A whole new world

I'm Joel, and I'm 19. I'm going to College at the moment, having completed all my high school years.

I must admit, I was always interested in girls, but never really got very far with them. Ok, ok, I'll tell you the truth. I never even got past kissing. I thought I was a bit sad, but I really felt like I hadn't found "the one" yet. It sounds corny, but it's the truth. I just couldn't really commit.

And then, when I was about 16 or 17, I started to realise I was a bi-sexual. I started admiring men, and, I admit, I even scoped out my friends. But, I was never sure of my emotions, and my sexuality, so I just kept it to myself.

But, I was certain I was a bi-sexual, perhaps even gay, after my first gay experience. It was really hard to tell whether I liked girls or not still, because I had gone that far with a guy but never with a girl, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I'll tell you the story of my first gay experience.

It was my first day of College. I didn't know anyone, as I had travelled a long way to go here. Anyway, I knew none of the people I was in a dorm with, so on the first day, I was just unpacking, when this guy walked up to me.

"Hi. My name's Alex." he said, offering me his hand. I took it.

"I'm Joel." I told him.

"Looks like you don't know anyone either, huh? Me neither. I've come a long way for this college." he said.

"Yeh, me too."

I could tell Alex was gay. It was just one of those things. I mean, he didn't really "talk gay", and he didn't act camp or anything. I don't know how I knew. I just did.

"So, do you want to go get a bite to eat? I've heard the canteen here is pretty good." Alex asked.

"Sure." I replied. Even though I knew he was gay, I didn't have a problem with it. Hell, for all I knew, I was gay myself.

So we went down to the canteen and had some food. While we were eating, we got to talking. About where we came from, our family, the works. And then the question popped out.

"So, do you have a girlfriend?" Alex asked.

"Nuh. How about you?" I replied. I knew he would say no, but I was just being polite.

He laughed at that, and then leaned close to me as if to tell me a secret. "I'm gay." he said.

"Really? I didn't notice." I lied.

"Do you... mind?" he asked, a bit hesitantly.

"No, it's fine." I replied.

There was an awkward silence, and I thought I should probably say something.