Harry Potter and the Essence of Eros

Harry flicked through his charms textbook, took a sip of his pumpkin juice, and sighed. The Great Hall was practically empty, this late at night, and the ceiling glittered with enchanted constellations. Returning to Hogwarts for his seventh year left him with mixed emotions; it was jarring to return to such normality, after such an eventful year away. He had thought defeating Voldermort would have been enough to give him a free pass on his NEWTs, but as it turned out Professor Flitwick’s assignments could still leave him rather stumped.

“Harry?”

He looked up with surprise. Before him stood Lavender Brown, clutching a small vial filled with maroon liquid, breathless with excitement.

“Could I ask a small favour from you?”

“Sure,” said Harry reluctantly.

“Give this to my Won-Won? …Please?”

“Lavender, I don’t think…”

“Harry, this took years to get right,” the brunette insisted, pressing the vial into his hands along with a note. “Please, just give it to him – I know he’ll make the right decision.”

The boy with the lightning scar looked at her shrewdly. “I didn’t know you were still interested in him.”

Lavender laughed, a manic edge to her voice. “I haven’t been able to get him out of my head for the past three years. When he left me for your friend Granger, I…” she took a shuddering breath. “It’s not important. All I’m asking is you give him this potion, and make sure he reads the note. If he chooses to ignore it, I’ll never bother him again. I promise.”

She gazed at him with pleading doe eyes, and Harry couldn’t find it in himself to deny her one last hopeless gesture.

“Fine,” he murmured. Lavender squealed, instantly pulling him into a crushing hug. Eventually she released him, tears of jubilation running down her cheeks.

“Thank you, Harry. Thank you!”

With that, she ran away, out of the huge doors of the Great Hall, still sobbing happily.

Harry watched her go, sympathetic to her hopeless cause. It’s probably time for me to leave anyway, he decided. He tucked Lavender’s vial and note into a pocket, popped his textbook into one of Hermione’s magically enlarged pouches, and scooped up his pumpkin juice, still sipping it as he left for the common room.

As he climbed the staircase to the fourth floor, evading the vanishing step entirely on instinct, he pondered what to do about the potion. It was almost certainly some kind of love potion, and he was sure Ron would be better off not knowing Lavender was still mad for him. Some dark part of his mind imagined dosing Ron’s drink with it, breaking up his two best friends. Hermione would look for comfort, just as she had when they were alone in the tent, and maybe their relationship would finally grow beyond ‘like a sister to me’. Harry quickly banished the thought from his mind. Sure, he had a crush on ‘Mione in third year, but that was long ago, and she had clearly been uninterested in him. Since then he had grown up, and grown out of foolish fantasies. Thoughts like that one had no place in his mind.

Suddenly Harry felt his goblet being lifted from his hand. He looked up to see a familiar cackling ghost floating out of reach, his juice in hand.

“Peeves!” shouted Harry furiously. “Accio pumpkin juice!”

The goblet shot through the air, and Harry caught it with a seeker’s precision, not spilling a drop. Harry muttered curses on the poltergeist under his breath, taking a good swig of his drink.

“Are you sure you don’t want your little bottle too?” teased a mischievous voice, and Harry turned with a start, to see Peeves gleefully dangling a familiar glass vial over his head.

“Accio vial,” growled Harry, snatching the potion out of the air. “I’m warning you Peeves, I defeated the most powerful dark wizard of all time. Don’t think I won’t take you down a few pegs!”

The poltergeist only giggled deliriously, singing “Harry Potter pooped his pants! Harry Snotter’s got no chance!” as he drifted through the nearest wall.

Harry sighed, downing the rest of his pumpkin juice, as he tucked the vial into his pocket.

He only made it a few more steps, however, before his stomach began to churn and his head began to swim.

“Peeves, what did you –” he interrupted his own sentence as a horrible thought crossed his mind. Frantically, he dug Lavender’s potion out of his pocket, and held it up to the light. It was half-empty. The world fell away from him as he realised he might be about to fall hopelessly in love with Lavender Brown. He wanted to vomit.

As his mouth dried up, then abruptly began to taste of strawberries, one thought emerged in his mind. I’ve got to get to Hermione.