The Wet Dream Before Christmas

It was late one day in Valentine’s land, and the air was sweet and hot. Against a tree a goddess had slept, on her favourite spot.

She was tall and curved with a full round ass; Aphrodite was her name. She was tired and bored in Valentine’s land - everything was always the same.

"I'm sick of the flirting, the fooling, the flings. I'm tired of being someone who takes care of those things. I'm bored with directing all those longing glances, and my feet hurt from dancing those seductive dances. I don't like speed dates, and I need attitude. There must be more to life than just the meet cute"

Then out from the tree, with the grace of a fly, Came a feathery, shining, spectral guy.

He was a young handsome god, with some glorious parts, And a golden-wrought bow that could chain mortal hearts.

Aphrodite loved Eros, the best son she had, Yet she hardly took notice, which made Eros sad.

All that night and through the next day, She wandered and walked. And was filled with dismay.

Then deep in the forest, just before night, She came upon an amazing sight.

Not twenty feet from the spot where she stood Were three massive doorways carved in wood.

She stood before them, completely in awe, Her gaze transfixed by one special door.

Entranced and excited, with a slight sense of worry,

She opened the door to a white, windy flurry.

She didn't know it, but she'd fallen down In the middle of a place called Christmas Town!

Immersed in the light, she felt finally at rest. Though the snow felt quite cold on her ample bare chest. And so that the nymphs wouldn't think her a liar, She took the present filled stockings that hung by the fire. She took candy and toys that were stacked on the shelves, And a picture of Santa with all of his elves. She took lights and ornaments and the star from the tree, And from the Christmas Town sign, she took the big letter C.

She picked up everything that sparkled or glowed. She even picked up a handful of snow. She grabbed it all and without leaving signs, She took it all back to Valentine’s.

Back in Valentine’s, a group of her peers, Stared in amazement at her Christmas souvenirs. For this wondrous vision she had begun, Most were excited, and a few quite turned on.

For the next few days, while her nymphs kept fornicating, Aphrodite sat alone and was secretly waiting.

On a hint as to why this all felt so complex, When before she was content with just meaningless sex. While old man Santa, he also spread cheer, How did he not get bored of it, year after year?" Vexed by her riddle, she thought and she thought. Then she got an idea. "Yes...yes...why not!"

In Christmas Town, Santa was making some toys, When through the din he heard a soft noise. He answered the door, and to his surprise, He saw three sultry maidens with sweet bedroom-eyes. They were all three persuasive and all a perfect 9. As they opened their robes, they yelled, "Be our Valentine!" Then a confused Santa was grabbed by the hand, And taken to sweet-scented Valentine’s land.

In Valentine’s everyone gathered once more, For they'd never seen a Santa before And as they cautiously gazed at this strange old man, Aphrodite told him her masterful plan:

"My dear Mr. Claus, I think it's a crime That you've got to be Santa all of the time! But now I will give presents, and I will spread cheer. We're changing places I'm Santa this year. It is I who will say Merry Christmas, I’m afraid! So you may lie in my bed, get drunk, and get laid. And please, Mr. Claus, don't think ill of my plan. For I'll do the best Santa job that I can."

And though Aphrodite had thought she couldn’t do worse, Her idea of Christmas was still quite perverse.

They were packed up and ready on Christmas Eve day When she hitched her reindeer to her perfect pink sleigh. But on Christmas Eve, as they were about to begin, A Valentine’s fog slowly rolled in.

She said, "We can't leave; this fog's just too thick. There will be no Christmas, and I can't be St. Nick." Then a small glowing light pierced through the mist, What could it be?...It was Eros, the pure hedonist!

She said, "Eros, with your arrows so bright, Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

And to handsome Eros this was a great show, So he joyously laid a golden arrow on his bow.

And as the shimmering sleigh started its flight, Aphrodite sang, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

'Twas a wet dream before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was peaceful, not even a mouse. The stockings all waiting for Santa to fill, When opened were sure to cause quite a thrill! The lovers, all nestled so snuggled in tights, Would have wet dreams of threesomes and gangbangs tonight. The moon that hung over the new-fallen snow Cast a mysterious light over the city below, And Santa Claus now didn’t laugh but she moaned, And the elves were at home, getting thoroughly boned. And what to their wondering eyes should appear, But a glittering sleigh with golden deer. And a beautiful driver voluptuous and thicc, They knew in a moment, this can't be St. Nick!

From house to house, with a true sense of joy, She happily issued each pleasure and toy. From rooftop to rooftop she jumped and she bounded, Finding lovely lustful lovers to pound and be pounded! Unaware she left households in chaos and ruin, She merrily spread legs for the joy of it-doing.

She visited the house of Susie and Dave; And left after bouncing on their neighbor’s stave. Then on to the home of Pretty Jane Neeman; Who got on all fours and was covered in semen.

One woman was gifted with tentacle love, Another was cuffed and quite tightly stuffed, A man who had planned to eat out his wife,

Was sat on by ‘Dite and begged for his life.

There were screams of pleasure, and moans of desire, And as she flew further, her spirits got higher! She finally looked down from the dark, starry sky And saw all the orgies, the cumming, the high. "Why, it’s like Valentine’s, it looks like such fun! I bet Santa’ll thank me for the good job that I've done." But while her new Christmas was certainly adored, Within a few hours, she was starting to get bored. No matter the banging, or how much she came, Both Christmas and Valentine’s started to feel quite the same. So away she flew like a sweet summer breeze, And steered back to Valentine’s with her mind ill at ease. And as she left on the first ray of light,

She sang, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

She landed the sleigh on her garden’s terrace, And from there she reviewed her previous errors. "I thought I could be Santa, I had such belief..." She was confused and filled with great grief. Not knowing where to turn, she looked toward the sky, Then he slumped on the tiles and she started to cry. And as Eros and ‘Dite lay crumpled on the ground, They suddenly heard a familiar sound....

"My dear Aphrodite," said Santa, "I applaud your intent. I think what you did was not what you meant. And so you are sad, and feeling quite blue, But taking over Christmas was the wrong thing to do. I hope you realize Valentine's the right place for you. There's a lot more, love, that I'd like to say, But now I must hurry, for it's almost Christmas Day." Then he jumped of her bed, and with a wink to the sluts, He said, "Merry Christmas, I’ve rearranged their guts.”

When he left, they were sad, but then, like a sign, Santa brought Christmas to the land of Valentine.