Please Kill Me

Sonia is forty years old and is loathing that fact with an all consuming passion. Her body has recently taken to spreading out in all directions without permission while her twenty year old scrawny-as-a-twig daughter, Cloé, has grown up to be a lazy, selfish, ungrateful, demanding, argumentative bitch who it seems has absolutely no intention of leaving home, ever. Her husband fled their unhappy marriage years ago. Since then and despite her best efforts, Sonia's ended up a hard faced, middle aged, overweight, borderline alcoholic, slob of a woman with no real friends, a crappy job in a supermarket, debts she can't pay, a slum of a home and a future of further decline and degridation she'd right now rather die than face. Particularly those parts that include cellulite and the menopause.

Everyday, she prays things will change for the better only to find things getting worse with no end to her misery in sight. The only reason she hasn't killed herself already is that she can't trust herself to make a proper job of it. A botched suicide attempt would only make matters worse. People might say it's a cry for help but who's listening really? Who's going to step in and make all her nightmares go away? Surely, it's all hopeless.

To cheer herself up, Sonia reads the headline of the local newspaper: 'LOCAL WOMAN MURDERED, POLICE CONFIRM'. Of course, that's the answer. Afterall, men are always murdering women aren't they; some of them for fun. All she needs to do is find such a man and convince him that she's perfectly willing to let him kill her. She can't afford to pay him of course but she'll be happy for him to use her sexually in anyway he wishes as he kills her. Beggars can't be choosers afterall. He can even choose how he kills her. Her only demand on him is, once he starts killing her, he MUST finish the job no matter how much she might beg him not too; otherwise she'll report him to the police for attempted .

That's it then. It's decided. Suddenly, Sonia feels as if a great weight has been lifted from her. Okay, so getting snuffed might hurt a bit for a little while but surely being in pain will only make her more impatient to die. Anyway, the agony of a victim is only temporary whereas what she's suffering at the moment feels very permanent.

As for Cloé? Hmmmmm! Sonia gives this some thought. She doesn't give a shit about how her might impact on her daughter. Indeed, it might be fun to have Cloé killed too, if only to prevent her from making someone else's life a misery. That way, she could either tell herself she was leaving the world a better place, or at least die knowing she's amended the mistake of giving birth to Cloé on the first place.

With these happy thoughts whizzing around in her brain, Sonia turns off her bedside lamp and enjoys the best night's sleep she's had in years.