Mind Control Remote

You are sitting on your couch in your apartment when your female roommate Stacey comes in. Despite being male, you quite honestly liked having a female roommate. What you didn't like, however, was how Stacey constantly teased you with her tight shirts that showed her ample cleavage, and tighter shorts that hugged her ass.

"Package for you."she said, setting the box down. There was a note on top of it. "Who is it from?"you ask her. She turns back and shrugs. Curious, you open the note and read it.

Nephew,

I know I missed your birthday, so consider this a belated birthday gift. It is very special.

-Uncle Norman

Your uncle Norman was someone you barely knew. He never showed up at family gatherings, and he only came to one birthday. However, your mother had always called him...eccentric. She always told you to stay away from him, so you listened to her. You open the box and inside was a...remote?

What is this? you wonder. You see an instruction manual in the box as well.

Woman Remote Button Functions:

Power - This will cause the woman to fall asleep, essentially "turning her off" and make her unable to be awoken unless powered up again

Rewind - This will make the woman speak and move in reverse

Fast forward - This causes the woman to move and speak more quickly

Pause - This freezes the woman in place

Loop - Makes the woman repeat the last action or phrase over and over

Play - Removes Rewind, Fast Forward, Pause, and Loop

Volume Up/Down - Changes how loudly or quietly the woman speaks

Channel Up/Down - Alters the woman's personality based on what "channel" she is currently tuned into.

Programming Mode- Puts the woman into 'programming mode' allowing you to input commands or triggers. Programming Mode lasts for approximately ten seconds if no commands are input.

You are highly curious. This couldn't be real. You did see a movie like this once, but that was a movie. And a crappy sci-fi one at that. But you at least wanted to at least see if this does really work, so you call in Stacey.

"Yeah, what?"she asked. You decide to test out your new toy.