Puppy Love

Holy shit. It’s the first day of college. I’m not ready for college! I haven’t even gotten laid yet. I was honestly the biggest dork in high school. I thought it’d be over by now, but college is really just a new beginning. Another chance to embarrass myself. I began my walk over to my first class of the day from my new apartment. My new college was Tippy University. The name sucks, I know, but it has a great biology program, that I’m hoping to get into.

On my walk to school, I noticed an old lady sitting on a bench, trying to reach something she had dropped on the ground, clearly struggling to do so. I quickly hurried over to pick it up for her. It seemed to be a very funny looking penny. Offaly old. I handed it to her. “Thank you young man. That was very kind of you! That’s a very special penny you know.”(reference to my other story, “The Lucky Penny” check it out!”.) I told the old lady it was no problem, and began to walk off before she stopped me.

“I’m serious,” she said, “its very rare to find nice young men like you helping out people like me these days. I sincerely appreciate it. I feel you deserve some kind of reward.” She pulled out of her purse a small glass bottle of bright red liquid, topped with a cork. “This is one of my very special potions. It will give you a new, carefree life, and help you view things in a different way. You’ll even be more fun and loveable.”

I was very confused. This lady had clearly lost her marbles, but she seemed nice, so you said thankyou and accepted her strange gift. You continued on to class, eyeing the strange liquid, wondering what it really was... and if you should take a swig?