The Glove

This day could've started out good if I didn't doubt my friend. He came home after clubbing all night and says he found a glove that had incredible powers. Wouldn't you believe him the first time? Of course not.

But the talkative guy that he is, he pitches it to me like a sales guy. He tells me the power of the glove gave him the power to slap whatever out of someone. Well, he walked home after leaving the club. Already, he had the glove on his hand. He says he walks up to a homeless man and says, "I'll slap the sense out of you!"

The homeless guy gets up and says, "You looking for a fight?"

"Maybe," my friend says. What a stupid answer. He catches the guy by surprise and slaps him with the gloved hand. What he tells me next is weird. He tells me the guy didn't hit back. He simply walked out off the sidewalk and into the path of a bus, killing him. Was he trying to say that he had slapped the common sense out of this homeless dude? And the next moment, the guy has no sense to look both ways before jaywalking? That's absurd.

Then he says he'll prove it. Like he'll slap the sense out of me. Boy, was I dead wrong. He tells me the keyword is, "I'll Slap..." and so on and so on. He also tells me that he can add things rather than slapping things out. He tells me of another story where he slapped a girl's booty, saying he'll slap the ass into that... well ass. He tells me the girl's ass gets bigger, enough that even Miley Cyrus would be jealous when competing in a twerk battle with her.

I still don't believe him, but I sure wish I did.