{if day > 0} You have swiped on {pcount} profiles! {else} Welcome to Tinder Simulator! The goal of this game is simple (and don’t get me wrong, this is a game, so press Start Game on the side if you haven’t already): Hook up with all the chicks! You may even find yourself developing a personality by the end of it. When you’re ready, press End the Day on click the Sleep icon to begin your journey in the magical world of online dating. {endif} {if pcount == 0} Here’s your first profile! You can use the icons below to swipe left/right or simply use the links at the bottom of the page. {endif}

{if impossible == 1} Profile Block {endif}

{if pmode ==1} {endif}

{if pmode == 1} {if pcount == 0} Eliza {elseif pcount == 1} Sarah {elseif pcount == 2} Lily {elseif pcount == 3} Scarlett {elseif pcount == 4} Carmen {elseif pcount == 5} Penelope {elseif pcount == 6} Avery {elseif pcount == 7} Karen {elseif pcount == 8} Kasey {elseif pcount == 9} Amber {elseif pcount == 10} Skyler {elseif pcount == 11} Courtney {elseif pcount == 12} Lauren {elseif pcount == 13} Aika {elseif pcount == 14} Candy {elseif pcount == 15} Thalia {else} No more hot singles in your area. Check back later! {endif}

{if pcount ==0} {elseif pcount == 1} {elseif pcount == 2} {elseif pcount == 3} {elseif pcount == 4} {elseif pcount == 5} {elseif pcount == 6} {elseif pcount == 7} {elseif pcount == 8} {elseif pcount == 9} {elseif pcount == 10} {elseif pcount == 11} {elseif pcount == 12} {elseif pcount == 13} {elseif pcount == 14} {elseif pcount == 15} {endif}

{if pcount == 0} I’m looking for hot guys only! {elseif pcount == 1} DTF any1! HMU {elseif pcount == 2} tell me what you do for fun on the weekends x {elseif pcount == 3} Here for a good time not a long time!!! {elseif pcount == 4} Looking for a beach bod to match mine {elseif pcount == 5} Any sugar daddies out there? {elseif pcount == 6} Dreaming of good pasta~ {elseif pcount == 7} Will you play me some smooooth jazz? {elseif pcount == 8} You know you want to… {elseif pcount == 10} Want to know my mood? Check how the Raptors did yesterday {elseif pcount == 11} Ummm…. hi!? {elseif pcount == 12} My friends think I’m really funny {elseif pcount == 13} What was your favourite high school subject? :) :) :) {elseif pcount == 14} lmao @ this app {elseif pcount == 15} oh baby {endif}{endif} {if pmode == 2} {if pcount == 1} Eliza did not swipe on you. {elseif pcount == 2} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 3} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 4} Scarlett did not swipe on you. {elseif pcount == 5} Carmen did not swipe on you. {elseif pcount == 6} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 7} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 8} Karen did not swipe on you. {elseif pcount == 9} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 10} Amber did not swipe on you. {elseif pcount == 11} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 12} Courtney did not swipe on you. {elseif pcount == 13} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 14} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 15} Candy did not swipe on you. {elseif pcount == 16} It’s a match! {endif} {endif} {if pmode == 3} {if pcount == 2} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 3} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 6} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 7} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 9} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 11} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 13} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 14} It’s a match! {elseif pcount == 16} It’s a match! {endif} {endif}

{if impossible == 1} Dialogue Block {endif}
{if pmode == 3} {if pcount == 2} {if dstage == 0} How will you begin the conversation with Sarah? {elseif dstage == 1}You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?
Sarah: show me your cock
You: bigcock.jpg
Sarah: lol fuk yea come over bby
You: where u @?
Sarah: at home
You: ya but where
Sarah: 43 Leavealike street
You: be there in 15 {endif} {elseif pcount == 3} {if dstage == 0} How will you begin the conversation with Lily? {elseif dstage == 1} You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?
Lily: No.
Lily: What the fuck.
Lily: You creep. {elseif dstage == 2} You: “You can find me at a small bookshop, gaming at home, or on the street performing magic tricks”
Lily: Yawn.
Lily: Fuckin’ nerd.
Lily: Bye. {elseif dstage == 3} You: “Catch me shooting hoops, hiking, or just hitting the gym”
Lily: Wow.
Lily: Fuckin’ jock.
Lily: Bye. {endif} {elseif pcount == 6} {if dstage == 0} Penelope: So, tell me what you do for work!

How will you respond? {elseif dstage == 1} Penelope: So, tell me what you do for work!
You: Ay bby u want sum fuk? {elseif dstage == 4} Penelope: So, tell me what you do for work!
You: I scrub toilets
Penelope: Eww fucking gross {endif} {elseif pcount == 7} {if dstage == 1} You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?
Avery: Fuck off {elseif dstage == 5} You: Send nudes
Avery: Wut
Avery: You first
You: hotguywithabs.jpg
Avery: hot damn
Avery: you’ll get something soon ;p
…
…
…

You: Shiiit gimme more
Avery: lol nah
Avery: You’re just a thirsty prick {endif} {elseif pcount == 9} {if dstage == 1} You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?
Kasey: check my onlyfans KaseyKrystal!!! {elseif dstage == 5} You: Send nudes
Kasey: check my onlyfans KaseyKrystal!!! {endif} {if dstage > 0}

You do the only natural thing and check her onlyfans. As expected, she’s got a page. The only question is: are you willing to pay the $5 subscription fee? {endif} {elseif pcount == 11} {if dstage == 1} You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?

Skyler has unmatched you. {elseif dstage == 5} You: Send nudes
Skyler: ha, ya right, in your dreams

Skyler has unmatched you. {elseif dstage == 6} You: So you beat the Pacers tonight… tell me, does that feel any good?
Skyler: hey a dub’s a dub
Skyler: I’m still gonna party today
You: You never need a reason to party
You: Especially if you’re a Raptors fan
Skyler: rude!
Skyler: who do you support?
You: You know it’s the Magic
(in reality, you don’t really watch basketball. But hey, Magic is cool and besides…)
Skyler: oh shit we’re playing in a couple days
You: Bet you my team wins
Skyler: no way no way
Skyler: I’m gonna be so sad if we lose
You: We should watch together
Skyler: mmm
Skyler: know any good spots?

You frantically google a sports bar in the area and send her the name
Skyler: good taste
Skyler: see ya there
Skyler: be ready to LOSE big time

Huh. That went well. You scored yourself a date!
The only problem is… you know next to nothing about sports. You’d better be ready by the time the game rolls around. {endif} {elseif pcount == 13} {if dstage == 1} You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?
Lauren: wow you’re a real loser, aren’t you

Lauren has unmatched you. {elseif dstage == 5} You: Send nudes
Lauren: wow you’re a real loser, aren’t you

Lauren has unmatched you. {endif} {elseif pcount == 14} {if dstage == 1} You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?

Aika has unmatched you. {elseif dstage == 5} You: Send nudes

Aika has unmatched you.
{elseif dstage == 7} You: Geography!
Aika: oooohh I love geography too!
You: what’s your favourite geography fact?
Aika: hmmmmmm
Aika: oh!
Aika: did you know Mexico City is sinking because it’s partially built over a lake?
You: wow
You: I knew about the lake but not about the sinking
Aika: hehe yea
Aika: what’s your favourite fact?
You: the city of Brest is located in France, but it’s visible from here ;)
Aika: how??
Aika: ohhhhhh
Aika: here you go

You: shit girl
You: come over and I’ll show you a good time

…

Aika: you are so pushy

Aika has unmatched you. {elseif dstage == 8} You: Gym!
Aika: hmmmmm
Aika: seriously?

Aika has unmatched you. {endif} {elseif pcount == 16} {if dstage == 1} You: Ay bby u want sum fuk?
Thalia: fuck yeaaaa
Thalia: hold up one sec

This user has been banned from Tinder. {elseif dstage == 5} You: Send nudes
Thalia: you braindead or something

Thalia has unmatched you. {elseif dstage == 9} You: You need a third cock in you
Thalia: looool
Thalia: you wanna be it?
You: Oh you know it
Thalia: hold up one sec

This user has been banned from Tinder. {endif}{endif} {endif}
{if impossible == 1} Action Block {endif}
{if pmode == 4} {if pcount == 2} You show up to Sarah’s house fifteen minutes later. It’s in the shitty part of town. Well, one of the shitty parts of town. Your neighbourhood certainly qualifies for that title too. Anyways. You ring the doorbell and Sarah opens the door a minute later, looking smoking hot.

“Shit,” you say. “You’re a damn hot girl, you know that?”

“Of course I am,” she smiles, pulling her dress down low, exposing her pert black tits.

“Like the view, John?” she asks.

“More than you could know,” you reply.

Then you jump her, groping her tight ass as you press your lips against hers. The two of you make out for a good minute or two, but you didn’t come all this way just to lock lips. You’re hungry for more and so you her down to her knees by the couch.

“Suck.”

Your command is met by her widened eyes.

“Such a horny fucker,” Sarah gasps as you drop your pants, your stiff rod floating before her face.

She places a hand onto your cock and gives a few tentative strokes, before she opens up her mouth, staring up at you as she takes in your length.

Her hot lips are wrapped tight around you. You moan as she works you over, fast little nods of head teasing your glans, giving you all the pleasure you could hope for. This black babe is good at giving head. Makes sense, given her Tinder profile. She’s probably practiced on more cocks than a factory farm’s got. You grip her shoulders hard as she continues to give you her full attention, her tongue a devious thing that slides over your length, sending a shiver of pleasure through your underside.

Your cock stands fully erect now, a good half of it poking out of her mouth. She speeds up, taking in more of your length at the same time, until she’s all but fully engulfed you. It’s not quite a deepthroat, but the technique is good enough that you feel yourself coming close all the same. Time to cut this short before you prematurely burst your load.

“Get on the couch,” you say, slapping the cheap thing with an unsatisfying thud.

“I need you inside me,” Sarah says, rubbing her pussy.

She gets a condom and puts it on your cock with care, giving it a few nice tugs while she’s at it.

“I’ve been waiting for a good cock all day,” she says, stroking your fella. “This one’s just right.”

Apparently she doesn’t realise you sent her a photoshopped image, even after taking the whole thing into her mouth. Just goes to show… something, you guess.

And then you push her down on the couch and stuff your cock inside of her and all is good.

Within moments the two of you are going hard, your cock puk-puk-puk-ing in and out of her pussy like a piston. There are no illusions about playing nice in this hookup. You just slam into Sarah with all that you’ve got. Your balls slap against her hot ass with such that you keep a hand on her waist, holding the two of you together. With your other hand, you grasp her black mane, forcing an arch out of her back as she begins to moan in pleasure.

“That’s the spot!” she cries out, her face flushed from the fucking.

“You’re so tight!” you lie, because she’s not really all that tight, not that you were expecting a virginal hole or anything.

“Bull-shit,” Sarah says.

“You’re so hot!” you say next, because at least that’s true.

“Fuck yeah,” she screams, your cock striking her depths.

Damn this is good. You need to do this more often.

Then, because you were already close from the blowjob, and because the sex is sex, you cum.

“So soon?” Sarah complains, while you’re still shuddering and riding the high of the orgasm, seeing stars in your eyes.

You pull out your limp member and give her an apologetic smile.

“Can’t help it,” you say.

“Tell me you’re going to get me off,” she says, folding her hands over her bare tits, denying you the great sight.

“Nope, gotta run,” you say quickly. “Have uh… work to do.”

Which is a lie. You were planning to go back and swipe on more profiles.

“Fuck you,” she says, giving you the finger, before throwing you out of her house.

Hey, not bad for your first Tinder “date”! {elseif pcount == 9} You know what? This lady is pretty hot. Seeing her body is well worth the $5, even if you’re lowkey broke. You press the subscription and are greeted by the sight of her marvellous tits.

Not bad. Not bad at all. You begin to stroke yourself off, gazing lustfully at her bared breasts. Hot damn. You’d love to stick your cock in that sexy valley and fuck those tits. Or her mouth. Those painted red lips could drive any man wild. And then there’s the way she’s playing with her panties… oh, please be a photo where she’s taken them off.

That’s it. That’s the shit. Kasey is presenting herself so invitingly to you… almost as if she wants you to stick her cock in you. That’s what she wants, right? All the things you would do to her if she were in the room with you right now. You stroke yourself faster, feeling yourself growing closer to your climax.

You stop yourself. You have a brilliant idea.

You: I paid for your onlyfans
You: My username is John-with-the-big-cock
You: Want me to show it off?
You: I can come over any time

You give it five minutes, continuing to stroke yourself off to a picture of her fingering herself.

Then you get mad when she doesn’t respond.

You: yo why you ghosting me
You: bitch

Kasey has unmatched you.

Did you just get scammed? You pace around the room, cock in your hand, pissed at her.

Then, you realise that you’re the fool. What did you think? That paying for her nudes meant that you’d get to have sex with her? Yeah. You deserved this. At least the pics were decent. {endif} {endif}
{if impossible == 1} Snark Text {endif}
{if pcount == 0} {if pmode == 1} Here’s your first profile! Will you swipe right (and potentially match with her) or swipe left (and reject her)? {endif} {endif} {if pcount == 1} {if pmode == 2} Oh, what a shame. Guess you’re not hot. Yet. When you fail to match with someone, press End the Day to return to the main swiping screen. {endif} {endif} {if pcount == 2} {if pmode == 2} {if dstage == 0} Guess she really is Down To Fuck anybody. Choose to Start the conversation, or End the Day if you’re no longer interested in her. {endif} {elseif pmode == 3} {if dstage ==0} You’ll unlock better dialogue options later. Maybe. {endif} {endif} {endif} {if pcount == 3} {if pmode==3} {if dstage == 0} Choose your words wisely… {else} Lily has unmatched you.

Oh well. Tough luck {endif} {endif} {endif} {if pcount == 6} {if pmode==3} {if dstage == 1} Penelope has unmatched you.

Are you even surprised?{elseif dstage == 4} Penelope has unmatched you.

Not a surprise… but you now have a job!
Toilet cleaner: gain +10 money. Moves forward 1 day, 1 profile will be skipped. {endif} {endif} {endif} {if pcount == 7} {if pmode==3} {if dstage > 0} Avery has unmatched you. {endif} {endif} {endif} {if pcount == 11} {if pmode == 1} Unlocked new option: Watch a sports game. Grants you +1 Sporty, skips 1 profile and 1 day. {endif} {endif} {if pcount == 15} {if pmode == 1} Unlocked new option: Read a book. Grants you +1 Nerdy, skips 1 profile and 1 day. {endif} {endif}