The Dandy Highwayman

As the coach approached, you swiftly approached it from behind the tree. Pistols drawn, you bravely brought yourself into the middle of the road, making it impossible for the carriage to get around. The horses whined loudly as they were brought to a quick halt by the coach's driver, a dwarf who's frayed and gray beard showed his days of glory were well behind him.

"Stand and Deliver!" You called out, loudly so that he and his passengers could easily here. The coachman let go of the reigns and reached for a drawn crossbow at his side. Showing restraint, he held back from firing. He was still hotly defiant, despite his relative inability to stop you.

"The utter imputence" he shouted. "Do you have any idea who you've accosted?"

"Not in the slightest, which is good news for all of you. It means none of this is personal, and that nobody has to die." You provided a calm tone that helped keep the tense situation from escalating "I'm not here to hurt anyone. Let's put that down, let me be about my business, and everyone can be on their way."

"Try anything" the elderly dwarf warned "and I'll send you to meet Dineth the Destroyer." Weapon down, you moved about to the door of the carriage, pistol still drawn. Inside were a human couple, about as old as their driver, or so you surmised. It was hard to telll ages for beings that lived such short lives. The man, husband you assumed, was quick to impose himself between you and his beloved, and to protest.

"What is the meaning of this!" His tone was clearly angry, well justified, but did not appear to be antagonistic or hostile. "This is an utter outrage!"

You sized him and his wife up briefly, having a rough sense of the value of their attire, and where they likely sat within the social order. Seeing her wearing a necklace of silver and diamonds, but little else, you started to get a sense for things.

"That lovely bauble your wife is wearing," You began, your pointing at it causing immediate worry in her face "Do you have any idea how many mouths you could feed with the value of such a thing?"

Both of their faces drew in immediate confusion. Quickly looking at each other, conforming neither had an answer "No, I don't. Why do you care?"

"The fact that you don't know is the real outrage here." There was astonishment and disgust in their faces, but neither could muster up words to counter the idea. At least, not initially.

"Out" You ordered shortly as you waived your weapons back and forth, pointing where you wanted them to go. They moved slowly and begrudgingly, but compliance was still compliance.

"You aren't exactly the princess of the paupers yourself, young lady" the gentleman finally rose up in anger "That makeup and outfit could certainly be used to buy a few loaves of bread. Why don't you go fix the problem?"

"That's what I'm doing" As you turned to the carriage and rummaged through "don't think that because I haven't taken a vow of poverty that you and I are the same." You spoke loudly, not even looking at him as you continued to make your point "I at least know the extent of the problem. I've looked in the faces of starving children. Can't imagine you've done the same, have you?"

The open question was never responded to, which was all the better for you. Looking through, you didn't see anything you could take and pawn of meaningful value. "Well, fuck" You let out, frustrated "What's the point of robbery when nothing's worth taking?". Taken a step back and with a practiced turn about face, you brought yourself back to the old humans. There was a new sense of fear in their eyes, given your evident dissatisfaction. The lady in particular was putting her hand over her precious jewelry.

"Let me guess" You began, a softer tone "A family heirloom."

"Yes" The lady nodded and looked down at for a few seconds "at least four generations back."

"I guess that means it's almost as old as me" You humored, though there was predictably no response from them. "I'm not a monster, and I'm not ****. Keep it, and be about your day. Just remember, someone else in more dire straits wouldn't be so accommodating"

"Are you expecting to be thanked for not robbing us?" The old man demanded, clearly offended.

For your part, you maintained your calm demeanor "I expect that a couple as old as you are, as humans go, to think things through. I expect you to get in your carriage and continue on with your day. Nothing more than an inconvenience, if you're quick about it."

The couple looked at each other in confusion and astonishment, before rushing back to their carriage. No sooner did they have their backs to you, did you return the favor. Making a vaunted and acrobatic leap over a stone wall, you scurried away before any witnesses or members of the constabulary showed up. You were frustrated that you had come up short this time. You reminded yourself that problems can't be solved in a day, as you headed home to try and regroup and make new plans.