The Slightest Touch

"Okay, why don't you just lay back and enjoy" Jake advised the woman whose world he was supposed to be rocking imminently as he eagerly unzipped his jeans.

"You're not being serious, are you, professor?" Jess looked at him with a raised eyebow as she sat in place.

"What do you mean?" Jake asked in a confused panic.

"I think you're teasing me. Pretending to be one of those guys who is ready to dive in the moment he becomes erect, regardless of whether the girl is warmed up to it or not. As someone with such a comprehensive understanding of female biology there's no way you can consider that acceptable bedroom etiquette."

"Er....we could make out for a bit first?"

"Oh come on professor, just because I've never engaged in sexual intercourse before that doesn't mean I'm completely ignorant about how it works. I think you must be performing some sort of humorous satire of the average bumbling male lover." she looked down at Jake's crotch "I've evidently succeeded in stimulating you simply by getting undressed but you know full well I'm not even close to that point yet. I mean, my vagina hasn't even lubricated itself, look!"

She parted her legs and raised them a little as evidence. The view wasn't doing much to lower Jake's desire to deal with his own arousal as urgently as possible. Or to form coherent words to respond with.

"Um, yes. I was being satirical there, well spotted" he nodded "It was all just an amusing jape. Of course we need you to be stimulated and, er, properly lubricated, before we start."

"I'm relieved to hear that, for one horrible moment I thought you might have been serious. I think if that were the case I should have sent you away and attended properly to my own needs. A man of your expertise surely knows all the right spots to hit and in what order to truly make a girl's body sing. That's the kind of treatment I want from you. Mazimum arousal. Then I'll be happy for you to use my body as a vessel for your own relief."

"Damn, I like this girl, she's not taking any of your shit!" Bash giggled.

"Sure. Okay. Sounds like a plan..." Jake agreed, though he had no idea how he was supposed to live up to the extremely high expectations of him that this girl apparently had.

"Perfect, then I'm all yours, maestro!" Jess smiled as she lay down on the bed and waited for her mind to be blown.

"Oh Jakey, only you could be this far out of your depths with a virgin!" Bash was nearly doubled up with laugher by now at his friends predicament "Let's take another time out."

Once again Jess was frozen naked in front of the pair as they discussed how to handle this scenario.

"Mate, you've got to help me out here!" Jake pleaded "Just mind zap her so she thinks whatever I do to her is amazing and lets me fuck her. I don't think I can hold out much longer here before my balls burst."

"I dunno Jakey, I've been taking a lot of what you've said to me lately on board and I think mind zapping people, particurly innocent young women like ths lovely lady here, might not be entirely ethical."

"What?!" Jake exclaimed in disbelief "Since when have you ever given a shit about ethics?!"

"I know, you've picked me up on that before and I've decided that you were right all along."

"And when did you decide this exactly? In the few minutes since you were telling me to take naked pictures of the same woman whose honour you're now defending? The one you turned into a slutty cheerleader earlier today?"

"Yes. I think it was something about the way you bitched at me for stopping so you could take a photo and told me how wrong that was before you caved in and did it anyway a few seconds later. I found that rather inspiring, my very owm road to Damascus moment if you will"

"I will not. Mate, I don't have time for this hilarious bit you're doing. Just stop dicking around and help me out."

"Like I said, I think what we've been doing is wrong. You didn't like me turning Little Loser Lorriane into a nudst lesbian slut even though it obviously won't be forever and I'll make everyone forget about it afterwards. Well, maybe this girl has a brother too."

"Okay, fine I'm a fucking hypocrite and I admit that. But come on, you pushed me to get this far I can't turn back now."

"Maybe you can impress her with your natural love making skills."

"Please just help me, Bash."

"Why would you even need my help?" Bash asked with mock confusion.

"You know why" Jake sighed.

"Then say it!"

"Because I won't be able to impress her with my naturai love making skills."

"There, that wasn't so hard was it now?" Bash taunted "And in return for my assistance I get to leave Little Loser Lorraine as a nudist lesbian slut for another month?"

"Another week. And just a nudist lesbian, not a slut. And you'd better not be lying about fixing everything afterwards."

"Okay, fine. You're breaking my balls with all of these demands and caveats, but since we're best friends I'll accept your terms. Now, here's how I propse we deal with your little sexual inadequacy problem"

"Just spit it out!"

"Okay man, geez!" the pretend friend then seemed to become distracted, paused for a moment and narrowed his eyes at one of the posters on Jess's wall "Is that Trainspotting? I used to love that movie."

"BASH!"

"It's okay man, I'm just goofing around. I've got ya back here. Your ol' buddy Bash is going to work his magic so that, just for tonight, the mere touch of a man will drive Jess orgasmically wild. And since you are the only thing vahuely resembling a man in the building and she is lying there naked in front of you ready to be touched, well, I don't think even you can fuck this one up."

"Okay, sounds good to me. Do your thing!"

Once Bash had completed some unnescessary, overly theatrical gestures he nodded at Jake to let him know the deed had been done before unfreezing his date, who was still waiting for impatiently for something to happen.

"Okay professor. Respectfully if you are planning on doing anything to me can you start doing it now"

Jake looked down at the smoking hot, albeit by this point slightly bored looking naked beauty lying on the bed in front of him and was ready and eager to go. If Bash's spell had worked as he'd promised then, after a bit of nipple play and some vaguely competent fingering, Jess ought to be satisfied and moist enough to allow Jake to get his dick wet too.

"Okay, I won't keep you waiting any longer."

Jake undressed and climbed onto the bed next to his sexy date. He then reached out his hand and stroked Jess's arm gently.

"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!"

Jake pulled his hand away in shock at the extreme reaction.

"NODON'TFUCKINGSTOP!!!" Jess roared.

Jake began gently stroking her arm again as she began to gasp in barely controllable sexual ecstasy while vigorously massaging her pussy. Jake could hear Bash making happy groaning sounds behind him as well which meant Jake was now the only person in the room not masturbating. After a while Jess pulled her hand away from between her legs and started breathing heavily in exhaustion as if she had just run a marathon, though there was a huge, satisfied smile on her face.

"My goodness professor, to think I was starting to doubt your expertise. That was truly phenonenal. I'm at a loss to understand how you could make my arm quite so erogenous but, wow! Consider me impressed!"

She then looked at Jake's hard on and made an apologetic expression.

"This is going to sound awful and super hypocritical after my earlier complaints against males, but you've completely exhausted me for tonight and I think I need to sleep now. But I'd love for us to spend more time together tomorrow and I'm sure I can make it up to you then?"

---

"You total fucking bastard!" Jake seethed at Bash as they made their way back to the staff section of the building "You just wanted to see her masturbate furiously."

"'Masturbate furiously" is truly beautiful phraseology, Jakey. I swear you have a touch of the romantic poet in you" Bash joked before seeing just how furious Jake was with him and deciding he should placate his friend instead rather than mock him "Look man, I got the intensity of the spell a little off, that's on me. But on the bright side she wants to see you tomorrow, she said she's going to make it up to you which is a virtual guaramtee of some serious sexytimes and I promise you she'll be telling all her friends about how Professor Michael Michaels reinvented her sexual world. Plus, she's still technically a virgin so there is still taking that from her to look forward to, though I think she probably broke her own hymen already"

"None of that helps me much now though, does it?"

"C'mon man. You've got the photo right? Once you've drained your balls to that you'll feel right as rain. And then we can find a whole load more fun shit to do to all the talent there is in this place. It will be awesome. Just Bash and Jakey going on adventures. Forever. For a hundred years"

"You can fuck right off with that!"

"What? You're the one who told me to update my pop culture references"

"Yeah, but I'm not fucking Morty in this relationship!"

"Sure you aren't buddy" Bash put his hand on his friends shoulder "Sure you aren't"