The Gay Agenda

Sam is an all-American son. He plays football for the high school. He mows the lawn every Thursday. He’s not the smartest guy, but he’s got nice muscles and cute dimples and great hair.

On weekends he watches World War movies with his dad. On weeknights he washes the dishes after dinner. When his mother needs help gardening, Sam happily gets down in the dirt.

So what’s the problem? What went wrong?

Today, Sam’s parents knocked on his bedroom door and invited him to the living room for a serious chat.

“I don’t know how to put this,” his father says, looking to his wife for help. His lips twitch as they search for words. “Your mother and I have thought long and hard, but–”

“We wanted a gay son,” Sam’s mother says, getting straight to the point. “After eighteen years, we hoped that you would find your way there. But it appears not.”

Sam sits in the armchair, looking back and forth between his parents. He’s confused. What do they mean, they wanted a gay son? Is it bad that Sam is straight?

“I’m sorry,” Sam says, scratching his head. “I think?”

Sam likes to help his parents. That’s what a good son does. But there’s nothing he can do to help them with this. Sam is heterosexual. Straight as a pencil. He’s had sex with girls and enjoyed it. He’s never had sex with guys and that’s perfectly fine with him.

“But we found a solution,” Sam’s father says, cracking a smile.