”

Lips twitching Holmes stated, “This is Jason Holmes. What time does your shift end?”

A pause at the other end.

“Well that was fast, sir,” a breathy voice said over the line. “3PM sharp. We’ll swing by Em’s and I. Long and hard stories to cover, don’t go too soft on me sir.”

“Oops, new customer. Gotta run!”

Holmes blinking stared at the white phone in his tightly clenched hand incredulously.

“Enough, time to get to work.”

Cracking the notebook once more.

“Organization: New Light Baptist Church “

“Old rule: All congregation members shall tithe 10% of their pay.”

Around the Reverend, the office changed in less than an eyeblink, a cleaner chair, a glossy larger desk, expanding twice over it could now easily hold 10 people standing comfortably, a small red 2 seat couch, and several little armchairs making an appearance in front of him. The phone upgrading to the latest, and perhaps last model of desk phone existential. A sheeny black creation with a digital display. No cord now.

“Old rule: All members shall personally and fully confess their sins to the Reverend on a weekly basis and accept his judgement as to their requisite restitution.”

Brain flashing back to Sylvie in the front of the church he hastily added.

“Old rule: All members, excluding the children, are people that would be attractive to Jason Holmes.”

“No harm, I have reasonable tastes, who doesn’t want to be attractive?”

Pausing Holmes thought back to a cheery young black woman, tall athletic, with a firm chest, in far too short a skirt that had greeted him this morning. Absently adjusting his pants.

“Why on earth did I think about Sylvie before writing this rule?”

Recalling Lee’s absurd display in the morning, he added one more. For both Divine Coffee and New Light Baptist Church.

“New rule: The Reverend shall dictate the positioning of the flesh during confessions.”

Opening his door, his voice boomed out to the greeter. “Sylvie? It’s time for your confession!”