Cobra Project Queen Cobra

Cobra Temple Alpha,

Level Red Silver Common Room,

The room looked like a lobby in an American Auto Oil-Change area. Couches, some coffee tables, TVs mounted on the walls each displaying a different news channel, side bars with coffee machines and minifridge stocked with drinks and snacks, a desk manned by a woman in a Crimson Guard dress uniform with all the phones and a computer. The Baroness walked in dressed in casual wear; leather capri pants, cobra branded Tank Top and sandals. She pushed her glasses up her nose as she saw Xamot and Tomax siting on a couch talking and rolled her eyes as they both turned and looked at her.

“Nostra Signora a Baronessa,” Xamot and Tomax said in unison.

Baroness took a deep breath before responding.

“Ja, meine kleinen Dornen?” Baroness quipped

“No need to be snippy,” Xamot said.

“We just want to talk, professionally,” Tomax added.

“Like when you wanted to ‘Cream pie your perfect ass!’ as you put it?” Baroness asked.

“In our defense, Major Bludd spiked our drinks,” Xamot said.

“Even Doctor Mindbender was saying sexually suggestive things about you,” Tomax continued.

“And he might as well have a rainbow tattooed on his bald head!” Xamot finished.

“Fair enough,” Baroness looked at the twins.

“Did you read the proposal on the Earwig code?” Xamot asked.

“It is quite promising!” Tomax added.

“What makes you think that it will work this time when we have used subliminal broadcasts in the past?” Baroness asked as she got a paper cup and selected a pod of coffee from the rack.

“Hand Machine Ghosts,” Tomax said.

“What?” Baroness asked.

“The Chinese term for Phone Addictions,” Xamot pipped in.

“Phone addictions?” Baroness asked.

“Yes, everyone has one, and they are on them all the time,” Tomax said.

“And while the past attempts tried to completely rewrite the brain in the first go around,” Xamot continued.

“But the Earwig code is designed to be microdosed,” Tomax continued.

“Microdosed?” Baroness perked up.

“Yes, a little change here, a little change there over weeks,” Xamot promised.

“And the best part is that with the right incentives,” Tomax grinned.

“We can get our new minions to buy everything from us as paying customers,” The pair said at the same time.

“I don’t know,” Baroness said as she added cream and sugar to her coffee, “The Joes have a habit of ruining our long term indoctrination schemes.”

“That is why someone needs to monitor the situation,” Xamot chimed in.

“We have ten thousand units of a new smart phone design ready with the ‘Queen Cobra’ operating system ready to turn every unit into a Cobra Trooper training center,” Tomax added.

“And some lovely little towns picked out,” they said in unison.

Baroness just looked at Tomax and Xamot as she took a sip of her coffee. The door behind them opened and in walked the lone figure humming the tune to ‘Carry on my Wayward Son.’ Baroness and the Crimson twins looked at the figure. It was Cobra Commander wearing an oxygen breathing mask, a tee-shirt with three Wookiees in a parody of the Three Dog Night album cover and Dad cargo shorts.

“Hay Flo,” Cobra Commander said to Crimson Guard stationed at the desk, “Once I rose above the noise and confusion…”

Baroness covered her eyes.

“Thell be peace when you are done…” The Commander continued humming and singing lines at random, “A Tomax and Xamot, has anyone gotten back to you about that Earwig code trial run?”

“I will be taking the team out as soon as possible!” Baroness blurted as she looked up at the ceiling and downed her coffee in one gulp.

“But we may need you here,” Xamot started with a slight smirk he tried to hid from the commander.

“This is too important,” Baroness lowered her head and closed her eyes, “I must personally administer this trial run.”

“Very well,” Cobra Commander said as he opened the mini-fridge and looked inside, “Flo, is there any more Watermelon Red Bulls?”

“No Commander, they were a limited run product,” the Crimson Guard at the desk said.

Tomax tensed in anticipation of an outburst.

“Ah, wasn’t that great of a flavor anyways, any one try this chocolate coffee flavored Monster?” The Commander shrugged the disappointment off.

“It is about as you expect from the name and the list of chemicals on the ingredient list,” Xamot said.

“Fair enough,” The commander said getting a can of Strawberry Lemonade Kickstart and closing the mini-fridge, “Well the twin’s project promises to take months before we see any results, so we will miss your company during briefings Baroness. But I expect regular reports from you on your teams other operations, is that clear?”

“Yes Commander,” Baroness said trying to keep her eyes only on the black rubber Oxygen breathing mask on the Commander’s face.

“Now, if you will all excuse me, I need to figure out how to get fifty kilojoules of energy into a forty kilojoules capacitor,” the Commander said before turning around and starting to hum White Snake’s ‘Mean Business,’ “Later Flo!”

“Later Commander!”

The Crimson Twins and the Baroness looked at the Crimson Guard behind the desk.

“Oh, that isn’t anywhere near our names,” the Crimson Guard chuckled, “But the Commander calls anyone in on duty at this desk ‘Flo’ just to be conversational Sirs.”