Happy Birthday to Me!

Junior year of college was absolutely kicking my ass, and classes were taking up way too much of my time for me to really enjoy myself like I wanted. I left my Friday afternoon class with my group of close friends, as usual. It was the day before my birthday, so I was looking forward to a weekend of celebrating. I figured I’d go back to my apartment with my roommates to play video games, but my friend Emily Jones asked, “What are your plans tonight? What’s everyone doing for dinner?”

We all just shrugged: there hadn’t been anything planned. I said, "I'll probably save my energy for my birthday tomorrow, so a chill night might not be bad." One of our friends said, “Lame. Do you guys want to go grab an early dinner now and then figure out what we do for the night?" We all agreed and headed towards the dining hall. We each got food and then just hung out and decompressed after a rough week. As usual, conversation was devolving into a raunchy topic of discussion. One of our friends had done a report for his Modern Media Studies class on the popularity of OnlyFans, and had found some interesting information. We were giving him a really hard time for his "research" and how much he had no doubt enjoyed exploring the website and what it had to offer. He was in the middle of telling us about his paper.

"It's wild. Most of OnlyFans is obviously sex and naked people, but there's a lot of people just chatting, or trying to be wholesome. The fastest growing category is JOI, though." One of our friends didn't know what that was, and he explained, "It stands for jerk-off-instructions. Someone just talks to you and gets you to play with yourself. It's super popular in porn and OnlyFans is picking up the pace, too, no pun intended."

Emily said, "There's so much fucking money to be made there. I don't think I'd dare show my face, but it's tempting."

Our friend continued, "Well that's just it. There's so much anonymity, and I don't think people who hide their faces or bodies are at that much of a disadvantage. However, women are at a huge advantage: they make up the vast majority of the revenue. Honestly, you'd clean up on OF just by doing JOI."

Another friend asked, "Is it really that popular? Do any of you guys listen to JOI?"

Most of us said that we did, but I added, "I listen to it, but I don't always like it. The woman's voice is too big a factor, and sometimes it just sounds so fake and stupid. I find I spent longer looking for a good JOI than actually listening to it." I had never explored OnlyFans: there was to much easily-accessible, free sexual content out there that it seemed silly to pay for anything. Plus, my imagination was very skilled at inventing fantasies and scenarios for me without any help.

Emily laughed and put on a deep, sultry voice. "So, you like when they talk like this?" Then she changed it and made her voice really perky. "Or do you prefer this?" I didn't admit that I much preferred the perky voice, which was closer to Emily's natural speech pattern.

The friend who had written the paper on OnlyFans responded, "That's exactly the point. See how different those two sounded? Those voices might be erotic to some people, or grating to others, and that's why such a variety of channels succeeds. I'm amazed at how many different popular content creators there are." Our conversation moved on to another topic as some folks got up to go get more food.

As we finished up dinner, my roommate asked what everyone wanted to do that night. As usual, we were split 50/50: some of us wanted to go home and chill all night and some wanted to go out and party like lunatics. My choice really depended on the week and, although a night in seemed fine, it was my birthday weekend...