Fart Bitch in Equestria

It all started when you were a filly. That fateful day when one of your classmates jammed you under his butt and blessed your nostrils with the rectal trumpet that would seal your destiny.

That day you got your cutie mark, a bright red whoopee cushion. As a young foal you’d dreamed that your special talent might have been something exciting, but No. as it turned it out it was just sniffing farts.

Somewhere down the line someone oh so affectionately called you “Fart Bitch”, and it just stuck. At this point you can’t even remember what your real name used to be, and frankly it doesn't matter anymore.

So, "Fart Bitch" you came to be. Soon even the teacher was using that name to refer to you, because, well, no other name would suit you quite so perfectly.

Your parents were concerned at first. They took you to every expert on the matter, even managed to obtain a private meeting with Princess Celestia. It was no use, though. You were stuck with that flatulent cutie mark and your undying need to inhale gas. It wasn't necessarily that you liked it, more that you had to do it.

If you weren’t stealing whiffs of your classmate’s backwind you were trapping yourself under the covers and clopping to your own. Eventually it was too much for your parents to bear. They tossed you out onto the streets, and could you really blame them?

Your first order of business was skipping town. There was nothing there for you but ridicule and a whole heap of farts to keep your nostrils busy. Perhaps in the next town the ponies would see you for who you really were! Or... the next town over. Or the one after that...

Pretty soon lush grassland became desert. You were so far from home that you couldn't find your way back even if you wanted to.

That’s where you met Cherry Jubilee. After all, a cutie mark is a cutie mark and a talent is a talent. And Cherry knew just how to market yours. Just so happened she was looking for an excuse to skip town herself, and that excuse ended up being you.

What surprised you was just how popular your services were. Your gas-huffing talents were always in high demand, whether it be a group of rowdy stallions after a night of heavy drinking, all trying to see who could knock you down first, or a high-ranking celebrity who didn’t dare let their foul secrets slip in the public eye.

By now your nose has buffeted more poots than you’ve let out yourself. Every manner of vile aroma has tarnished your senses, but it never gets easier. Just when you think you’re settling into the role you’ll get that one client who manages to absolutely rock your world with how bad their stink is.

Cherry Jubilee’s gig is simple. She’s a pimp of sorts, though she rejects that title. Along with a handful of other dedicated sex slaves and vagabonds she travels from town to town, renting you out to the highest bidder. Sometimes you’ll be in their service for a weekend, sometimes an entire month. Sometimes on the trip between stops Cherry will even use you herself. Who wouldn't when you're so good at it?

This new town is Ponyville, if you remember rightly. On first glance it’s as inconsequential as any other Cherry has whored you out in. Rustic. Homely. But it’s not like the location matters all that much when you’ll be spending your time here buried beneath a gassy tush.

Cherry sets up her stand in the middle of town, with you stood alongside her other servants.

Ponies soon start to flock. Surprise surprise, your duties are just as desired here as everywhere else. Whoop de fuckin' do.

“Now, this funky little filly is one of my most popular employees. Her talent is wholly unique, and she’s a real pro at it! Fart Bitch here, as the name suggests, is a fart-sniffer!”

A few gasps sound from the audience. Mostly though it's intrigued murmurings.

“That’s right, fillies and gentlecolts! These industrious little nostrils of hers will vacuum up any odor! Sample any stench! Never again will you have to worry about offending your dinner guests or gassing up your home, Fart Bitch will take care of your every windy emission, no matter how big or small!”

The onlookers seem to be impressed.

“Eat as many beans as you want without fear! Or just want a cuddly little pony to snuggle up to and Dutch oven to the moon and back? Fart Bitch is your mare!”

At least you've gotten over the stage fright. It's hard not to when you're in this line of work.

The audience, which has now amassed to an ocean of ponies, all jockey to bid. Cherry Jubilee tries to keep things in order, taking one bid at a time.

The price goes up and up. First it's five bits, then it's fifteen. The raised hooves begin to drop off at the hundred bit mark. You watch with gritted teeth and a nervous sweat as the bidders are whittled down to just two, then one.

"Congratulations!" Cherry cheers, "You now own Fart Bitch! Please come up here and tell everypony who you are, and how long you'd like to use her services for!"

A few ponies part, making way for the highest bidder. They emerge from the crowd and step up onto the stage, where you can finally see that your new owner is...