Desperation

As I use the restroom for the 5th time my friends sneak into my room. We where mid way a fun night of dinner and drinking games. There was music on the in the background and everyone was having fun.

There where nine of us in total. Felisha, Jennifer, Holly and Sandy. Then on the male side, Chris, Jacob, Rob, Rick and myself. We got along because when we got together we just let loose and let ourselves be more edgy in our own ways from time to time.

Jacob walks out of my room holding my journal. I am still relieving myself in the bathroom. "Guys! You gotta see this!" Jacob says in an excited yet hushed tone. Go in there and read this to everyone! Jacob commands, handing the journal off to Felisha as he holds the bathroom door knob not letting me come out.

I can hear only bits and pieces trying to figure out what's going on. Suddenly, a spontaneous burst of laughter from the entire group. I could make out someone talking amidst the hysterical laughter, it was steady and monotone like they where reading or something.

The very exhilarated laughter had me very curious, and why was Jacob messing with me and didn't want me to hear what he first said when he told someone to read something to the group?

All of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I literally turned white with horror. I had been writing sexual fantasies in my journal. I would take things as far as my imagination would allow in my journal fantasies. I would write detailed stories of being stranded naked in public with no way out whatsoever. In my writings, I would be **** by a few women to humiliate myself naked in public. They would do things like put a shock collar padlocked around my neck and shock me if I don't obey their imaginative ways of humiliating me. One story I was **** to ride naked in the back of a pickup truck all over the city while 3 woman drove and laughed at my helpless situation. In the fantasy, I had a blanket over me to cover but nothing else until near the end when the women stopped and got out ripping my blanket away from me only to continue the joy ride all over town. My fantasies where unhinged. Many of them including being tied up and tickled naked for an hour by a room full of woman. I am, ... some might say,... a perv. I don't see myself as a pervert, I am just deviant. Not a danger, just kinky. That is how I see myself.

My eyes open and I see Jacob and other friends looking over me with a concerned look on their faces. I must have passed out. Jacob and the other friends help me up and to the couch as Felisha offers to take me to the ER. "You had us worried there sport." Jennifer says poking me in the chest. I somehow passed out when the liqure, dizziness and adrenaline from the thought of them reading my journal all came to a head.

I'll just take an Uber to the ER, it's late and you have been drinking. I'll catch up with everyone on how the doctor says I'm doing in the morning. I say my good byes as the Uber drives up to take me to the ER and the friend group all wave and go back inside for the night.