Worlds Apart

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, blast off!” I announce to the crew.

Funny how something as simple as that still sends chills down my spine. Granted, it isn’t really relevant in this case. Ships and rockets are completely different. But I don’t care. It’s fun.

I wave at family, friends, colleagues, and everyone else gathered around to watch us take off before finally putting a year’s worth of dreams and plans into action. I start gaining momentum, preparing to take flight as everyone else braces themselves. Once I gain enough speed, I bring us off of the ground and retract the wheels. We are now airborne. I guide us all the way to the top of the world, taking in the last sight of the beautiful land that I’m gonna get for 6 months. See you soon, guys. Once I’m far enough in the air, I bring my hand hovering above the thruster controls, preparing for the jump.

“Alright, hang on, everyone,” I warn, turning to my crewmates, “It’s gonna get a bit bumpy.”

After they grab onto their solid objects, I activate the thrusters and go full throttle, pushing us through the thermosphere all the way to the exosphere with the g- proving to be strong, but us proving that we’re stronger. You’re nothing to us, science!

Once we breach past the last layer of the Earth, I ease up on the acceleration, bringing us to a stable cruising speed. All of us take a breath, relaxing as we head toward our target. I then decide to lighten the mood even more by turning on the intercom and saying in my best pilot voice,

“Attention, passengers, this is your captain speaking. You’ll be happy to know tha-”

“Alex, we’ve been through this,” Mandy intervenes, “You can either do the countdown or the pilot bit, but not both.”

“Apologies for my lack of fucks to give about your stipulations that I don’t seem to recall agreeing to. Furthermore, I am in possession of the steering wheel, so therefore I make the rules. And the first rule: I’m your captain.”

Everyone laughs at my comment with Jaqui saying,

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Affirmative,” I continue with my flawless pilot impression, “Now, like I was saying, you’ll be happy to know that we’re in pursuit of the unidentified flying object within Earth’s atmosphere and it should be smooth sailing from here on out. So you’re welcome to maneuver about with your magnetic boots on the ground at all times. We wouldn’t want another Dani moment, now would we?”

“I thought we agreed to never make that a thing,” Dani whines,

“And I thought I made it abundantly clear on how I feel about these stipulations that I’ve never agreed to, but here we are.”

“Plus, it’s not our fault that you thought floating around would be cool,” Jaqui chimes in,

“I told you I forgot where I put them,” Dani replies,

“They were right by your bed,” Mandy points out,

“You guys are mean.”

“We love you, too,” I say, smirking at her before turning back to the space road, “Now, quiet down. We’re here.”

We inch closer and closer to the foreign material. Jeez, it looks even weirder up close. I’ve never even seen anything like it. What’s that even made out of? It looks sleeker and more sturdy than any metal I've ever seen.

“Alright,” Jaqui starts as I bring the ship to a stop, “Soooo, now what? Do we just go up there and ring the doorbell?”

“We’re here to ask another species questions about their intentions, Jaqui, we’re not asking for sugar,” I reply,

“Fine, then. What do you suggest we do, ‘captain’?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked, my underling. The xeno station discovered a mutual galactic symbol that portrays docility. And Lincoln just so happened to stitch together a 60x90 flag that displays that symbol.”

“Uhhh...when?” Dani asks,

“Last month. They told him to make sure that he set it up under the ship.”

“Wait, wait, they told Lincoln to set that flag up on a ship a month before we did this?” Jaqui asks, confused,

“Well, yeah,” I confidently answer, “He was the only one who knew how at the time.”

“Do you really see nothing wrong with anything you just said?” Mandy questions,

“What? You guys are acting like he’s untrustworthy.”

“No, we’re acting like Lincoln was transferred to a different department 2 months ago because there was a message from the aliens that no one else could decypher,” Jaqui says, “You know, the one where it said that they will only speak to females. Hence the reason we’re here in the first place.”

“What? No. He left right before his birthday.”

“Which was?”

“....GODDAMMIT!!!!”

“How could you not realize this?!” Dani interjects,

“How was I supposed to know that the people relaying the message to me were wrong?!”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe asking?! Or at the very least checking the damn cargo?!”

“Ok, ok, let’s just cool it. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Yeah, it’s the edge,” Mandy jokes, earning a groan from everyone,

“Another one of those and you’re staying here,” I warn, “Now, with everything we know about extraterrestrial language and symbols, surely we can display one so that these guys will know that we’re peaceful.”

“Longshot, maybe ours can mean the same thing?” Jaqui suggests,

“Yes, Jaqui, a symbol from a species that they’ve never interacted with in the history of their lives would know exactly what their symbols mean.”

“I said it was a longshot. No need to be such a jerk about it.”

“Well, maybe it will work,” Dani chimes in, “We’ve only known that these guys were here for a year. Who knows how long they’ve actually been here? Maybe they’ve been watching us, studying us. It wouldn’t be so outlandish to pick up on our subliminals.”

“See?” Jaqui says, defensively,

Huh. That’s a good point. It would only make sense for that to be the case if they were here for that long.

“Oh, so it’s a good idea when she says it, but I’m the idiot for coming up with it?” Jaqui says in an annoyed tone,

“What are you talking about?” I ask, confused,

“What do you mean? I have ears, you know.”

“I didn’t even say anything.”

Before she can say anything else, Mandy starts laughing, confusing us all.

“Dani, that was just mean,” she says through her laughter,

“What?” Dani questions,

“So you’re just gonna act like none of us heard you say that?”

“Say what?” Jaqui asks,

“Yeah, I didn’t hear anything,” I add on,

“Ok,” Mandy says, folding her arms, “Keep acting like you didn’t hear Dani calling Jaqui an actual idiot.”

“I think I would’ve heard that coming from lightfoot over here,” Jaqui says, bringing a hand to her hip, “Looks like you’ve been spending too much time with Justin and his herbs.”

“Woah, woah,” I intervene, “Now, that was just a low blow.”

“What do you mean?” Jaqui questions, “You mentioned it first.”

“I only said it as a joke. It’s not even confirmed he does anything yet. Plus, keep your voice down. They’re still listening in through the radio. I don’t wanna get him fired or something.”

“First, what moron couldn’t see that that guy clearly does shrooms? I’m pretty sure he’s safe. Todd does far more than that. Second, there’s no way you heard that. I was...thinking...about it...Oh.”

Yeah, it’s not hard to see what’s happening here. They’re making us read each other’s minds. So if they can do that, then maybe-...

“Alright, guys, I’m gonna try something,” I announce before closing my eyes and concentrating.

Um...Aliens! If you can hear me right now, and if you understand a single word I’m saying, just know that we are here with no ill intent! We’re only here to ask you some questions and research you and your kind! After that, we’ll be on our way! Please, give me a sign that you understand!

I open my eyes and...Nothing.

“Impeccable idea, captain,” Jaqui says in a snarky tone,

“Fuck off, crewmate,” I reply,

“What? It’s not my fault you’re acting like a su-”

“Finish that sentence and I’m punching you in the throat.”

She starts to say something else, but she’s interrupted as we all hear,

“Um...Attention, humans, we have provided your- uh...as you put it...your “spaceship” with a protective barrier filled with oxygen so that you will be able to breathe. We will now present you with a-...walkway? Ok, this has to be a joke. They cannot be this basic with their lexicon considering everything else...Ugh, fine. We will present you with a ‘walkway’ so that you have a way to cross over to our ship. Once you transfer here, we will be more than willing to answer any questions you have.”

I look over at Jaqui, who’s avoiding eye contact with me all of a sudden for some reason.

“What was that you were saying earlier?” I ask, taunting her,

“Fuck off,” she grumbles,

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I turn back to the controls and open the door. Once it’s open, we gather at the exit, waiting for the bridge to be drawn out. Moments pass and we’re still waiting. Any moment now.

“Sorry,” we hear the same voice say, “I forgot to mention that the materials we have used for it were crafted by divine beings, so it is impossible to see with the naked eye. But I assure you, it is as sturdy as the floor of your ship.”

Because of course it is. Why wouldn’t I expect a ship to contain a transparent bridge that’ll carry me across the unforgiving nothingness of the cosmos? I look back at the girls and just as suspected, they’re not exactly willing to walk on this invisible walkway. Well, this is the joy of being the leader, I guess. I close my eyes and take a breath before bringing my foot forward. But before I can place it down, I instantly hear,

“WAIT!!! WAIT!!! NOT YET!!!....Ok, now, you can go.”

Alright, now I'm terrified. Was it not out before? What happened? Ok, you know what? Doesn’t matter. It was just a mistake. No such thing as the same mistake happening twice. Plus, with that happening, no way these wussies would dare take a step. And since we’ve gotta move at some point, I make another attempt at walking in space.

I place my foot down and, just as advertised, there’s most definitely a ground. I step forward, bringing my other foot on the surface. Same result. So I take a few steps, showing everyone that it’s perfectly safe in an attempt to ease their nerves.

I look back and Jaqui’s the first to follow behind, reluctantly placing her foot down on seemingly nothing. Once she ensures herself that she’s not gonna die, she joins alongside me, maneuvering to the aliens’ ship.

“You guys are insane,” Dani announces, “How do we know that they’re not just gonna make it disappear beneath us? Or if they’re just doing this with their mind and all it takes is the slightest distraction to make us float off? Or i-”

“Oh, just shut up and move,” Mandy interrupts, pushing her forward, making her whimper in fear.

As we traverse to the other ship, I start to feel...weird. Like half of my thoughts have just disappeared. My fear of falling off this bridge lightens up. My worries about what kind of aliens we’re dealing with are vanquished. The stresses of home are no more. It’s like with each step those thoughts just slipped out of my mind. And I can tell that the same effect is being had with everyone else. Jaqui’s walking more confidently, Mandy doesn’t have to push Dani anymore, and Dani herself isn’t whimpering like a little pussy. What exactly are we walking into?

We make it to the entrance of the ship, waiting for it to open. But instead, a speaker descends from the top of the ship all the way to our level. After moments of anticipation, we hear the voice we’ve been hearing this entire time saying,

“We cannot help but notice that your kind wear soft materials over your body. And to our understanding, being in the presence of those without these materials is uncomfortable and frowned upon in your culture. But in our own culture, expression of the body is the norm. So if you are uncomfortable with that, you can tell us now and we will accommodate you.”

“Aw, sweet,” Mandy says in a whispered excited tone, “So you’re saying I can look at nude bods for the next 6 months and not be reprimanded for it? Sign me the fuck up!”

I smack her on the back of her head before saying,

“We have no issues with it whatsoever. If it’s part of your culture, we will respect it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. There’s no objection on our end.”

The speaker then retracts back to the top of the ship as we continue waiting.

“Did you have to hit me so hard?” Mandy complains,

“Do you have to be such a horn dog?” I respond, “They’re living beings just like you and me, and should be treated as such. There’s more to life than ‘Looking at nude bods’. There’s actual brains and personality inside of those bodies. Maybe try gawking at those from time to time.”

“Oh, cut the crap. I don’t need to read your mind to know that you were thinking the same exact thing.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t lust after every attractive body I see.”

“So you’re telling me if I ask them what you were thi-”

“Oh, look, the door’s opening.”

Thankfully, as I say that, the door actually opens, giving us access to the inside. Thank you, divine extraterrestrial beings. We step inside of the ship with it closing behind us. We then start walking forward through a short narrow tunnel decorated with pictures of an interesting looking planet, a few monuments from Earth, and a framed “I ❤️ NY” shirt. We gaze and snicker respectively at the items as we head towards the nearby doorway.

After stepping through it, we’re introduced to a giant monitor projecting various parts of Earth, a glass-like window showing the wonders of space, and most notably of all, three people standing on elevated platforms in front of the controls, looking back at us, completely nude as advertised. I thought I’d be able to have more self control over my mind, but I can’t keep my eyes off of them. Especially the last one. She’s so cute.

They all appear to be human women, but with some very differing features. First, they all have different skin colors. The left is purple, the center is light blue, and the right is hot pink. Second, all three have different glowing white markings all over their bodies. They have three straight horizontal lines below each of their eyes and vertical lines on their arms and legs, but the purple one has various paint brush shaped markings on her torso, the light blue one has what appears to be clouds, and the pink one has hearts. And lastly, their ears are...pointed? Wait a minute, are they-

“Greetings humans,” the center one says, looking at a sheet of paper, “Welcome to our...‘humble abode’?...Hm. Ok. Um, per your culture, we are to formally introduce ourselves. You are welcome to include your last names, but our kind does not follow that tradition. Forgive me if I find that tradition a bit ridiculous.”

“Well, she sure isn’t afraid to speak her mind,” Jaqui whispers to me.

I nudge her arm before saying,

“It’s not a problem at all. As I’m sure you’re aware, there’s a lot about our kind that makes no sense. So I guess we should start, since we’re the guests. I’m Alexis Young. You can call me Alex for short. This is Jaqueline Lace. She also goes by Jaqui. This is Mandy Ridge. You can just call her Mandy. And this is Danielle Phinton. And you can just call her Dani.”

“Wait a minute,” the left one says, “Dani Phinton?”

“No relation,” Dani jokes,

“Interesting. We must talk more about that later.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Well, before that, we need to hold onto our end. My name is Xen.”

“I am Liy,” the center one says,

“And I am Val,” the last one says, bowing, “I am pleased to make your acquaintances.”

“Showoff,” Liy mocks,

“I fail to see how that could possibly be the case. I am just communicating with the humans in the manner that they are familiar with. I mean, it is what we were to study before coming here, was it not?”

“Well, pardon me for being too busy to comply with the assignment. I am the pilot. Do you think that I would have the time to fully digest the knowledge in that amount of time?”

“We had two centuries.”

“Irrelevant information.”

We snicker at their banter before Dani says,

“Well, for what it’s worth, you’re all pretty fluent in our language.”

“Why, thank you, Dani,” Liy says, “It is nice to have someone finally acknowledge my strengths for a change.”

“So are you just not going to be truthful and tell her about our technique?” Xen questions in a smug demeanor,

“Are you not supposed to be taking the vow of silence? Whatever happened to your interest in that?”

“That was before the humans appeared before us. It would just be rude to remain speechless in front of our guests, would it not?”

“You two have been observing the Earth far too much.”

Wow. Do we really have an impact on extraterrestrial life? And is this really the take away from our kind? I don’t know how to feel about that.

“What’s the technique?” Mandy questions through a chuckle,

“If either of you answer, there will be dire consequences,” Liy says, sternly.

Silence.

“We are speaking in our native tongue,” Val starts, earning a look of malous from Liy,

“Basically, whenever we speak in front of those of other species, our voices travel through the foreigner’s mind and their perception of what we say is seen to them as if we are speaking in their language of origin and vice versa,” Xen adds on, earning the same look from Liy,

“However, due to different dialects and context structures within different languages, studying such mannerisms is essential whenever interacting with others. Otherwise, we would be speaking utter nonsense.”

“And-

“She-”

“Is-”

“Apparently-”

“Too-”

“Lazy-”

“To-”

“Learn.”

“I do not much care for either of you right now,” Liy responds, “That isn’t even a part of the reason as to why I’ve chosen to neglect this particular language.”

“Wait, then why?” Jaqui questions, “Our language is probably the language that makes the most sense on our planet.”

“Read.”

“Ok, I see your point.”

“Honestly, the mere fact that you humans not only learn such a complex structure, but do so at such a young age, yet fail to grasp other basic aspects of the universe is somewhat admirable.”

“I mean, it’s not that bad,” Dani objects,

“Oh, was that last example not enough for you? Well, there is also your nonsensical rule of the letter ‘i’ coming before ‘e’ except when it appears after ‘c’ in your words, yet more of your words break that rule than follow it, your incessant need to add letters to words for no apparent reason, such as ‘pterodactyl’ or ‘opossum’ or ‘queue’ or ‘freight’, how words break the rules that they set, for example, the word ‘apart’ appears when things are separated, yet ‘a part’ means those brought together, and let us not forget how all some words need for there to be a completely different pronunciation is a single letter to be added. How does ‘though’ become ‘through’?! And why does that have the same pronunciation as ‘threw’?! How were your ancestors when conceiving these concepts?!”

“What she is trying to say is your language can be infuriating,” Xen says,

“That is quite the understatement, Xen,” Liy punctuates,

“Now, Lyi, I am always presenting you with a quote that might help you: ‘The English language may be difficult at first, but it can be mastered through tough thorough thought, though’.”

“It is times like these where you make me want to throw away your lunch.”

“But that would be very unkind of you, now would it?”

“That’s a pretty specific threat,” I say with a chuckle,

“Our species is incapable of , so that is basically all that she can threaten me with,” Xen explains, “As you all have noticed, your mood has become more tranquil upon nearing our ship. That is the effect of our presence. We are so passive, any being that comes within range of us instinctively becomes at least twenty percent more calm.”

“So, you’re all essentially walking bottles of melatonin?” Mandy questions,

“That would be an odd way of looking at it,” Val answers with an adorable giggle, “But if it helps to better your understanding, then yes.”

“Also, if it makes it easier for your minds, since all of you have been wondering the same thing since you saw us, after extensive research on them, I believe we are similar to the mythical creatures you call ‘elves’,” Xen says,

“Oh, God, thank you,” Mandy says, “That’s been bugging me.”

We all look at her, dumbfounded.

“What?” she says defensively, “You heard her. We were all thinking about it.”

We roll our eyes before turning our attention back to the others.

“So,” Liy starts, “It is our understanding that you had some questions for us?”

“Oh, right,” I say, getting my mind back on track, “Well, um, I guess a good place to start would be where you’re from.”

Liy tries to answer before Xen interrupts with a dramatic tone,

“We hail from a distant galaxy far far away! Our brethren are those who are referred to as Deinlites. We-”

“So that would be the answer to that,” Liy interrupts back, “Apologies for her ignorance. She is excessively fascinated in your...your...‘theatrical arts’.”

“I fail to see the reason behind your exasperated tone. Theater is an exemplary innovative art.”

“...Right. So next question.”

“How exactly were you able to go so far with your advances in technology?” Dani asks, “I can’t even tell what the material used in your ship is made of.”

“Oh, that I am afraid is a question we cannot answer.”

“Before you ask why,” Xen adds on, “Are you truly surprised that we refuse to give that kind of information to a species that is hellbent on accelerating their own extinction with each generation and always finds weird ways to fornicate with everything they see?”

We don’t even try to refute. They’re right.

“Alright, well, here’s something you might be able to answer,” Jaqui starts, “What made you choose Earth to study?”

“Oh, we are not studying you,” Liy answers, “Studying you would be too boring and dour. We tried it when we first got here. All we found out was that you humans really like destroying your own creations.”

“Umm, alright, so...no offense, but, why are you here?”

They look at each other before saying in unison,

“Because you humans are entertaining.”

“Your so called ‘memes’ are stellar, your shows, games, and movies are inspiring, your wide range of different cultures are very interesting, and some of your comedians are hilarious,” Xen explains,

“Also, your furry companions are endearing, your landmarks are breathtaking, and your music is ironically otherworldly,” Val adds,

“Not to mention your planet itself is interesting,” Liy continues, “It has its beautiful moments along with its chaotic ones. And the fact that both blend together so perfectly is nothing short of fascinating. You have natural disasters that ultimately create your remarkable scenery, you have the concept of that looms over your minds, yet that only drives you to live out your passion, and you have your failures that inspire you to try again and succeed. You humans are quite the persistent organisms.”

“Wow, thanks,” Mandy replies, “That really means a lot.”

“No, no, thank you for the free entertainment,” Liy jokes,

“Oh, ‘Free entertainment’, huh? That’s gotta be nice.”

“It really is. Any other questions?”

“Uh, yeah,” Mandy says, “I hope this doesn’t seem rude, but what do the markings on your bodies mean?”