Understanding Oneself

I wake up. It's 5:58am. I know I won't be able to sleep more but I stay in bed, and in darkness, anyways. The warmth of the blanket is comforting.

5:59am. I wonder to myself if I should just call out sick and sleep all morning. My physical, and more importantly mental, health would benefit from it but on the other hand, I need to stay in good graces with thr people I wo-

A loud ringing disrupts my thoughts. My wrist vibrates. It's 6am.

I get up, I get dressed, I go to the toilet and don't bother looking into the mirror it doesn't feel right to. I brush my teeth, turning my back towards it.

Why does looking at myself feel....wrong?

I don't bother thinking too long on it, I have to get ready and get my ass to work. I have a meagre breakfast of my dad's selfmade bread with butter and a shitty cup of coffee.

It's 6:40 now, I grab my lunch and a bottle of water and throw it into my backpack. I grab my E-Scooter and leave my apartment.

Outside is cold, and on my way to the train station I realise:

I forgot my helmet.

Too late to worry about that. The train is coming in, I get on, I listen to music. I change the train, I listen to music. My stop is coming up, I take off the headphones, and get ready to get off the train.

I get off and start on my journey to work.

It's icy and windy. The sun is barely up and it is hard to see.

Then it happens. I try to take a corner and instead I go straight, there's a truck, i slam into it face first, I see the sky, then the road.

Then nothing.

And then a bright light.