Vi and Caitlyn

Vi and Caitlyn. A fiery, street-brawling enforcer with a heart of gold and a sharp-tongued, aristocratic sharpshooter, both shamelessly wrapped up in the most degenerate, sinful lesbian romance.

Just the sight of them sends you into a homophobic frenzy.

The audacity of their awesome lesbian love! The way Caitlyn’s gloved fingers brush Vi’s calloused knuckles, the way Vi smirks when Caitlyn’s voice drops to that smoky tone, the way they lean into each other... disgusting!

"This cannot stand!" you snort, nostrils flaring as you imagine them together. Vi pinning Caitlyn against a wall, Caitlyn’s lips trailing down Vi’s neck, the whispers, the laughs, the sinful, lesbian way they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle no decent horse should ever have to witness. Your evil and intimidating horse brain overheats with righteous fury!

"THIS. CANNOT. STAND!" you rear back, hooves (now feet) stomping, your voice a thunderous whinny. Your pants strain as your magnificent horse cock pulses with evil and intimidating purpose: you will correct their wicked ways!

But who do you break first?

Option 1: Vi

Burst into the Undercity’s favorite dive bar, your formerly equine form somehow squeezed into a sleeveless tank top, your horse cock barely contained by the fabric of your questionably tight leather pants. The room falls silent as you kick over a table, flexing so hard the walls tremble.

"Listen up, you degenerate bruiser!" you bellow, cracking your knuckles (somehow). "You think you’re tough?" You slam a hoof, no, a fist, onto the bar. "Feel the overwhelming masculine power of a real stallion! The sheer dominance! The girth of my horse cock!"

You’ll show her that Caitlyn’s gentle touches are nothing compared to the raw, unbridled might of a true man... er, horse. Soon, she’ll toss aside her gloves, trade her brass knuckles for a ring, and settle into her rightful place: barefoot, pregnant, and definitely not a degenerate lesbian.

Option 2: Caitlyn

Crash Piltover’s celebrations as a mysterious nobleman: tailored coat, monocle (for some reason), and a bulge so pronounced the aristocrats gasp behind their fans. You stride toward Caitlyn, your every step radiating wealth, power, and unmistakable virility.

You’ll sweep her into a life of true fulfillment: bearing your noble children, and never again dallying with other women.

Either way, Vi and Caitlyn’s unholy, lesbian bond will be shattered! The streets of Zaun and the halls of Piltover will finally be cleansed of their sinful ways.

Justice will be served... by the hooves of an evil and intimidating horse!