Alec in Wonderland

Alec was bored.

He was fed up with his family, tired of their constant company, their inane ooohs and aaahs... oh and he desperately needed to pee.

To drain the dragon. Leak the lizard. Walk the snake or even (as the locals might say) "shake hands with the vicar."

It had been an hour and a half bus ride from London out to Christ Church and if his time in that metropolis hadn't been dull enough then a tour of this small Oxford professor's residence had it beat, hands down. It really sucked the big one.

It really shouldn't have been this way. Alec was eighteen and fresh out of school! He was finally on holidays somewhere he could legally drink but did he get to go out in one of the biggest cities in the world and party, live life a little, blow off some senior year steam? No, he had to be dragged along with his Mother, Father and younger sister on some boring ass tour of long dead Authors home.

Alec had asked his parents for a gap year, he had begged for one. Twelve months of time he could spend traveling abroad, backpack a little, maybe work in some English country pub for a while and really feel his oats. Maybe even find himself his own Spice Girl or two and have at his druthers for a while.

Instead they had compromised on a family Christmas holiday to the old country promising Alec it would be just as good... yeah right.

Definition: compromise /ˈkɒmprəmʌɪz/ noun. An agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions and both parties are left dissatisfied.

Yes, that was the compromise alright. Alec had hoped he might have been allowed to fly solo for part of the four week holiday, jump on a week long Contiki tour with a few other fresh graduates his age or slip over the channel for a wild weekend in Amsterdam but no. His mother was acting like she had empty nest syndrome already, his dad was the wettest of blanket in the history of manchester and his little sister Eswin was a tattle-tale, rat-fink brat.

The vacation so far had been drier and dustier than the Queen of England's nethers. Walking Pall Mall, seeing Big Ben, attending the National Gallery, taking photos of Buckingham Palace and the Museums. Oh god, the Museums!

There had been the Natural History Museum, then the Victoria and Albert Museum, then the National Maritime Museum, even the London Transport museum had made the long list of places Alec hadn't wanted to go but gone anyway. When did his Dad get such a raging hard-on for museums? Was it some form of late onset Objectophilia?

Either way Alec hadn't been anywhere fun and now he really needed to piss.

"...and here you can see one of the original inked illustrations drawn by John Tenniel circa 1865."

"Oooh, it's so beautiful." His mother thrilled dutifully.

"Aaah, you can even make out the pen-strokes. Are you seeing this Alec?" His father intoned ponderously before turning his attention to his increasingly agitated son.

"Yeah, it's great." Alec off-handed as he glanced over the picture of a girl in a modest dress and pinafore holding a flamingo. "Is there a bathroom somewhere in this dump?"

"Alec!" His mother scolded but he was over all of this already.

The home wasn't a dump in truth. They stood in a well appointed ye olde English study, old oak bookcases dominated two walls neatly arranged with leather-bound tomes filling the shelves. A wide arch window let what little winter sun there was in this dreary country shine onto a large walnut desk topped in green leather with twin actual fucking brass inkwells set into the age-polished timber. The tartan patterned carpet underfoot was a bit worn but clean and the beige wallpaper was in good repair if dotted with the small framed illustrations that he had been dragged here to see.

It was just all so old, old, old but Alec was still so young and he wanted to have some fun!

...and to punish the porcelain. It was quickly becoming a major priority.

"Young man, this was the home of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson..." His father rallied for the young university freshman who was delivering the tour, the kid couldn't have been a year or two older than Alec himself and didn't seem too off-put by Alec's back-handed remark. This was probably just extra-credit work for him.

"I'm sure the great man wrote the Alice books right there." Alec interjected waving a hand airily at ancient upholstery placed neatly at the deck, "That's great and all but I drank a super-sized cola on the looong~ drive over and it's banging on the bars to get back out, if you catch my meaning."

"Alec!" His mother remonstrated again, the posh had been really rubbing off on her in the two weeks they had been in the UK and she looked as though she was searching for some pearls to clutch. Good for her, maybe Dad could buy her some in one of the many Museums he undoubtedly still planned to tour.

"It's fine, I'll find it myself." Alec growled and turned his glare on the now smirking tour guide, "Thanks for the assist, man."

The Oxford brat had probably been holding out to see if the dirty yanks would openly brawl in front of him. All these limey Brits acted so cool and refined just so they could pretend to be shocked or scandalized when something finally gave in their confusing sunless slush-bucket of a country.

Well, Alec would see how much the useless prick would be smiling after he discovered the filthy Yankee urinated all over their precious Lewis Carroll's water closet.

He pushed past Eswin in the hallway, she had her head buried in her phone just as she had for most of the trip.

"Have you seen a bathroom anywhere?"

"Hmmmm, what?"

Typical.

"Nevermind."

Alec chose a door at random pushing it open and striding into a small windowless room with an olde timey stove complete with a shiny copper tea kettle on it's cast iron top. A wooden pale with a mop sat in one corner, that might have doubled for a chamber pot in a pinch but no dice. Spotting another door he duked his way through the small space and threw this one open too.

This was an even tighter space, maybe a linen cupboard with rows of clean folded white bed linens stacked in shelves on one side leaving enough room for Alec to sidle through to the partially obscured door on the other side. It had to be in here, these campus cottages were not that big.

Opening the door and sliding out of the claustrophobic room Alec was startled to find himself in a dark space surrounded by thick woolen clothing dangling from hangers. It smelt close and musty in there and he batted his way through the garments to reach small twin doors with small brass hands. Was he in a freakin' wardrobe? What was up with this house, did Albert Hofmann draw out the floor design?

Bursting through the twin polished doors Alec gaped to find himself in a long grandly appointed hallway. Where the hell was he now? There was no way this much space existed within the small professorial residence. Gleaming wood panelling glowed under humming gaslight lamps and a rich red runner carpet a good thirty feet to end at a massive grandfather clock that filled the entire space with the tick tock of it's swaying brass pendulum.

The ticking seemed to line up with the pulsing pain of forty-two liquid ounces of soda stretching his bladder, he was fit to rupture something and soon.

Large dark timber doors were interspersed down both sides of the corridor, looming like guardian sentinels with mirrors and portraits adorning the walls between them. Spotting a claw-footed side-table with a large crystal vase on it nearby, Alec grabbed it, threw aside the floral arrangement within (pansies he hazarded at a guess) pulled down his fly aaaand~...

Aaaah, sweet sweet release. Was there a greater feeling?

It seemed almost fitting that one of the doors down the corridor should fly open at this point...

"Eeeeeep! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Late and lost! Where is that door again, pyon?"

A girl! Alec froze as his bad luck held true, his urinating cock in one hand and the fast filling expensive looking vase in the other. The girl spun in confusion, dancing impatiently in place as she took in her surroundings then froze too when she spotted Alec.

Alec blinked. The girl was cute, with long hair so pale it was almost silver, her body was slim yet busty and her complexion creamy white perfection. A sky blue frock coat with white lapels cinched in tight at her waist before flaring out into skirts so short they revealed the ruffled black petticoats beneath. Her swollen tits were pushed up in a black corset under the figure-hugging coat, black and white checkered stockings covered her long, shapely legs tied off with bows at mid-thigh and a matching checkered bow-tie collared her otherwise bare, slender throat.

That was all really nice but what really grabbed his attention were her ears, her bunny ears. They were white with pink interiors and poked up through twin holes in the rim of a tiny little top hat sitting jauntily askew on her head. They were standing tall, turned towards him and twitching as they locked gazes. Her nose was twitching too, it was pert and tipped in black flesh with a few dark animal whiskers sprouting from either side of it.

A Bunny Girl?

Her eyes where wide, filled with terror as they tracked down his face to his chest to his stomach to his...

"Eeeek! A predator, pyon."

"No wait!" Alec cried, quickly thrusting the sloshing vase back onto the side table where it promptly tipped onto its side and shattered, spilling urine everywhere. "Shit, Shit, Shit."

The loud crash startled the bunny girl into flight, she spun, saw the huge grandfather clock and ran for it, her shiny black Mary Janes flashing in the muted light. Alec chased after her, trying to stuff his junk back into his jeans at the same time as he wrestled with the zipper.

"I'm sorry. Please I'm not a pervert, I just need directions to get out of here."

The strange rabbit lady wasn't listening though. She threw open the glass paneled door on the front of the standing clock, dropped to her knees and tried to crawl into the space underneath the heavy swinging pendulum. The movement sent her dark, diaphanous petticoats flying and Alec was treated to a view of her firm jiggling ass clad in blue and white striped panties and topped with... a snow white puff-ball tail?

"Oh no, oh no. Stuck, Stuck, pyon."

Alec slowed as he arrived behind the wriggling woman and immediately saw the problem. While her shoulders, and torso were small and her waist almost waspish, her hips and ass were thick and with the added layers of her skirts she was having trouble fitting them through the narrow opening in the clock. Where did she think she was going anyway?

"Come on, this is silly. Let me help you out of there." Alec said in a tone he hoped was calming, "I'm not going to hurt you, can we please just talk about this?"

The trapped girl's response was muffled and the ticking of the grandfather clock was loud with it's interior opened so Alec just grabbed her by the skirts and pulled, trying to drag her out of the confining space. The girl screamed at his touch and struck out at him with a surprisingly powerful kick. He instinctively twisted away so her leg extended out between his side and arm then latched down on her calf tucking it under his armpit.

"Hey now..." He began to say in alarm.

The move had twisted her hips at an angle and with the tearing sound of cloth, the strange girl lurched forward into the clock dragging Alec with her. Unlike her he was still semi-upright, at level with the swinging pendulum. It struck him with a glancing blow to the temple and he fell forward into darkness.

...and fell and fell and fell.