The Alien Princess' Pet

I lean back in my seat, fingers criss-crossed behind my head as I stare at the uncooperative code. I seriously have no idea why in the hell it's not working, but it's not, and it's starting to tick me off.

“You okay?”

I cast a glance at my coworker and sigh. “Code's not working. Not sure why. I think I have an idea as to why, but I hope I'm wrong.”

“Why's that?” They wheel their chair over to take a look.

I start rubbing my eyes, and launch into an explanation of my thought process, and why I think I may need to extract some of the code into its own separate project to run as a service in the background. It takes almost two minutes to get it all out, but once I do, they don't reply with anything, so I look over inquisitively -

Oh.

Oh, dear.

I am… NOT at work anymore.

I am in what looks like...a surgical theater? And the air smells very different. Also, I feel a bit… Lighter.

“You're right, these things ARE self-absorbed. Didn't even stop talking when we imported it into the body.” The voice comes from seemingly nowhere, but it has a distinctive quality to it that makes it sound like it came out of a speaker. It sounds… Almost human.

“Yeah, perfect pet for her Highness,” a second, deeper voice chimes in. Once again, it sounds like it's coming from a speaker.

“Uhh...Hi?” I look around, trying to find the source of the voices. I attempt to stand, but only make it part way before my legs turn into jello, and I'm to sit back down with a huff of unexpected exhaustion. It feels almost as if I'm tied to the chair, but not restrained in it - it's truly bizarre. “Hello? Could… Could someone explain to me what's going on?” I feel panic slowly rising.

“Oh, great, we've got a slow one,” the first voice grumbles.

“Like I said - perfect for her Highness,” the second voice mutters.

“Hi - could you answer my question, please?”

“For the love of -” there's a sharp ringing, as if someone is fumbling with a microphone. “We'll be right with you, okay? Just… Do whatever it is you humans do to pass time.”

“Humans?” I swallow, my eyes darting between the tinted glass panels that surround me. “As in… You're not humans?”

It all clicks into place. I've been by aliens!

“Oh, look, it's figured it out,” comes a snide remark.

“Oh, go fuck yourself,” I instinctively retort.

“Oh, it's got some bite! Might have to neuter it.”

I cringe, and I realize that I can't tell whether or not they're joking.

However, that realization actually calms me - these entities clearly have some kind of concept of humor, and distinct personalities. So I haven't been by some cold, analyzing race that will probe and dissect me.

Okay, I need to calm down, and figure out what's going on - because clearly, these two aren't going to tell me anything.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I focus on my thoughts.

So, I've been by aliens - how? I wasn't pulled up, obviously - it was an instantaneous transition, and one that I didn't even notice.

So, was I teleported? Possibly, but I doubt it - they'd probably have to transport me from their teleporter to this surgical room, which, once again, wouldn't be instantaneous. Unless they managed to teleport me into restraints.

Whatever. That's a fun thought exercise, but I doubt I'll get the answer myself, and it's not what really matters. What matters is why.

They said something about a monarch, but I didn't really catch it - I think the word “pet” was in there, but I can't really be sure…

“Your vitals are nominal - we're sending in the debriefing team now.” I open my eyes excitedly - I'm going to get answers!

“That means that you're healthy, and that we're going to fill you in, okay?”

The patronizing tone makes me clench my jaw. “I know what that means,” I mutter.

“Of course you do.”

I have to bite my tongue and just roll with the punches. Lord knows what they're capable of…

A near-silent hiss catches my attention. I look up to find that a door has opened just ahead of me, and that two aliens are walking through, one noticeably taller than the other.

They look… Remarkably human. Not that that's very surprising - humans evolved like we did for a reason, right?

Anyway, there are definitely some distinctive differences. First off, their skin is completely different from a humans in appearance. The taller of the two has green skin, and the other has deep blue skin. They're wearing clothes that closely resemble what you'd expect a human to wear to a business meeting. I can't tell if that's because it's their style of clothing, or if it's their attempt to appear more familiar.

“Hello! My name, in a way you can understand it, is Polu,” the shorter of the two aliens introduces themselves. “My associate is named Rulon.” The taller, Rulon, nods in friendly acknowledgement.

“Uhhh… Hi? I'm Peter. It's… Nice to meet you, Polu. Rulon.”

Polu smiles warmly. “Excellent. Now, I'm sure you have quite a few questions. Before that, however, Rulon will walk you through the basics. Rulon?”

Rulon smiles, dipping their hands into their pockets. “Well, Peter, as I'm sure you've already surmised, your are on a planet different from your own, referred to as Resilon. The species that inhabits this planet - of which we are examples - are referred to as the Ygron. And, to settle any curiosity you have - both Polu and myself are male.”

Oh, thank goodness - I was getting tired of trying to figure that shit out.

“The first thing to address is that your are a copy of yourself - the original you is still on Earth, and your life will carry on as expected,” Rulon explains. That's comforting - in a way. “However, a copy of you has been acquired, as you were selected from a pool of viable candidates by our Queen to be kept as her personal pet for her daughter.” He smiles warmly and pauses before asking if I have any questions.

“Uhhh, yeah, a few,” I reply incredulously. “First off, what the fuck do you mean, I'm a pet?”

“I can answer that,” Polu interjects. “We mean that the Princess has become fascinated with humans - she finds your kind cute, and simple.” Ouch. “As such, she requested that she be given a human as a pet.”

“I can imagine there were a few tantrums thrown during the ‘requesting’ phase,” I mutter. If alien rich kids are anything like human rich kids, then I expect this princess to be incredible entitled…

“I would request that in the future, you show respect for your new Princess and owner,” Rulon warns me. The word “owner” almost makes me vomit in my mouth.

“Any other questions?”

I can think of a million, but at the same time, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to some of them. For example, can I go home - I would assume that, as a copy, going home would be both foolish and dangerous.

I would also love to ask some technical questions and figure out a bit of the science, but I don't think these are the guys to ask that kind of stuff.

So, I go for the easiest question.

“Why did the Queen choose me? And why was I a viable candidate?”

“First off, you have genetic anomalies present in very few humans that allow for us to make the necessary tweaks to the clone that a copy of your mind is imported into such that you have a very low - effectively 0% - chance of contracting a disease that does not originate on Earth.

“Second, you have a tendency to learn new languages quickly, and we could exploit that tendency to make you fluent in our language, such that you don't notice the differences between our languages.

“Finally, you have a very low number of personal relationships, either familial or otherwise, and as such we do not expect you to undergo a period of mourning your lost connections.”

So, basically, what Rulon is saying is that I'm a freaky, nerdy, loser. Nice.

“As to why the Queen chose you, she kept the details of her decision to herself,” Polu informs me.

After I decline to ask any more questions, they have a technician with yellow skin come in to release me from my chair. I can't help but notice that the technician has what appears to be breasts - meaning that the differences between males and females are about the same for the Ygron as they are for humans.

The two aliens lead me out of the room, through an absolute maze of hallways, and to a room where they give me a new set of clothes to wear. I hadn't noticed, but I was in what is essentially a more modest hospital gown, and a pair of typical hospital slippers.

The clothes they supply me with are, surprisingly, very similar to the clothes I would usually wear at home. In fact, I'm decently sure they're near-perfect replicas - a pair of jeans and a decently nice shirt. Hell, even the underwear, socks, and shoes are the same - down to the orthotic inserts for the shoes!

“You're going to be meeting the Queen and the Princess soon,” Polu informs me. “The Princess insisted upon meeting you in your usual attire.”

They give me some privacy to change in a small room with a mirror. It's strange having clothes that I'm so comfortable in, and yet feel so foreign.

When I step out of the changing room, I ask if there's anything I should know, or any way I should behave.

“Just act natural - the Princess wants to see you as you usually behave,” Rulon explains.

“And what should I call them?”

“They will introduce themselves.”

“Cool - thanks.” I take deep breath, steeling myself for what's to come. “Okay - I'm ready.”

With that, we walk through another maze of hallways. And then into what appears to be an underground parking lot. And then I stop at what looks like a car, but clearly has no emissions - no exhaust pipe is visible anywhere on the vehicle.

“This should be about a half hour ride,” Polu informs me. “And this is where we leave you - our associate, John, will accompany you there.” An alien gets out of the car and smiles warmly in greetings.

I'm a bit taken aback by the name, and evidently, it shows. John smiles at me. “You'd be surprised how many names are common across species,” he informs me. “You may even meet a few people named Peter here.”

Huh. Weird.

I say goodbye to Polu and Rulon, and duck into the car. John joins me in the back seat, which is quite spacious and comfortable, and engages me in some high-level conversation about the culture of the planet. The car pulls away, and I feel like I've left my stomach behind - my entire life has just changed in an instant. I really have no idea how to react to any of this.

I take a deep breath, and decide that the best thing to do right now is just kind of go with it.

During the first length of the ride, which is entirely underground, John fills me in on the basics of the society here.

Apparently, people live relatively similar lives to that of humans - with the notable exception of the lack of any ongoing disputes. Apparently, the entire species has moved beyond the need for wars. From the tone of John's voice, it seems to be more propaganda than reality, however.

I notice that what seems to be natural light is leaking into the tunnel we find ourselves in, and I begin to pay rapt attention to what I can see through the window. I can't believe I'm going to see an alien planet!

As soon as the car pulls out of the tunnel and into the air, I'm struck by how… Familiar it looks. The sky is a beautiful shade of blue, there are trees with green leaves everywhere, and there are birds soaring through the sky, so high up that you'd be forgiven for thinking they were from Earth.

The only things that remind me that I'm not, in fact, on Earth, are that I don't recognize the trees at all - they have leaves that seem to be almost tubular. Additionally, there's the presence of aliens of various skin colors, from black to white and red to blue, walking around on what look like typical city streets. Just… Significantly cleaner. And a lot more modern.

“This is the capital city of the planet,” John explains. “It goes by a few names - its actual name is Rens, but it's often referred to as just The Capital.”

“Makes sense,” I mutter, only half-listening as I crane my neck to see more of the buildings. They're almost all high-rises, and they're all beautiful! It's incredibly stunning.

“It's beautiful…”

“Isn't it?” John grins with pride. “I love this city. I was born and raised here - it's had its ups and downs, but it's always been beautiful.”

The rest of the ride passes with me asking basic questions about the culture, the food, the businesses - stuff that I'm only realizing now might be super important if I want to live in this society.

“You're not expected to get a job or anything you know,” John interrupts me. “You'll essentially be a member of the Royal family. You'll be a pet.”

I nod, but keep asking questions. I still want to know more!

After about thirty minutes of John tolerating my questions, we pull into another underground parking lot. John and I exit the car, and I'm about to thank the driver when I notice that the car is self-driving. Neat.

John leads me through yet another maze of hallways, and we eventually arrive before a set of opulent doors.

“Ready?” John asks. “This is the main hall - you're about to meet what will essentially be your new family.”

I take a deep breath before nodding, and exiting the car. Two guards pull open the doors, and I step through, my mind ablaze with fears, anxieties, and hopes for a bright future.