The Setup

"With all your melodrama out of the way, let's get to finishing off the explanations," Not-Alfred said. "As you know, we just left the Hall of Justice. Mrs. Free and Ms. Cain will be able to help guide you to the bedrooms, the galley, or any other places you require to go. All I require of you is to clarify anything we've yet to clarify. Firstly, Ethan, you will always be able to mentally access a 3rd person point-of-view of anyone, just search for it mentally, and it'll pop in your HUD. For the rest of you, your HUD will be your access to the Shop, where you can buy your new clothes if you need them, or you can buy Transformations for yourself or your Contestants."

Cassandra signed.

"If we're going to try and win this, what's the number we need to get to win?" Barda translated.

"Whichever side is at +5 first will have won," Brother Eye said, then he started walking away

Brother Eye raised his finger and turned back to us. "One more thing before I head out. On your Date, head to the Zeta Tube, which will teleport you to an imitation of a location of your choice."

With that, he dematerialized, and I sighed.

"Of course he'll just vanish, unhelpful fuck," I muttered. "Barda, would you mind guiding us to the galley? I wouldn't mind some food before I sleep on whatever the fuck this is."

"How do we know Brother Eye is telling the truth about you?" Zatanna challenged.

"You don't," I sighed. "But to be honest, it doesn't really matter, unless you want to change into those Caricatures."

"Cass says this guy won't be a problem," Barda said. "Maybe a little worrying, but he's not the issue, Brother Eye is."

"Thanks, Miss Cain," I said awkwardly.

Cassandra gave me a thumbs up.

"The galley is this way," Barda said, leading us. "Ethan Greene, Jennifer Walters, you two seem to have the most information about what's going on, if you could please explain?"

"The only thing I know more than any of you is that our stories are technically fiction," Jennifer said.

"What does that mean?" Ahsoka asked.

"We have established personalities," I explained. "Even though the authors could write us to do whatever they want, like for example, start an orgy right in this hallway, they really can't because it's out of character. We have archetypes, pre established stories and hard lines. Miss Cain is selectively mute, and she's nearly as good as a telepath when it comes to reading people. She's also the product of two people who hate each other, so it bleeds into her story. Miss Munroe is T'Challa's ex-wife, and she always has a moral dilemma choosing mutants over Wakanda, even though we all know she'll choose mutants in the end. This whole gameshow is about adding to our archetypes so that we get to the point where I can fuck everyone."

"And yet, you want us to believe you're blameless?" Elektra asked as we entered the galley.

""If Matt was here, he'd be able to tell you I'm being honest," I said as I scooped my food onto my tray. "Does this seem appetizing? Sure. But I'm just a character here. You guys all have established personalities, I don't. I can be whoever the author and the Directors want me to be. If we're being honest, you guys are safer than me, and more fleshed out as people."

"So, you've accepted the perversion of this show," Ororo said as we sat down. "Aren't you ashamed?"

"Miss Munroe, I've read comic panels where you're naked," I said simply. "Until twenty minutes ago, you weren't real. Now, I know that I'm not real. So, I might as well accept it, shouldn't I?"

"You realize you're not endearing yourself to any of us?" Rachel asked.

"Do I need to?" I shot back. "Once you realize the futility, you'll scamper for my favor anyways."

I stood up. "I've lost my appetite, I'll see you all tomorrow morning."

I left the galley and started breathing heavily, leaning against the wall. Once I had calmed down, I realized I didn't know the way to the rooms.

Someone tapped my shoulder, and I spun in fright.

"Fuck," I said to Cassandra. "You gave me a scare."

"You don't know the way," Cassandra said.

"No, I don't," I admitted. "And you've already had your speech therapy."

"Already?" Cassandra asked as she led me through the hallways.

"I don't know how it works," I admitted. "Like when were you pulled from."

"Just left Birds of Prey recently," Cassandra offered. "Was me, Barda, Dinah, Babs, and Sin."

"So it seems like you're just the most recent as of end of 2025 in my world," I said thoughtfully. "Thanks, Miss Cain."

"Cass," Cassandra corrected. "That's your room."

I looked at where Cassandra was pointing, and sure enough, there was a door with my name on it.

"Thanks, Cass," I corrected. "See you tomorrow?"

Cassandra nodded and patted my shoulder, then she headed to her own suite.

I entered my suite and sighed, then I lay down.

I woke up the next morning with a satisfied groan.

After freshening up, I met everyone at the galley.

"Good morning," I said to everyone.

"Morning, Master," Ahsoka said.

Cassandra waved at me brightly, much to everyone else's displeasure.

Cassandra made a sleepy gesture, then she looked at me questioningly.

"She's asking how you slept," Barda said.

"It was great," I said. "That was the best bed I've ever slept on."

There was a buzzing sound, and two lights flashed in front of me, until it turned into a holographic image of Brother Eye.

"I'm sorry to disturb your attempts at socialization, but it is time for me to announce who is Ethan's lucky Date today!" Brother Eye exclaimed, then he pulled a paper out of his pocket. "Today's Date will be... Miss Elektra Natchios!"

Elektra made a dismissive sound.

"Don't sound so unexcited," Not-Alfred chastised. "Do enjoy all of your day, please. And if you need anything, just call for me, and I'll help you!"

With that, he dematerialized once again.

"Like he'd actually be helpful," I said. "He'd probably rather throw us all off this station."

"I agree," Barda said. "It feels almost like they've made it difficult through spontaneity."

"That's probably Deadpool's doing," I said. "Usually, we know the schedule of the Dates, but it seems like Deadpool wants a sense of suspense in everything."

"That is something he would do," Jennifer said. "Well, is there any place I can punch my feelings out?"

"I find myself in need of a spar as well," Barda said. "I shall take you to the gym after breakfast."

"Sounds perfect," Jennifer said.

I ate my breakfast in silence, thankful that they were seemingly getting along.

Hopefully, it'd stay that way.