Town Meating Song

[APHRODITE]

Listen, everyone

There were objects so peculiar

They were not to be believed

All around, things to tantalize my skin

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen

And as hard as I try

I can't seem to describe

Like a most improbable dream

But you must believe when I tell you this

It's as real as my lips and it does exist

Here, let me show you

This is a thing called a present

The whole thing starts with a box

[HARLEY QUINN COSPLAYER, INCUBUS & BURLY LUMBERJACK]

A box?

With a hole?

For our cocks?

So I can get off my rocks?

Our cocks

How delightful, that box

[APHRODITE]

If you please...

Just a box with bright-colored paper

And the whole thing's topped with a bow

[CHEERLEADER 1 & CHEERLADER 2 (Together)]

A bow?

That’s hot.

I’ll wear it

I’ll wear it

We’ll wear it

[APHRODITE]

But the point of the thing’s not to know!

[NURSE, SUCCUBUS & TENTACLE MONSTER]

It's a toy

Will it buzz?

It's a boy!

Will it blow?

Perhaps it's to stuff yourself full from below?

[APHRODITE]

Listen now, you don't understand

That's not the point of Christmas land

Now, pay attention

We pick up this red and white cane

And set it like this in the snow

[****, MASTER & STEPMOM]

Oh, yes! Can you hit me with that?

We can try, let me test

You could also just ram it real far up her ass!

[APHRODITE]

Um, let me explain...

There's no use for it, but it’s pretty

We just stick it here and we’re in luck.

[STEPBRO & STEPSIS (Together)]

You’re stuck?

I am stuck!

I’m in luck?

Do you just want to fuck?

[DEMON & MAYOR]

Or you knock out the husband

And make him a cuck!

What a splendid idea

This Christmas sounds fun

I fully endorse it

Let's try it at once

[APHRODITE]

Everyone, please now, not so fast

There’s something here that you don’t quite grasp

Well, I may as well give them what they want…

And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last

For the ruler of this Christmas land

Is a beefy king with a thick mighty cock

Least that's what I've come to understand

And I’ve also heard it told

That he’s something to behold

Like a wrestler, huge and buff

And he sets out to lay everyone in the world

With his bulging sack and his big great arms

That is, so I’ve heard it said

And in the dark cold night

Under full moonlight

He climbs into your room

Just to feel that you are tight

And they call him Shags-da-Hoes

Well, at least they’re excited

But they don’t understand

That special kind of feeling in Christmas land

Oh, well...