Hot Sausage, Big Tips

The service industry is ingenious at extracting maximum surplus out of its independent contractors. Every college girl and boy is hustling and grinding, and sex work is oldest grind there is.

Suckr is a new app that’s like Uber for blowjobs. It helps young women share their unused mouths with gentlemen in need of oral relief. From bachelor parties to legal lunches, a Suckr girl is always in demand for a big tip. Any other requests are between the Suckr girl and her clients, and not the responsibility of the innovative startup.

Meatcuter is a new app that’s like Doordash for dick. It helps young men share their big dongs with ladies in need of a special pick me up. A dick sucking competition is a hen do classic, and there’s no better mood booster for a working girl than cum straight from the source.

While the independent contractors are not legally employees and therefore not entitled to any benefits, their health and safety are the top priority for Suckr and Meatcuter. In case a service call extends past 24 hours, the startups will dispatch an elite team of mall cops to aid and assist.