Virgin

A college student was leaving his class one day when he went by a sign outside a house advertising Psychic Readings. His name was Teddy, and he didn’t have a lot of luck in life. He was still a virgin. He had sometime spent time helping an old man who hung out in the park. The man's name was Roger. He didn’t know much about him, but he would all ways help him out. Every day he would drive by the psychic's house and pass it. One day something made him decided to come in.

He sat down.

The psychic opened the pack of Tarot cards and placed them on the table. She looked like a gypsy woman. She was sexy and beautiful. She had long black hair and big breast with a lot of cleavage.

“So what brings you here?” she asked.

“Seemed like fun.”

“Hmmm beware … I am not one to sugar coat. Your future may have bad fortune.”

He smiled and said, “I take my chances.” She had him shuffle the cards and cut the deck. She dealt out a pattern on the table, and started turning over cards.

Her voice changed into something somber when she said, “I am afraid it is bad news. A lot of bad news. You car will be destroyed by objects from the sky.”

“Weapons from the sky hey,” he laughed.

“Then you will Die some within 5 days … Die exactly 5 minutes after you lose your virginity.”

“Who said I was a virgin?” he gulped.

“The cards don’t lie.”

“Listen don’t have time for this. I am gone.” He left the house.

He drove to the 7-11. He was about to get in the car when he heard something falling. He dove for cover. A toilet fell on the car, exploding it.

“HOLY SHIT!” Teddy said. "Wow must have been a toilet from an airplane.”

Teddy was freaking out he rush back to the psychic. She wasn’t there. There was a sign on the door that said “Gone on vacation.”

Ok. It was still cool. All he had to do was avoid sex. He was avoiding it for years without trying. Doing it for 5 days wouldn’t be hard. He went to his house and turned on the TV. He saw his friend Roger on the screen.

“Eccentric Billon is Dead today,” a newscaster said. “He would sometime go to the parking posing as an old man. He was looking to find a good Samaritan. He found one. Here a picture of him. His name in Teddy. You may ask why this important. It important because Roger was sad Teddy never found love. So he is offering in his Will one billon dollars for the first woman to have sex with him.”

Teddy heard the crowd shake like a stampede. He opens the curtains and saw a crowd of women outside.