Sugar-Mommy

"Are you old enough to be buying this?" The scrutinizing old lady sneered as she held onto the pack of cold beers in her hand.

You gave a groan, before telling her, "Like it says on my ID on the table, I was born in 1997. I am well over the legal age to buy and drink ."

The old lady gave a dismissive glance-over at your driver's license, before curling her arms and saying flatly, "I don't think this is a real ID."

This wasn't the first time you've ever experienced this, and this certainly won't be the last time either.

Your name is John Doe, and you are short. Short enough that people still mistake you as a middle-schooler, which SUCKS TO NO FUCKING END. It doesn't help that you can't seem to grow a beard to save your life, so no matter how long you wait, you'll never look old enough to be considered an adult in the eyes of society. It'll take well over fifty years when you finally get your first wrinkle when people will stop thinking you're some kind of baby boy.

Until then, though, you're stuck dealing with this shit.

"Look lady, if you actually take more than ten seconds to properly look at the ID, you'd see it's legitimate. I graduated from college last year, with a bachelor's degree in computer graphic design. I own and drive my own car, I am legally allowed to own a gun to protect myself, and I should be old enough to buy a god damn six-pack at my local gas station!" You explained with growing frustration, "Just because I'm 5 foot and 3 inches tall, that does not mean I don't have a right to get drunk!"

"Well I don't believe a single word." She said snootily, before putting the six-pack behind the counter. "I don't know how you managed to get your hands on this fake license, but you won't fool me. I know an underage hooligan when I see one, and I've never been wrong before. You shouldn't be allowed until you ACTUALLY reach the age you claim to be, so skedaddle before I'm to call your parents."

"I LIVE ALONE IN MY OWN APARTMENT, YOU HAG!" Was what you wanted to scream into her face, but decided against it.

You were too tired to be dealing with this shit. You knew you should have gone to the supermarket instead. The cashiers there don't care enough to doubt your age, so you always managed to get your hands on a cold one before the day ends. You wanted a quicker and easier way to buy them, but if this lady was going to be that much of a headache, it's not worth it.

"Whatever, I'm not coming back here ever again." You grumbled, before reaching your hand out, "Just give me my license back."

"Uh-uh, no siree, young man!" She pulled the ID away from your grasp, "This license is fake, and I'm not going to let you try to pull the same trick on another unsuspecting adult who doesn't know or care. Let this be a lesson to you for trying to lie! You should feel lucky I don't report this to the police!" Then she shooed you away with a disdained, "Now skedaddle, you urchin!"

You felt an eye twitch as your stress levels grew to unsustainable levels.

God, did you want to tear this old lady a new hole. You hate this feeling of being treated like a child so much. So so so so SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH! But this wasn't the worst scenario you've ever faced. You've dealt with worse, and this old hag was nothing compared to all the other people you've met in your life.

"You have no legal authority to withhold my license from me. For that, you don't need to bother calling the police, because I'll be doing it on both of our behalves." You said calmly, as you pulled your phone out and dialed your local police department.

Thinking you were bluffing, she gave an arrogant laugh, "HAH! Fine by me! Just don't be surprised when the officer comes in to lock you up for faking an ID and trying to buy while underage!"

---

"Nope, it's real." The officer said as he came back into the store.

You had a very smug smile as the officer handed you back your license right in front of an indignant and shocked cashier attendant.

"What the hell do you mean it's real?! THIS PERSON IS CLEARLY A CHILD!" She practically screamed, "Are you blind?!"

"Don't scream in my face, ma'am." The officer said neutrally, before explaining, "We checked his records and it came back legit. There shouldn't be any problems from here on."

"NO! THERE IS A PROBLEM!" The old lady continued screaming as she walked around the counter, "I demand you to check it again! You obviously made a mistake! He's too young to have an ID and too young to buy ! You're going to encourage him to keep using it buy more and more, possibly to give to his other underage hooligan friends! He might be part of a gang or worse!"

"Ma'am, you need to calm down right now. The kid here isn't breaking any laws, so there's nothing else I can do." The officer stated with finality.

It irked you at the way he called you a kid despite being proved otherwise, but you kept your mouth shut because you already won the case. Nothing else to do but to soak in the bitter tears of a pompous adult being proven wrong.

"Well if you won't do anything, then it's up to me!" The lady said, before turning to you and demanding, "Who are your parents? I demand to call them and let them know what you're doing!"

The officer stepped in before you did anything, reassuring you, "You're under no obligation to reveal anything to her, she has no legal authority to demand anything from you."

"No no, it's cool." You waved him away as you lazily pocketed your hands and leaned on the counter, "555-555-5540. That's my parent's home number. Go ahead and call them. See what happens."

"I absolutely will!" The hag harrumphed, before pulling out her phone and dialing the number down.

---

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT LYING?!" She began screaming a few minutes later.

"Like I just said, he's a college graduate who's already living on his own." You heard your mom speak back tiredly with the sounds of dishes being scrubbed heard in the background, "If he wants to buy beer, then he can do what he wants. He doesn't need my permission anymore since he can look after himself. If you still don't believe me, just call the police and see what they have to say."

"Sorry to bother you again, Mom!" You spoke up apologetically.

"No problem, sweetheart. Remember to pick up your sister later after her cheerleading practice is over." Your mom reminded you before the phone hung up.

The old hag completely flabbergasted, the officer awkwardly looked at a clock and said, "Welp, hopefully, if this is over now, I'll be going back on my rounds."

"NO! This is obviously just an irresponsible parent neglecting her duties as a responsible adult figure as she lets her hooligan of a son do whatever he wants! Or worse, just one of his hooligan friends pretending to be his mother!"

Oh my god, this woman had to be the worst case you've ever had to deal with. How was she still this stubborn?

"Okay, now you're just being unreasonable." The officer stated bluntly.

We've all passed the point of unreasonable with her, you were pretty sure.

"If you're not going to do your duty as a police officer, then fine!" The hag muttered as she rolled her sleeves up and walked menacingly towards you, "It's up to me as an American citizen to do my moral duty and take matters into my own hands!"

"Oh god, please don't come near me you pyscho-lady." You groaned annoyingly, slowly stepping away.

"You give me that fake license right now, buster! Or else I'll have to discipline you the same way my mother disciplined me when I started causing trouble!" She said threateningly.

Without complaint and under threat, you hand the license back to her.

She roughly took it out of your hands and pocketed it away, before curling her arms up, "There! Now you won't be able to trick anyone else into letting you buy beer!"

Let's see, the store has at least two cameras to record the whole debacle, you have an officer of the law as your witness, and she has no valid plausible deniability- this will do.

Turning to the police officer, you simply called out, "Officer, I'd like to report and press charges against this woman for threatening me with and stealing my driver's license."

The officer gave a sigh, before pulling out a taser and aiming it at the old lady, "FREEZE! HANDS IN THE AIR AND BODY UP AGAINST THE COUNTER! You are under arrest for committing threats of and theft of personal property!"

The old lady gave a look of complete shock and terror as she saw the taser being aimed straight at her saggy tits. Unable to react, she could only surrender with her hands up and follow the officer's instruction.

While the officer quickly handcuffed the lady as he told her the Miranda rights, he quickly pulled your ID out of her pocket and tossed it over to you. You caught it and gave a grateful smile in response.

The lady could only give you a long, cold hard-stare in contempt as she was forcefully taken away from the premises. You cheerfully waved goodbye at her, remembering to respect your elders and to mind your manners.

Now that this whole shitshow was finally over, you tossed a couple of bucks on the counter and grabbed your beer-case before finally walking back to your apartment. Hopefully, this meant that the next time you come here, whoever that replaces her will be much less harsh and scrutinizing when it comes to the question of your age.

With a gleeful step, your walk back home was a pleasant one. You didn't even notice a different woman staring at you from afar under her sunglasses and bonnet.

She pushed her glasses down and gave a smile, seeing you exit the gas station in such as spirits.

As you left her line of sight, she proceeded to push her sunglasses back up and walk away as well, reminding herself to come here tomorrow to see if she could catch you again.

Next week would be the week that would change your life forever, as you find out a new kink that you never thought was hidden inside you all along.

---

Uploading this just in case I die of corona-virus. I didn't want any unfinished or unpublished work to be left if I ever bit the dust. Hopefully, someone has an idea to take this further, because I sure don't, and I might not ever again.