Carbon Pink

*BZZT*

-at? What do you mean, I gotta do the fucking orientation? Get that slacker Dabe to do it! He's what? He's dead? Ugh, that guy always has an excuse. Shareholders Above, fuckin'...whatever.

The static flickers, and the grumbling audio is joined by the image of a grumbling elf dressed in a snug labcoat and and entirely smile. He barely bothers to conceal another ill-humored huff before snatching the datapad that emerges from the side of the screen, immediately reading from it with the flattest affect possible.

Greetings, Generation Class Theta Iota Seven Twelve. Today, you are eighteen, and so today is the day you finally join us as brothers and sisters in the adult workforce of Tulwin-Bumbleshire Paints and Coatings.

The elf raises his voice, clearly anticipating that his audience will recite along with him.

T&B! Because every problem goes away with enough coats of paint! Trademark!

He clears his throat, returning to his monotone presentation.

For eighteen happy years you have been raised and nurtured in the Tender Bosom of Tulwin Bumbleshire, Tender Bosom Childcare System trademark T&B Paints and Coatings. And now that you are grown, and all pertinent child endangerment policies no longer apply, you join us in painting (and coating) the dreary past with a bright future, today! Trademark!

He continues to swipe at the datapad for a moment, eyebrows furrowing.

...what, that's it?

Mild confusion gives way to mild amusement as he shrugs, reaching out to flip off his end of the display. He must have failed to fully toggle the stream, however, because it remains live as he lets the datapad clatter onto the desk before him and tetchily flips off the still-active screen.

Shareholders, have you ever seen a less promising batch? I'd bet my annotated copy of Han Rei: Sloppy Tentacle Nites Part Six every single one of them winds up at the base of the tower before their next birthday. Maybe a dozen'll stay tucked away in their habicubes, jackin' it until their shifts at the plant, but the rest? Somewhere in the slums, stuffed full of wukong gits and fucking for candy. I....

He pauses, glancing back towards the screen.

.....We're still live?

The elf leans in, only to squawk in alarm as he's propelled face-first into the display by the explosion that erupts behind him, his squished face spiderwebbing the screen. The presentor leaves a behind a trail of drool as he slides bonelessly down the cracked monitor, his smooshed visage obscuring the confused bedlam of gunfire and mayhem that surrounds him. Another explosion rumbles out and the elf finally slips to the floor, his formerly pristine workspace him now a cloud of smoke and dust.

....Holy shit, is that still live?

A bright green face emerges from the fog of war, the gobbo's neon-painted lips cracked in a grin as her huge ears wriggle in delight.

Oh man noooo waaaaay~! Wassup lil' corpo babies?! It's Me, Ya Girl Momo on the Go-Go and we are straight PUNISHING on stream today!

Two flickering drones flit around the bravua shortstack as she pops into a pose, one desperately snapping stills as the other glows with the more languid light of broadcasting. She rests her still smoking submachine gun on one shoulder as she flashes an exuberant thumbs up, tongue coquettishly poking out and utterly unconcerned that one of her fat, avocado-toned tiddies has popped entirely out of her itty little crop top.

The paint that TulLOSE and BumbleSHIT makes smells so terrible that it's tootally ruining the lives of people! People like twenty-four month Go-Go Gang member Helles_Belles6969!

She expertly swaps poses, winking towards her drones as her other oversized boob plops out.

Don't worry HB; your girl's gotchu! So hey! We're gonna funnel today's whole batch of T&B Habicube Coat Low-Rent Red Edition into the corp's midrise executive washroom. Because every problem goes away with enough coats of paint! Trademark! Do you lil' baby corpos want to come with? My crew brought lots of guns and tech shit, and then you can all come to the afterparty! Where I'll probably fuck some of you! Unless I get real drunk, then I will definitely fuck all of you.

Momo starts to reload her gun, the deft precision of her practiced hands belied by her bubbly demeanor.

Does that sound good? Or do you wanna stay where you are? And, you know, do the whole company thing. Habicube, company food, company porn, company medplan that'll eventually harvest your body for material. Prolly to make stinky paint.

She leans forward, biting her lip as she questioningly taps the screen with her gun and absent-mindedly tries to pull her half-shift down over her stacked rack.

So, um, how does this work. Do you guys have a mic, or....no? Maybe yell real loud? Or, oh! Okay, um, turn your end off and on twice if you're in! Does that sound--

That thought melts into a grin as the display light on her screen immediately flashes twice.

Rad.

*BZZT*

(taken from the Carbon Pink wiki: https://slimwiki.com/carbon-pink)

Carbon Pink is a light-hearted cyberpunk themed cosmetic overhaul for Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition created by Rapscallion (https://www.patreon.com/rapscallionvns/posts), aiming to create the same roleplaying and combat opportunities as the traditional fantasy setting. Carbon Pink features a multitude of races, genetically altered from Humans, from the elegant E.L.Fs and untrusted Nayalings, to the mischievous and comical Wukong, to photosynthetic Gobbos and nomadic, stocky Jerboans, as well as the recently awakened androids known as Artificiates and the hosts of personality engrams called Remakes, and the cosmetically altered genetic mish-mashes known as Splicers.

All of 5e's classes and subclasses have been flavoured to fit the urban science fiction setting, as well as cantrips and spells, known as Tricks and Techs. Most enemies have been recategorized and flavoured with the cyberpunk themes in mind, and as a result Carbon Pink will feel very familiar yet fresh to fans of D&D 5e, allowing players to jump straight in.

So. Who are you?