Meeting Mrs. Claus

So Christmas is around the corner, and you don’t have much planned. Your mom and sisters are all off to a big Christmas Party at your Aunt’s while your Dad’s off to get wasted with some coworkers at a strip joint. You’ve made it no secret that you’re not as big on Christmas as everyone else, and have blown off many invitations from friends and family alike just to wallow at home and masturbate to whatever porn you can find stashed in your favorites.

It wasn’t always like this though. When you were young, Christmas held all kinds of wonder, and you were practically the perfect model for Santa’s nice list, but the older you got, the worst your Christmas experiences became. The earliest instance was after your youngest sisters’s 5th birthday. By then, she became the family favorite, and even though that Christmas saw everyone take a cut in value, yours was cut the worst: a single stick of gum. To a kid of 6 years old, yes, this was a pretty big disappointment, but next year promised to be much better, what with your old man getting a better job. And while the next Christmas was arguably the best one yet for everyone else, you ended up spending it with your grandfolks, who thought “whipping you into shape” was the best Christmas present, not to mention the only one you needed. Being the only other male in the family other than Dad, your grandparents made no secret that they enjoyed spoiling their granddaughters.

Not the most tragic Christmas stories, you know, but the year after that, things seemed to get better, but got progressively worst. You had gotten a very expensive toy, one that was quickly sold out during the holidays. And just when your faith in the holiday seemed to get restored, several other kids from school who frequently bullied you took it upon themselves to “relieve” you of it, with a couple of punches to the head and stomach.

When you grew old enough to appreciate parties, you attended a Christmas themed school dance. At this point, you were also able to appreciate the girls in your school a lot more, and somehow you ended up with the most popular girl in the school at the time.

What you didn’t realize at the time though, was that you were going to be the butt of a very longstanding Christmas Dance “tradition” that involved you being tied naked to the underside of arguable the worst plastic reindeer ever manufactured. Until you changed schools, you never got a moments peace before someone at school brought up your nickname as “Rudolph’s Bitch”.

And this was all when you were just 14.

The last 8 years have somehow managed to get worse and worse. Last year, you almost caught hypothermia when your family left the house, thinking you had decided to spend the holidays with your then-girlfriend of 5 years. What made this particularly bad was that your girlfriend dumped you, via fucking the Mall Santa, Barnaby Willows, a 30 something year old slob. Apparently, your girlfriend and Barnaby have been “seeing each other” since she hit puberty. At that point, you thought the worst would be over, but then your car dies 5 miles away from your house in the middle of a blizzard with no transportation. You had to walk hours in below freezing temperature, during which you didn’t have your jacket, leaving it behind during the shock of seeing your ex drool incoherently while her eyes rolled in the back of her head as Barnaby was slamming her from behind in the ass. The implications of this were worse than you expected when she told you firsthand how bad a lover you were in bed.

So after walking back to the house and finding it locked, you scrambled for your cell, which it seems you either left back in the car, or dropped it along the way. The result was that you were to break into your own home by throwing a brick through one of the windows. The bad news was your house had a security alarm, and so the cops came by finding you. With your wallet in the jacket you left behind, the police couldn’t ID you as a resident of your own house, and locked you up for the night. They would have called your parents, but the power blacked out and any chances of getting a signal went out with it.

The next morning, your parents had to pick you up and fix the damage you had done to the window. You would have paid for the damage, but when you left your jacket behind with Barnaby and your ex, they decided to help themselves to your account and drained you of every last cent. They were nice enough to send you back your coat and wallet, along with an elicit photo of them fucking back at her place along with a note in her handwriting saying how she was taking what you “owed her” for 5 years of lousy sex.

Your parents seemed blissfully ignorant of just how miserable the holidays have been for you since you were 6. One of your oldest sisters, Betty, especially made it a point to add as much salt to your wounds every Christmas. After you got home last year, she waited for you outside your bedroom door with a smirk, before asking how Barnaby’s cock matched up to yours, and if you got to hear how loud your ex got when she got fucked by a real man, then made it a point to tell you all kinds of stories about the things your ex did with Barnaby, one of the worst being how she spent an entire day milking him for sperm with her mouth, just to drink it the next day periodically. You remember because she had a flask that day and insisted on making out with you fairly often that day after taking a large chug from her flash. She didn’t get drunk, so you assumed it was a health thing she was getting into. Needless to say, you spent a good amount of time after that throwing up and cleaning out the insides of your mouth, from brushing to mouthwash, and even gargling handsoap.

This year, you hoped to avoid any major mishaps by simply staying home and not tempting whatever cruel joke awaited you this year.

It shouldn’t come as any surprise that you weren’t considered a particularly well-behaved kid around this time of year. It was pretty well known that December’s saw you acting out viciously at just about anyone or anything. This year alone, you caused thousands of dollars in property damage and put a number of people in the hospital after some pretty vicious fights.

Tomorrow would be Christmas, and the only joy you had this year was that you were home alone, and weren’t expecting anyone anytime soon. If things kept going smoothly, you’d have enough porn to get you through the day and the next.