SCP XXK-Class Scenario

Unaware to anyone on this planet, a powerful (and horny) reality bender altered the entirety of our dimension, and made it so that all SCPs have a sexual twist to them. Thus, the SCP Foundation had been formed to protect the world from these anomalously horny beings and objects. In practice, the Foundation has become the haven of the most sexually perverted people, hogging these SCPs for themselves.

Other organisations do exist, such as the Global Occult Coalition, who seek to eradicate these sexual creations (and are thus considered prudes), Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd, who seek to profit off of the wealthy looking for ways to get their rocks off, and the Serpent's Hand, who seek to spread this sexual enlightenment throughout the world, so that all the world can become a sexually liberated and perpetually aroused paradise.

But whose story do you follow in this perverted universe?