Truth

I sighed. I couldn't lie to her, not even now, when i probably should. Was i just stupid or did i respect her too much?

"i saw you..." I tried to think of how to say 'fingering yourself and pinching your nipples' in a way that would upset her least. "i-i saw you."

"Oh, no...." she sobbed softly.

"shana, don't worry about it."

"What do you mean don't worry about it!!? My lifelong best friend just watched me have an orgasm!! I assume you heard me too!?"

"......yeah."

"AND he heard me say his name while i did it! Tell me! How the hell am i supposed to not worry about that!?" So tempting to tell her i hadn't heard her say my name, but that was too cruel.

I didn't know, but i had to say something. "it's...not that big a deal. so you touched yourself to me. so?"

"WHAT?! How can you be so casual about this!? A-aren't you disgusted by me? You're my friend, and you're hurt, you're not supposed to be something for me to think about while i touch myself!"

"shana....gulp...really, it's alright. to be honest, i...." She looked up at me, tears in her eyes. I was about to plunge headlong into the sea of awkward confessions with a 50-50 chance of saving and destroying this friendship. It was too late too say nevermind now, so..."i...kinda do that too."

"You...you kinda do what too?"

I was silent.

"Tell me...." The pleading. I couldn't deny her.

"sometimes, i think about you while i....jerk off..."

Her eyes opened so wide, i though it was gonna tear her face in half.