The love guru

I wanted to become a guru to get love from women . I had to make many sacrifices , the worst being at age 12 having to wear a chastity device ! This was terrible I couldn’t jerk off which was my favorite hobby then , emptying my constantly loaded loins to playboys until I made big boy wee-wee. This belt was not comfortable boners hurt and made a loud noise and it not only separated my balls it didn’t protect them !

33 years later an angry midget punched my crotch although the belt hurt him from the outside, inside my cum clogged conkers were clocked, damn dwarf decked my Dinkbag . A right hook to my big bloated hairy stretched BALLS! He jabbed my jewels. He crippled my unborn children !

He pounded my privates , my precious pubic pouch .

I deserved it , I made some very cruel jokes .

I should’ve known not to mess with someone who stands at level to your groin