Ultimate Fantasies: Fuck Your Favorite Celebrity!

DISCLAIMER: As always, this story is entirely fictitious, it’s strictly unsuitable for anyone under 18 and exactly none of the people, events or anything else described are intended to bear even the faintest resemblance to real life.

...Which would be difficult in any case, since this story can literally be about anyone you like. More on that in just a moment...

Hey there, weary traveller. Thanks for stopping by.

This is a Christmas story. But much like a freshly frozen turkey sandwich, it can be enjoyed all year round (assuming you don’t give a fuck about taste, texture or propriety, and let’s face it, friend, you’re browsing for erotic stories on the internet).

…We’re also doing things a little differently this year.

My last entry in the Ultimate Fantasies series – in which you, the protagonist, meet, fuck and fall in love with Emma Watson – was pretty sharply specific. And while specificity is awesome, there’s one tiny problem with that: if Emma doesn’t do it for you, there might not be much incentive to click.

To which I say, fair play, fella, there’s no accounting for taste. So to shake things up a bit, I’m putting you in charge of which roof our wicked little sleigh lands on this year.

That’s right – this story is fully customizable, baby! Just click up in the top-right corner and type in your personal dream fuck, and BANG, she’ll appear through the magic of Christmas (and, um, HTML coding). If you do it right, the lady in question should show up right here:

“Daisy Ridley is a famous actress with brown hair, brown eyes and a lovely pair of 32B tits.”

So until the Choose Your Own Dream Machines appear on store shelves (which, HURRY THE FUCK UP, SCIENCE), this is as good as it gets! Enjoy the ride, you lovely people, and I hope this present fills you with comfort and good cheer.

Or, you know, maybe it’ll even make you nut one. Which sounds way better, let’s face it – when was the last time you got a gorgeous, naked celebrity for Christmas?

With fondest holiday wishes,
your friendly neighborhood writing monkey,

TheOptimisticDuck

P.S: THANK YOU FOR ALMOST A MILLION VIEWS ON ULTIMATE FANTASIES: EMMA WATSON! Seriously, that’s made my fuckin’ Christmas. x