Personal Promotion

Sitting back in his office chair and exhaling a plume of smoke from his cigar, the overweight, middle-aged man looked down at the collection of photographs in his hand and back at the two lab techs who fidgeted nervously in front of his desk. The office was well lit by overhead florescent lights, the décor a combination of faux wood panelling and linoleum tiled floors one might expect from architecture from the mid-1970s. The walls were decorated with photos of the company’s past dealings and growth over the decades along with some photographs of the head in charge shaking hands with prominent figures. None of that was the center of focus for the three people in the room as the two scientists sitting at the front of the metal framed desk traded looks and pushed forward an envelope filled with documents and photographs for the man sitting opposite from them to pull close and look over. After a few minutes of reading and dropping the photos in front of him next to the file they came in so he could see them more closely, the man leaned forward and dashed some trailing ash from his cigar into the ashtray nearby before gesturing to the folder in front of him.

“So… What am I looking at here again?”

Trading looks again, the two lab techs looked back at their employer and eventually the tall, leaner of the two techs with balding grey hair and wearing a sky blue button shirt and black slacks, straightened his tie nervously and clasped his hands together in front of him to steel his nerves. Pointing towards the photos now splayed over the desk between the three there, the man began to explain himself.

“Well Mr. Fawkes, if you recall, our company was given the approval from the government to conduct experiments on a potential super soldier program they were offering grants to. Those photographs are of the twelve lab rats we injected with our experimental serum 3Y-R3 in the hopes of earning said grant.”

Sitting up, the other tech, a middle-aged woman wearing a mauve blouse and business skirt under her lab coat waved over to a select page from their research for context.

“We really thought we had something here sir. Using crispers to unlock portions of the subjects DNA we would single out from the host structure, it was designed to improve on the subject’s natural attributes such as strength, vitality, stamina. Turning the subject into a super version of itself.”

Looking back down at the photographs of reptiles either running circles in hamster wheels or sipping from overhanging bottles, the man raised an eyebrow and dashed his cigar again in front of the ashtray. “Right…”

Hearing his scepticism, the other scientist combed her fingers through her sweat slick black hair and straightened her glasses to join her cohort, standing up to point over the selected photos, plucking the pictures off the desk and pointing at specific features. “As you’ve read from our reports, our treatment we used to alter the lab rats in our possession did succeed in a way. The results were… Slow, we found that the body needed to adjust for a period and large amount of energy was needed to make the genetic adjustments for the changes to take effect. But over the course of just a few days it did just that.”

“Did it work like it was supposed to?”

Trading looks with each other, the two scientists shrugged apprehensively. “Was it supposed to make a dozen rats super strong, tough, and resilient to harm? Yes… Was it supposed to turn them all into scaly little monsters? No…”

Plucking a photo from the pile, the female scientist shimmied her shoulders as she spun the photo around for the other two to see. “I think they’re kind of cute really. They remind me of my pet gecko with that cute little grin and chubby little tails and…” Looking up from the photos to look back at the CEO and her co-worker, the scientist blushed hotly and gently placed the photos back in with the rest of the pile. “Shutting up now sir.”

““You said there were twelve lab rats, so why do I see eleven pictures of a bunch of lizards and one with an empty cage?” The boss said pointing towards one photograph showing a hole in an empty cage instead of the twelfth rat in question. Pointing towards one photograph showing the twelfth rat in question, what it showed instead was a rat cage pried open from the inside along with a timestamp of when it happened.

Trading looks again, the two scientists hesitated to give an answer until the man behind the desk tapped his finger on the smooth wooden surface, prompting the female scientist to kick her cohort forward and him to speak. “Uhm… It got out.”

Leaning back in his chair, the man folded his hands together and raised an eyebrow to the answer. “Got out?”

“We were starting the morning feedings when we found subject four’s cage ripped open and a broken window where it might have scurried out.”

“So, where the HELL is it now?!”

A cold sweat dripping down their necks and their complexion going pale, the female scientist quietly answered “We don’t know…”

Closing the folder of reports and photos, the man at the desk extended his arm out and slide the folder back to the two scientists and took a long-drawn inhale of his cigar, blowing a plume of smoke out the corner of his mouth and putting out the cigar at the ashtray of his desk.

“Then you better start KNOWING very quickly, otherwise we will have a bigger problem than vermin loose in the complex.”

“Y’yes sir.” “Right away sir.” Getting up from their seats and gathering their things, the two bowed slightly and practically scurried out the door and quickly speed walked down the hall back to their lab. On their way there, the two whispered to each other, trying to make sure no one else was listening in and keep attention off them, failing miserably while they did so.

“What the fuck are we going to do about this?!”

“How the hell do I know? Jeez this is a complete shitstorm! How were we supposed to guess that the formula was going to turn a bunch of rats into winged iguanas?”

“I just hope we find that thing soon, I’d hate to think the formula is still active in its system.”

“Oh that would turn this whole mess into a royal shitstorm!”

*

Meanwhile out in the middle of the woods one kilometer away…

“Huff… Huff… How much longer do I have to walk?” Panted the red-haired woman as she wiped her brow with the back of her hand.

Looking around the rough, wooded path, the heavy-set woman struggled breathing while continuing her hike down the trail. Tanya Embers HATED working out, not that she was lazy, far from it, she prided herself on being a very productive woman at work. But at her current physique, she reasoned trying to work out to get rid of her excess weight would have been like trying to carve a statue from a block of marble with a butter knife. At 5’7 and 327 pounds, she wasn’t hard to spot in the cubicles of her job, so much so the click of secretaries there had nicknamed her Tanya the butterball Turkey on account of her waddle and rotund figure.

Tired of the name calling and feeling bold, she dared them she could do anything they could do… Which is what led to her current predicament. Apparently, the ladies liked to jog, so they dared if she could keep up with them on their weekend jog through the 10-kilometer forest trail then they’d hold off on making ‘gobbling’ sounds behind her back during lunch. VERY quickly, it seemed Tanya was going to lose the bet when the three ladies had practically stride past her on the first kilometer alone, leaving her trying and failing to catch up and now left to a defiant yet slow walk the rest of the way. At least 2 hours had passed since she started jogging and it felt like that was forever ago.

“Stupid bitches, why did it have to be jogging? If it were a typing dare, I’d have won that.” Wheezing with each breath and feeling like a greasy pig from all the sweat, Tanya spotted a cut tree stump near the edge of the gravel trail and decided it was time for a break.

The moment she was able to sit, she felt like her whole body had shut down and collapsed along with her. It also didn’t help that she wasn’t really dressed for the occasion. While the others wore spandex and polyester, Tanya had gone with denim shorts and a light sweater, which didn’t help one bit. Looking over to the satchel she brought with her, she found the bottle of water and ham sandwich she packed away just in case. Opening the plastic zip-lock back to take a bite, the woman sighed and leaned her head back to close her eyes.

“Sigh… How can this get any worse?”

A screech by some nearby creature made the hefty woman open her eyes and snap her attention to the source with apprehension, looking around frantically for the source when she heard it again, closer this time. Getting up from the tree stump and clutching her sandwich like it was a shield, Tanya looked around, a cold chill running down her back that made her legs feel cold and numb. “Oh, please be just a noisy bird.”

A screech behind her made Tanya spin around in fright to see what it was, only to find nothing in front of her. Seeing nothing but more trees and bushes all around her, Tanya closed her eyes and sighed with relief, only to open them wide when she heard the screech again, only now it was at her feet. Looking down at her feet the best she could over her chest and the slope of her stomach, she was pleasantly surprised to find a small lizard the size of a pigeon looking up at her with the same enthusiasm as a tiny dog waging its tail.

“Well, hello little guy… Are you someone’s pet?” She asked, bending at the waist to look at the small lizard more closely. It was a bright glossy red, with bright green eyes and a little smirk she that was cute on the reptile as it tilted its head and stood up on its haunches to wave its paws up like a cat. Looking over to her hand where she found its attention was on, she realised it wanted a piece of her sandwich. “You wanna piece?”

Breaking off a piece of her sandwich, she lowered the piece of bread and ham in front of the small lizard who eyed it hungrily as she wiggled it back and forth to offer. “Here you go, go ahead and … OUCH!” Snapping her fingers back and bringing them to her lip, she watched the small creature eat what it had bitten out of her finger, scratching them with its teeth in the process. Looking down at her two fingers, the bite marks were deep enough that they drew blood!

“Why you little monster, when I get my hands on…”

Looking back down at the little bugger that bit her, she found the little creature had already scurried off and disappeared back into the bushes. “Yeah… Yeah, you BETTER run!” She threatened, shaking her fist in the air, and sulking back down in deflated exhaustion. Bringing her finger back to her mouth to suck on the minor injury. Feeling she had stayed still long enough and not wanting to be found out by anything else that bites, Tanya gathered her things and went back onto the gravel trail.

*

30 minutes later…

“Sigh… What is taking her so damn long?" scoffed Lisa, "We’ve been waiting FOREVER!”

The trio of women were standing and stretching while they waited at the end of the trail. She, Tabitha and Cathy were not known for being amicable to anyone at the office, but if they had anything going for them it was their looks and being two-faced enough at the front desk to lure in new clients to the firm.

Lisa had her long black hair held in a ponytail as she shifted and bent at the waist to bring her hands to her feet, the woman scoffed and harrumphed at standing too long as she stood back up to her full height and traced a finger over the mocha dark skin of her cheek to wipe some sweat. “Knew we should have just gone with the typing challenge.”

“Oh please, and miss THIS?” Chuckled Tabitha, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder and grinning as she kept her eye on the trail they came from. “I just wish I brought a camera when we see miss piggy waddle her way here to cross the finish line.”

“Shame, would have loved to stick that on my cubicle for a cheap laugh.” Smiled the Asian beauty standing next to Tabitha, Cathy stretched her arms over her head and smirked when she heard a jogger stumble at the sight of her showing off her lithe figure. Indeed, all three of them were stunningly beautiful, and they knew it. They flaunted it, every chance they could get both on and off the clock. Every day they came to work in expensive business suits and highlighted with stunning jewelry and make up that only accentuated their beauty.

One intern prior to being fired for spreading the nickname around the work floor called them the Power Puff Bitches. It was a good short laugh before they got him fired for a ‘sexual harassment’. Taking a sip from her water, Tabitha’s smile grew as she finally spotted their opponent in the distance slowly making her way to them.

“Oh! THERE she is, ha ha… Damn. What a sorry sight!”

Practically dragging her feet and completely slick with sweat that it stained her clothes, Tanya finally made it to the end of the jogging trail and fell to her knees grabbing the gravel at her hands to keep her balance.

“I… I… ‘Cough, cough’… I made it.”

The sound of slow mocking applause rung up over her head as she looked up with her blurry eyes to Tabitha smirking down at her, flanked by both Cathy and Lisa as they blotted out the sun behind them.

“Well, congratulations little Miss Piggy, you made it to the half point.”

Sitting up and wiping sweat from her forehead, Tanya barely registered the statement as she felt sick to her stomach. “Half… Way?”

“Oh yeah.” Giggled Lisa, covering her smile with the back of her hand as she traded looks with the others. “You only ran, or should I say shambled 5 kilometers, the OTHER 5 is the jog back.”

“WHAT?!”

“Honestly, did you think the run ended here? We didn’t even PARK at this side of the trail.”

Starting to jog on the spot, the trio laughed out loud as they made their way back the way they came after Tanya collapsed on her back, exhausted, and defeated.

“See you back at work Miss Piggy.”

For a long time, Tanya just laid there, staring up at the sky while other joggers and dog walkers passed her by, staring down at the overweight woman too tired to move let alone get up. But, much to her chagrin, she had to get up, otherwise people would think she was having a heart attack. After a long 15 minutes, Tanya finally got her feet back under her, and began to make her way back, the trio of co-workers already long out of sight.

*

“I swear if I have to take another step my legs are going to fall off my ass…”

3 hours, that’s how long it took for Tanya to regain her strength and pick herself up to hobble her way back down the other way of the jogging trail and get back to her car in the parking lot. 3 hours of walking until she finally slumped into her driver’s seat and practically passed out on top of the steering wheel. Looking down at her hand, the bite mark was still there from the little bugger that bit her, it even looked red and enflamed, but at least it was healing. Woozy and lightheaded, Tanya sat there in her car, using her steering wheel as a pillow to rest and regain her strength. She’d likely had stayed there all day if she hadn’t woken herself up with her car horn when she turned her head.

Snapping up alert and looking around, the woman shook her head in disbelief and checked what time it was when she turned the ignition and found it was only 30 minutes. She felt better, but not much more so. If anything, nearly passing out from exhaustion in her car made her stomach growl. On the drive back home, her stomach continued to growl, angrily too. Like she hadn’t eaten in days.

“Guess walking all day builds up an appetite…”

Heading to the nearest drive through when she found an opening in traffic, even she was surprised when she found herself ordering enough for three people at the burrito hut. Finding a nearby parking spot after paying for her packaged meal, Tanya turned off the ignition and started tearing through waxed paper to get the first triple bean, ground beef burrito with all the fixings. The moment she took the first bite, her eyes flickered with renewed life.

“Holy Tap-Dancing Crow! Where have you BEEN all my life?!”

Biting into her meal with more enthusiasm, Tanya found every flavour sharper, more pronounced with every mouthful. In almost no time at all she had finished off her first burrito and was rummaging to open the next, cramming fries into her mouth between bites and fluttering her eyes at the salty sticks of deep-fried potato.

“Ghaaagh… What do they PUT in these fries?! God I could live off these… Gasp, they added ketchup packets!”

Taking a long swig of her soft drink with one hand and lathering ketchup on her side dish with the other, she went right back to her meal, going over her second burrito with hungry abandon. Had she been paying attention she would have realised she was making quite the scene as passer’s by watched the overweight woman stuff herself like a prized farm animal. So much so a child holding onto the hand of his mother paused and pointed back at her.

“Mom, why is she eating so much in her car? And why is she so big?”

“Oh honey, that woman has a disease, probably brought on by insecurities and a child-hood trauma, now come along so we can get home sweetheart, I’m making mushroom soup. It’s GOOD for you.”

“Ewww…. Do I have to? Can’t we have burgers?”

“Do you want to end up like her sweety?” Hearing Tanya belch like a foghorn in the comfort of her own car, the boy shivered in fear and clung to his mother as they made their way home.

Still eating her meal, Tanya found the passage of time blur by until she reached for more of her meal and found nothing but empty wrappers. Looking around and finding the sun was already beginning to dusk, Tanya frowned but realised the day had caught up to her and she was more tired than she thought she was when she yawned into her hand. Restarting the ignition, Tanya pulled out of the parking spot and made her way back home to her apartment.

The trip there only took a few minutes but by the time she made it to the apartment complex’s parking lot and got out of her car, she acted like she barely had the strength to stand. The quick relief in walking came when she stepped into the elevator and stood leaning against the wall as she made her way to the 30th floor and shambled her way out when the chime dinged, and the polished metal doors opened. Getting to her apartment and closing the door behind her, Tanya fumbled her way down the hall to her bedroom, slipping her shoes off with her feet and stomping her way to the bed in front of her. A long day, hot weather, over exhaustion and overeating finally caught up with her and she fell face first into the mattress and fell fast asleep.

“Shoopid biches… Makin me run like dat…” She grumbled first down over her own pillow. “Love to see dem runnin from ME for once…”

*

The wagon teetered as it made its way up the steep hill to the mountainside overlooking the village down below. The two guards led their drawn horses that pulled said cart up, wearily looking up at the cloudy sky as if expecting something high above. This had been the routine for years now. The summer solstice was upon them, and sacrifices were needed to appease that which should not be spoken of out loud.

“Release us!”

“PLEASE! Let us go, we won’t tell anyone.”

“You DARE do this to us?! Do you not know who my father is?”

Three women were tied at the back of the wagon, each of the opulently overdressed as they struggled impotently against their bindings.

“Silence! We know who your father is, who do you think ORDERED us to send you here?” Hissed the one guard silently, still eyeing the sky for danger as they made their way up the thin trail to the top of the mountain. “She hungers, but she was not pleased with the last sacrifice, no, she demands quality.”

Turning to look the three women in the eye, the other guard answered solemnly. “She has demanded princesses.”

Finally reaching the mountain’s peak, the wagon stopped at the entrance of a cave, its edges and surface pocked with scars by something large enough to carve stone like one would cut bread with a knife. The entire mountain side was barren and lifeless, as if even moss was too scared to grow here.

“Please! We can pay you a ransom’s treasure to let us escape right now.”

“Release us AT ONCE! I will not tolerate being ignored. So help me I WILLL have you executed for this.”

Opening the back of the wagon and treading lightly, the one guard made to pull the tied-up princesses out so they could be bound to the three stakes they brought to keep them in place. Before he dragged the first post out, the second guard stopped him by shaking his head.

Leave them, the wagon’s enough, just help me untie the horses, we need THOSE to get back.”

Nodding, he left the back of the wagon to help untie the horses and guided them back around to head back down the trail.

“Believe me your ‘highness’, I fear what sleeps in that cave far more than I fear you… And so will you.”

With a ‘yip’ that startled the horses, the pair of guards fled the clearing in front of the cave and disappeared with a nicker of their steeds, leaving the three princesses to sit and cry out for them to come back. Crying, screaming, protesting, and struggling, the trio went silent when they heard a low growl like the hiss of some giant crocodile come from the darkness of the cave. Too scared to move or speak, the three princesses looked back at the cave and thought they heard stirring within. Then they heard it, like the heavy roll of thunder echoing out with each footstep as the creature made its way out into the open and hissed out an intake of air.

“WELL, WELL, WELL… THEY FINALLY DELIVERED…” Purred a deep feminine voice, along with the flick of a forked tongue that inhaled the scents in the air as a purr of laughter rolled off the creature throat now coming out into the dusking light. “AND HERE I THOUGHT THEIR MAJESTIES WOULD NOT SACRIFICE THEIR FIRST-BORN DAUGHTERS TO APPEASE ME, HMM, REALLY SHOWS WHO THEY SEE AS THE RIGHTFUL RULER DOESN’T IT?”

Shaking in their bindings, the three princesses looked up at the creature circling the wagon they sat in, like a cat circling some mice in a cage. And in comparison to the princesses, the creature was just as large to them, leaving clawed footprints in the soft earth and a slithering trail of her tail. Hot breath blew over the three women’s hair, making them whimper and look away in fear.

“Do you know WHO we are? You cannot do this to…”

The roar sent the protesting blonde woman back on her rear in the wagon, blown down by a hurricane of hot air that stank of a furnace heat and made the wood of the wagon creak and groan. Their skin tanned almost instantly with their eyes going pink as if squinting and weeping through hot smoke.

“I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, THREE LITTLE PIGGIES OFFERED UP TO THE BIG BAD WOLF OR THEIR BIG BRICK HOUSE WILL GET BLOWN OVER.” Growled the creature, sizing up the three princesses up and reaching out with a scaly claw big enough to wrap around all three of them if it so chose to. Instead, the claw merely extended a barbed finger to raise the chin of the dark-haired princess so she could look at her pretty face. “AT FIRST, I WAS CONTENT WITH THE OCCASIONAL VILLAGE BOY THEY OFFERED ME EVERY SOLSTICE, THE NEAR-DO-WELL WHO CAUGHT THEIR IRE, EVEN THE ODD STRANGER THEY PULLED OFF THE ROAD TO APPEASE MY TEMPER AND… APPETITES.”

Seeing the woman sob made the towering creature smile even more. Rearing up to sit as she towered over them all, the wagon nothing more than a basket compared to her grand size as she took up the entire clearing.

“BUT AT SOME POINT, YOU HAVE TO WONDER IF YOUR SUBJECTS ARE HOLDING OUT ON YOU. YOU HAVE TO WONDER IF YOUR SUBJECTS ARE HONOURING YOUR WISHES OR JUST TOSSING YOU SCRAPS. DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF QUEEN THAT LIKES BEING FED SOME MALNOURISHED DRUNK THEY FOUND STAGGERING IN THE DITCH SOMEWHERE?”

Not getting an answer, the towering creature raised her head and inhaled deeply, spreading her wings so wide they blotted out the setting sun, leaving the clearing in total darkness. Then a burst of fiery light engulphed the clearing, creating a ring of flames that surrounded the wagon and illuminate the entire area. All three princesses cried out in terror as the entire area became a fiery hellscape, revealing the beast in all her glory to them now that the darkness had been peeled away.

“DO I LOOK LIKE THE TYPE OF QUEEN THAT IS PLEASED WITH SCRAPS?!”

“NO!” Cried out the blonde, the trio sobbing as the beast finally landed back on all fours and flapped her wings to blow out the flames of her fiery breath, leaving the cave entrance barren again save for the singed rock still glowing red from the heat and smoking earth. Rearing up and bringing a claw to her chest, the monster continued to circle her prize. Now coiling her massive tail around them like a serpent would with its prey.

“OF COURSE NOT! I RULE THESE LANDS, NOT THEM. EVERYWHERE MY EYE GAZE PEERS OVER IS MINE AND MINE ALONE. SO, WHEN I ASK FOR QUALITY INSTEAD OF QUANTITY, ITS ONLY BECAUSE I AM DESERVING OF THE BEST MY KINGDOM HAS TO OFFER ME.” Narrowing her reptilian eyes, her smile never left her chops as a low purr escaped her fanged lips. “AND SUCH WONDERFUL QUALITY YOU SO HAPPEN TO BE. I BET YOU THREE HAVE LIVED SUCH RICH AND LUXURIOUS LIVES HAVEN’T YOU? HIGH SOCIETY CUISINE, FINE WINE, SUCCULENT SWEETS?”

“Y-yes?” Shivered the one princess, looking up at the terrible beast looming over her and the others.

Clasping her claws together and fluttering her reptilian eyes, the beast’s smile only grew to the point that it looked like some hideous bear trap to the three women scared out of their wits. All they wanted to do was blot out this entire experience from their memory until they felt the wagon being lifted off the ground by the monster’s claws. Hoisted off the ground high and higher, the leviathan stood to her full height with the wagon teetering over her head. Looking down, the creature opened her jaws wide, and tilted the wagon over.

“THEN LET’S HAVE A TASTE!”

*

Waking up with a start and slumping back down into bed when she checked the clock at her side table read 5 AM, Tanya groaned into her pillow in disappointment.

“Wow… What a fucked-up dream…”

Rolling onto her back and staring up at the slow turn of the ceiling fan overhead, Tanya moaned as she mulled over whether to try and go back to sleep or simply get up and wait the next few hours before heading to work. After a few minutes laying wide awake on top of the sheets of her bed, Tanya’s eyes narrowed and she huffed, getting up out of bed and planting her feet firmly on the floor. Standing up and scratching at an itch at her right thigh, she nearly lost her footing when she got up to quickly and had to steady herself to keep her balance.

Once she was sure she was on sure feet, Tanya Embers marched her way to the bathroom. Groaning and moving sluggishly like a zombie, the woman passed the threshold of the bathroom door and flicked the light switch to turn the lights on.

Groggy and slowly blinking her eyes open to look back at her reflection, the woman suddenly sobered up to the sight of her reflection… And gasped!