Unfulfilled Desires

Carla stared intently at the mirror, a frantic panic etched on her face, running her fingers through her hair as she re-styled it for what was probably the hundredth time in the last hour. Her phone buzzed, breaking her out of the trance and drawing her attention to it — a notification that her ride was here. “Oh crap, crap, crap,” she muttered to herself, still not satisfied with how she looked despite spending the last four hours getting ready. The bedroom floor was littered with various dresses, shoes, underwear, all manner of things, as if a tornado had swept through the room, evidence of the chaos that was her getting ready.

The cause of such panic and chaos was that tonight was Carla's 10-year high school reunion. She had thoroughly prepared. She'd bought the perfect dress, got her hair and nails done, and spent the last month on a strict and excruciating workout and diet regimen. Not that she needed it. Already a regular gym-goer she had always kept herself in good shape, but there was something about being back around all the people from high school again that made her very self-conscious about every little flaw, every little imperfection. She remembered how certain girls would make a snide comment about a bit of fat here and loud mocking laughs about a blemish there. They really knew how to make you feel like absolute crap. So she was determined not to give them any reason to find fault, hence the panicked state and hours of relentless preening. The girls that she was dreading seeing, ‘the clique’ as they dubbed themselves — a group made up of four absolute horrors that had terrorised their way through high school, led by the meanest, most hateful, complete and utter bitch Carrie Andrews. Carla shuddered thinking about her. She really hoped that Carrie wouldn’t be there tonight, but knew there was no way that she would miss something like this — an opportunity to brag about how amazing she looks and how great her life is, and get to put down others, this was what she loved to do. Carla was bracing herself for being told about how old she looked or how fat her ass had gotten, all she needed was some not-so-subtle jibes from her to make her really feel back at school again. Damn, I hate that bitch, she thought, remembering all the grief she caused her over the years. Ugh, I’ll have to see her tonight, she grimaced. Maybe she had a miserable life now, maybe her ass had gotten fat, Carla thought, smiling, amused at the thought of seeing her miserable and fat. Oh, she could only hope, she let out an evil laugh, picturing a crying, fat Carrie Andrews.

It wouldn't be all bad though, she was looking forward to seeing some old faces. She smiled, fondly remembering the days spent with her old friends, the ones who didn’t try and make her life hell, the cute guys she crushed on, the days when the world was a much more simple one and life was happy and carefree. The only worries in life back then were whether you would wake up with a giant zit on your nose. Or if you would trip up in the busy halls, falling flat on your face while checking out the guy you were obsessed with at the time and be so embarrassed you hide away in the bathroom for the rest of the day (both of which had happened to her). Maybe they weren’t such happy, carefree days after all, she thought.

She didn't know who would be there tonight, not being one for social media she hadn’t been in any online group chats or pages about it having been totally disconnected from high school life since she left. She had only found out about it because her mother had received an invitation addressed to Carla, as that was the only contact anyone had for her. When she had heard she was unsure as to whether she would actually attend or not, wrestling with the idea for a few days before deciding to go. This would be the first time she had seen or even really spoken to anyone from school since she graduated. She went to college on the other side of the country, where she met her now husband Steve and upon graduating college they both had gotten jobs there and remained there until recently when they moved to the area she had grown up in. She had missed her old town, missed her mom, sister, and friends that she had lost contact with, as happens when you leave school and aren’t seeing each other daily. The main reason she really wanted to go tonight was to reconnect with old friends, or even make new ones as she didn’t have anyone to spend time with and needed to be able to get out of the house to stop her from going completely crazy.

Her husband Steve had recently gotten a big promotion at work which enabled him to relocate to another area of the country. He had suggested that they move to her old town as a way to appease Carla, who was initially upset at the idea of moving. With her husband taking the job it would mean her leaving her job, her friends and the home that she loved. She had always talked about missing home and wanting to return every time she had gone to visit her mom so it was a good solution for both of them. She had also thought it might solve the marital problems they had been having for the last few years now. Steve had been spending all his time at work, on conferences, work events and so on in his effort to get promoted and now he had become even more wrapped up in his work, and what was once a happy union was decaying rapidly. Married straight out of college, people had warned her about jumping in too quickly, her mother included, telling her not to make the same mistakes she had when she was her age. She'd ignored them, claiming them to be bitter ramblings of people whose marriages went down the pan assured it wouldn't happen to her. Steve was a nice, sweet guy, had a good future and would be dependable, she didn’t imagine it would ever get like this, barely speaking, hardly seeing each other, the spark completely fizzled out. The one thing she had always said was that she wouldn’t end up in a dead-end marriage like her parents, who just stayed together, miserable, waiting until the kids moved out and then divorced, as in their case. She remembered the atmosphere, the separate bedrooms, awkward dinners, and the vacations. Both her parents were now much happier separated, her mother was like a new woman thanks to the new man in her life. She hoped it wouldn’t end up that way for her and Steve but it was heading that way it seemed inevitable unless something changed drastically. Carla and Steve didn’t have any kids yet, she had been putting off the notion, not that they were trying, they barely had sex at all these days, she couldn’t even remember the last time they had. She often lamented marrying so young, wishing she had experimented more in college, hooked up with more guys, and gotten to have more experiences.

Carla made her way down the stairs to the living room where her husband Steve was huddled at his laptop at the coffee table, his usual spot in the evenings. She stood at the bottom of the stairs in her beautiful dress, her long hair neatly tied back, and her make-up providing the perfect finish. "Steve, I'm leaving now honey," she said to her husband of five years, awaiting his approval and compliments on how she looked. "Okay babe, have fun," he shot back, not even taking his eyes away to look at her, eyes transfixed on the screen in front of him. She was disappointed but not surprised by his lack of interest in her, she knew by now that whatever was on that laptop screen was seemingly far more important than her, she had started to make peace with that. I look hot dammit, not that you would notice, she thought, walking quickly to the door. "Not sure when I'll be back, shouldn't be too late," she almost shouted, trying hard not to scream at him, as she got to the door. "Yeah, I’ll miss you," he said, unmoved, still eyes fully focused on the screen as he typed away. "Yeah, I’m sure you will," Carla sarcastically muttered back, angry at his lack of interest in her. Carla knew when he wasn’t listening to her because it had been happening so frequently lately that she could have said anything and received the same response back.

She arrived at the building, a downtown club that was the venue for the 10-year high school reunion. It was a very modern fancy-looking building, a square brick building that had been cladded with what looked like a grey leather-type material around the entrance, giving it a nice modern look. The entrance had a couple of smartly dressed large men outside and down the side of the building a long line of revellers waiting to enter. Carla frowned at the prospect of having to wait what would be a long time to enter. As she got closer though she saw a sign on a smaller door saying private function and went over to what would hopefully be her way in. The bouncer checked her name off the list, giving her a nod and a smile, looking her up and down, his eyes roaming her body in the figure-hugging dress as he opened the door and let her inside. At least someone appreciates how I look, she thought, smiling back. She followed the signs down the stairs, opened the doors and was hit by the unfamiliar experience of being in a club. It had been quite a while since she had last been in one. The bright strobe lights and electronic dance music made her feel a bit out of her comfort zone, not what she expected, she thought it would be a quiet, boring affair in a small room. The room was looking busy with people gathered together and had been extensively filled with the usual over-the-top trashy decorations one might see at a high school prom, but the walls were also plastered with photos from yearbooks and various school events.

She was smiling, looking at one of the photos, one she remembered all too well. It was her at the top of a cheerleader pyramid, taken mere seconds before it collapsed in a pile of uncoordinated bodies. She laughed to herself, thinking about that day and her exploits at quite possibly the worst cheer squads in the whole country. Moving away, smiling at the memories, she turned, caught her foot on the cloth which was covering the table, she tripped, tried in vain to reach out to stop her fall, grabbed the table and ended up falling hard on her butt pulling the table down on top of her in the process and doing exactly what she didn’t want to do and draw attention to herself. Damn her clumsiness, she was cursing to herself as she felt her cheeks burning up and knew the pain of embarrassing herself in front of her old classmates again. She quickly **** her way up, whilst dying inside, pushed the table back up, trying to pretend it didn’t happen. I wonder if anyone noticed, she thought as she arranged the fallen papers back in place, not daring to turn around yet. She lightly brushed herself off, composed herself and turned around ready to coolly move away.

"Oh my god! That can only have been DeAngelo! You always were such a klutz," a loud voice yelled towards Carla in between fits of laughter. She heard other laughter and realised several people had seen the embarrassing incident. Nice work Carla, she thought, great job at not making a fool of yourself. She had to act fast, instead of doing what she wanted to and crawl into a ball and die she turned to greet her audience with a laugh and a smile.