Necromancer Vale

I awoke this morning like any other. With the slow and unsteady manner not uncommon to zombies of popular fiction. I didn't even notice her as I shuffled into the hallway bathroom. I flicked the light on and paused as my brain worked to decide if I could hit the toilet or not and if I needed to shit. She brushed past me standing before the sink just as I settled upon sitting just in case. I muttered something akin to "Excuse me." as I pushed past and sat on my throne. I'm not sure when I actually noticed her, or if she spoke up first, or what. I do remember staring her in the face utterly baffled as to who she was and why she was watching me.

See, the thing is I live alone in a tiny two room apartment and hadn't actually ever done the whole gigolo, playboy, pickup artist, one night stand thing. So when a woman I had never seen before was slowly inching closer watching me shit that early in the morning it took some time to place her.
One step closer. I was certain she was there a moment ago because I pushed past her and apologized out of habit.
Two steps closer. She had a hand on my shoulder and nudged me out of the way to get to the sink. Some people do the teeth, face, hair thing first. Me I'm more of a can, shower, dress guy.
Okay, three steps closer this is getting uncomfortable. She had practically been on top of me and followed me out of my bedroom. A red flag was thrown across the barren landscape of my rapidly awakening mind. There is simply no excuse for a woman to be willingly clinging to me in my bedroom. Something was very wrong here.

Buying time I piped up. "Uh gunna be a minute. Could you wait in the other room?" Genius, pure morning genius. Though she did storm out slamming the door which was half the point. Of course, now I had an angry woman in my apartment rather than a slightly creepy woman with boundary issues. I still had no idea where she came from though. I came home. Shut and locked the door. Kicked off my shoes. Tossed my jacket on the chair, my shirt on the floor by the fridge, pants at the foot of the bed. Then I lifted the bottom of the sheets up and crawled up the bed to pass out.

That settled it. She was obviously a stalker. It was a little exciting and flattering. I mean there was a moderately attractive chick who broke in just to watch me sleep. Actually that does sound bad but you get the point right? It's that wow someone cares about me, I'm attractive, bolstering feeling.

Finishing the royal business with a flush I strode out into my apartment. Now fully awake I was able to get a good look at her. She had long brown hair. At least shoulder length but hard to tell how long exactly as it was matted in places with some sticks tangled in it. Which is probably what caught my attention. Poor thing was probably camping out in the nearby wooded lot waiting for her chance to break in and confess her love. Other than the long hair she had brown eyes and was wearing a pair of jeans and a white spaghetti strap top. A real plain Jane. No huge tits or ass, but not built like a board by any means. I guess you'd say she had the air of a TV extra, an unremarkable face and body, a barely present presence, and was just sort of there. Things were getting awkward again as I kept looking her up and down while she just stood there. So once more I broke the tension by asking why she was here and what she wanted.

Without hesitation she began. "You have inherited Shady Valley cemetery and with it the title of Head Necromancer of the Mortal Vale. The Mortal Vale being a group of powerful necromancers who focused less on the whole zombie apocalypse, world domination, immortality, TV psychic reuniting people with loved ones type of stuff and more on why they could make a spirit rise from it's grave and come cross country just to say hello but couldn't get the waiter to do their job and refill the damn breadsticks. They eventually got past the barrier of having spirits possess people and then commanding the spirits to do their bidding and developed the ability to directly control anything with a soul. Then they did the typical dark pact seal this forbidden power within our blood schtick. You just happen to be the last member of their bloodline and as such are the sole beneficiary of all their forbidden mystic powers. Which is the largest part of why I'm here. Shortly before his **** your father asked me to keep an eye on you. Shortly after you inherited your power last night you muttered about how you wanted a 'chick' to spend the night with you right up till you fed her some 'breakfast sausage' and I was the only 'chick' in earshot. Which is both the most minor reason I'm here and what I want. I would love some actual breakfast sausage. You'd need to get me a body and buy some sausage but I'd be so grateful I'd tell you where Shady Valley cemetery was and the secret trick to get in." She smiles and rocks about expectantly.

I grimace while scratching the back of my head. "Whoa, that's a bit much to take in. I was sorta ready for stalker crazy and that was just. Wow. So long story short my dad is dead and that means you have to suck me off?"

"No. Your dad is fine. The guy who knocked up your mom is dead. And I don't have to suck you off you have to facefuck me or feed me breakfast. Aaaand I'd really rather have a yummy hot greasy treat than a sore throat. So, let's quit it with the questions and go bodyjack me some tastebuds."